GOAT Serena Williams has never been in it for the money. In an interview on the sports finance video series Kneading Dough, she said, “I’ve actually never played for money — I just thought you would go out there and hold a trophy.” If she’s only in it for the trophies, then check and check! She has held more trophies than I have held dicks in my mouth (this is admittedly a modest number so maybe not the best analogy). But what about those actual checks? In the same interview, Serena tells a cute story about the time she tried to deposit her first ever million dollar check.
Serena Williams is famous and knocked up, and she would totally lose her status as a celebrity if she didn’t wear a hand bra and proudly stick out her pregnancy belly button in a photo shoot. So Serena and Annie Leibovitz worked together to do a 2017 reboot of Demi Moore’s naked and knocked up Vanity Fair cover (which was also shot by Annie) from 1991. It’s like as soon as a famous chick finds out a fetus is growing in her body, her publicist hands her Annie Leibovitz’s business card and a tutorial on how to bust out the perfect hand bra pose. I’m still waiting for a famous chick’s man to do a naked photo shoot while clutching his sympathy weight bump.
Inside Vanity Fair, Serena talks to Buzz Bissinger about how she met and fell in love with that Reddit dude and how she couldn’t believe she was pregnant and still can’t really believe it.
As if Madonna needed to physically show us how thirsty she is. We know, girl!
Every year, Madonna descends upon the Met Gala with more excitement than a clown who just snorted a line of crushed espresso beans. Last night was no different. Madonna showed up in Duck Dy-Nasty camo couture, swigging something from a canteen. Who cares what the theme was; Madonna wanted to do drunk Bass Pro Shops beauty pageant queen, and so that’s what Madonna is gonna do.
Of course, Madonna did disappoint a teeny tiny bit. I’m of course talking about the fact that her ass – arguably the Met Gala’s most frequent guest – was nowhere to be seen last night. Given the theme of her ensemble, she could have taken it further by letting her ass cheeks flop around behind her like two plucked mallards. Madonna’s look was done by Jeremy Scott for Moschino, so I blame him for that.
Serena Williams is having a baby with her fiancé, Reddit co-founder Alexis Onahian. I’m sure some in the tennis world responded by congratulating her or getting on the phone with Wilson and ordering a dozen or so custom-made infant-sized racquets with “future GOAT” printed on the handle. Romanian tennis champion Ilie Nastase acknowledged Serena’s big news by keeping true to his nickname and telling a nasty-ish joke about the baby growing inside her. Not surprisingly, Serena is not here for it.
Today’s theme is turning out to be: Sex and Tennis. Please let the theme continue! I really hope a locker room sex tape starring Feliciano Lopez and Fernando Verdasco leaks. (Yes, I had no idea who those two were until four seconds ago after Googling, “Who are the hottest tennis pieces?“)
Not that the possibility of being a child support check provider to an Instagram model was on his mind, but now it’s really not on Drake’s mind. Because Drake is too busy taking a crash-course training in how to be a birth coach and nanny now that his one-time boo is knocked up. As Beyonce grows the newest holy messiahs in her womb, Serena Williams is growing the future ruler of tennis in her body.
October was a busy month for Serena Williams. Not only did she get inducted into Taylor Swift’s club of famous friends, but it looks like she might also have gotten herself a new boyfriend. And the gentleman triggering Drake’s latest tear-stained jealous diary entry appears to be Nicole Sherzinger’s ex Lewis Hamilton.
The Daily Mail says that 35-year-old Serena and 31-year-old Lewis were first spotted acting couple-y last Sunday after he won the Formula 1 Mexican Grand Prix. Serena and Lewis held hands, which is Celebrity Sign Language for “We’re probably doing it.” The following day, Serena and Lewis were seen hanging out together at Heidi Klum’s Halloween party in New York. Sadly, they didn’t make it official by showing up in matching Joker/Harley Quinn costumes. Lewis did dress up as The Joker, but Heath Ledger’s version. Meanwhile, Serena dressed up as what most people look like when they try