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Kaley Cuoco Is Sorry Her Dogs’ Butts Were On The American Flag
This year’s 4th of July is turning out to be one for the books. We learned what it means to exercise your rights as an American via Christie Brinkley. Taylor Swift showed us what patriotism looks like for the young, rich and in love (with a contract). And then we had a little blip of patriotic controversy courtesy of Kaley Cuoco.
Frances Bean’s Ex-Husband Is Coming For Kurt’s Guitar
It’s time for everyone’s favorite game! Say it with me… I! Feel! OLD! (confetti drops, horns blow, etc). Today’s contestant is Frances Bean! Frances Bean, come on dooooowwwwnnn! Hi, Frances! Some facts for our viewers at home: Frances is 23, her father is the late Kurt Cobain of Nirvana, her mother is national treasure Courtney Love. Frances is recently divorced, and now Frances’s ex-husband is looking to take something very near and dear to the family away: Kurt’s guitar that he played on MTV Unplugged.
That’s right, the grunge queen baby we all remember is not only divorced, she’s going through a messy divorce. She and Isaiah Silva got married last year in a private ceremony that was so private even Courtney wasn’t there. They’d been together for five years prior to that, but eventually got divorced after 21 months of marriage. Seeing as Frances’s inheritance and Kurt’s estate is speculated to be in the neighborhood of $450 million, everyone was guessing that shit would get real nasty with Isaiah trying to grab a chunk of that. But his eyes seem more fixed on a different prize.
According to TMZ, Isaiah – who’s the lead in the band The Eeries – claims Frances gave him Kurt’s famous Martin D-18E guitar from his 1993 MTV Unplugged performance (which is also the last guitar Kurt ever played) as a wedding gift and now he wants to sashay away with it. Which makes sense: grungy musician types would rather walk around with Kurt’s guitar than a big pile of cash or a hefty monthly deposit.
In true Judge Judy fashion, TMZ says that Frances has denied ever giving Isaiah the guitar as a gift, and wants it back. The guitar was once insured for $1 million, but experts think it could be worth way more than that now.
There’s been talk that Frances is seeking to have her premarital assets awarded as separate property so she’s protected, but that she’s open to giving that charlatan spousal support. More importantly, TMZ has video of Courtney’s response to the news of Isaiah trying to take that guitar. Courtney says it’s not his to take. She also says the phrase “treasured family heirloom” approximately 15 times in the short clip. I agree with her on that. I’d also like to respond to Courtney by saying that, you, my dear, are a treasured family heirloom to the human family.
Pic: Splash
Taylor Swift Had A Quiet And Intimate 4th Of July
“Aren’t friends the coolest?! Friends are so fun. You can braid each other’s hair. Make friendship bracelets. Play Dream Phone when mom is busy making snacks! It’s just endless when you have friends! Especially friends who are tall and thin and pretty and have millions of Instagram followers. And it’s always great to have quiet, intimate, just between us girls time away from the public eye. Have you got friends? I definitely do!” – Taylor Swift.
As you probably already know, thanks to Tom Hiddleson’s totally unintentional attention-grabbing wet t-shirt stunt, Taylor Swift had a huge, mega fun kind of 4th of July. Guests included Blake Lively, Karlie Kloss, Cara Delevigne, Ruby Rose, Uzo Aduba, Gigi Hadid, and Ryan Reynolds. Sorry if the rest of this post turns into random letters, my eyes are stuck in roll and my eyelids are malfunctioning.
E! News says that besides wanting to spend time with a small fraction of her 5,978 BFFs, Taylor also wanted them to meet Tom and see what they think. You’ll be shocked to learn that all her friends love him and probably made him feel super comfortable when they started talking about the wedding while shaking his hand. E!’s source said this:
Tom has met all of Taylor’s best friends at this point in their relationship. They all really like Tom and like how he treats Taylor. Things are moving fast between them but none of her friends are worried because they never have seen her this happy. Both feel that their connection is rare.
Totally awesome friends? Check! Hottie boyfriend that is ssssssoooooo much better than the last one that all her totally awesome friends love? Check! New tits? Maybe. Girlfriend is really living the life. Now if only any aspect of it smelled authentic…
Here’s Tay and the girls just having spontaneous, non-staged Delia’s Catalogue fun in the name of patriotism:
Pics: Instagram
Justin Bieber Went Wakeboarding In His Underwear
How’s your day going? Good? Good. I’m glad. Mine? I’ve just spent 10 minutes looking up past stories that involve the baddest little tyke from up north being that toddler at the party that just has to pull down his pants. And now that will be part of your day too. If I have to suffer this, so will you.
Miley Cyrus And Liam Hemsworth Continue Their Re-Romance
As you’re all aware, I’m sure, there’s been whisperin’ goin’ ’round town that that-there little Miley Cyrus is back to knockin’ boots with that-there feller with the strange accent from that far way kangaroo place. Well, I’m not one to gossip, but it sure does look like she and Liam Hemsworth are workin’ on gettin’ the fire back in the chimney because they dun been seen holdin’ together again. Ok, enough of that talk, I’m getting a headache.
Queen of all things discrete and not loud or attention seeking, Miley Cyrus, has been keeping her rekindled romance with Liam on the down-low for a little while now. Back in May they were spotted holding hands in public. A month later the two were spotted holding hands (OMG! IT’S LOVE!) at Soho House in New York. And now the cheeriest chipmunk to ever hit a bong has been spotted with him again at Soho House in LA. Woah, they’re even committing to a place. People says they hung out with pals on Sunday, and Miley was once again seen wearing the 3.5 carat ring he gave her all the way back in the prehistoric time of 2013, when they were first engaged. And that wasn’t the only ohemgeesocute moment of the weekend for Miley. There’s a new Cyrus in town. A beagle named Barbie:
This appears to be more evidence that Miley is cancelling her membership to Crystals4Coochies.com and wants to be all domestic and shit. Her hair is growing out. She’s wearing outfits that cover the front, sides, and back of her genitals. And her tongue hasn’t tried to escape in what feels like forever. I think the Miley wedding we were all hoping for – an LSD-fueled trip into Beanie Baby hell set to the theme of Hee Haw – isn’t gonna happen. The least we can hope for now is a down-home backyard style with the dogs as ring bearers.
And here’s Miley and Liam chillin’ at Soho House:
Pics: Splash
Alicia Vikander Is Driven By Fear
If there’s one thing we all learned from Showgirls, it’s that there’s always someone younger, hungrier and meaner right behind you. Granted, that’s really the whole point of the story, but we learned so many things. Most importantly, that nipples can be orange sometimes. Why? Because. That lesson isn’t lost on even the youngest and newest Hollywood stars. The younger, hungrier thing – not the orange nipples. Like thespian du jour, Alicia Vikander.
Alicia is on the cover of this month’s Vogue UK and inside she takes a minute to talk about what drives her. Even though she’s fresh off of winning an Oscar, she knows she’s still got to hustle and bust a move if she wants to stay on top. When asked what keeps her going, she said:
“You have the fear. Maybe that’s why I keep on working. Because it will stop one day.”
Alicia is 27, so she’s right to be afraid. Pretty soon she’ll be reaching Maggie Gyllenhaal territory. She’s fine for the moment though because she’ll hopefully have someone franchise money coming in with that Lara Croft reboot. Alicia also spoke about the advice her Jason Bourne co-star, Matt Damon, gave her about winning an Oscar. She says it was the best advice she got in regards to the possible win.
“He told me what a rush it was. I think his was the best advice. He said, ‘Enjoy it.'”
I like how that also subtly says, “I knew I’d win, so I was looking for advice on life after.” Confidence is key in a town like Hollywood. Just look at Sally Kirkland. She’s still top of the tops! Not one to let us forget that she’s boning Michael Fassbender, Alicia snuck in a reminder. The two are hella private with their love, but she wanted her man by her side when she did win that Oscar.
“That wasn’t even a question. It felt like the right thing. We wanted to sit next to each other, simple as that. We wouldn’t have gone there and not sat together.”
Young, successful, Oscar winner, dating one of the top dudes in the biz. We get it Alicia, your life is a damn dream. Just please, no more dresses from the Disney World costume shack.
Here’s Alicia and Matt Damon promoting that Jason Bourne movie in Australia earlier today.
Pics: Vogue, Splash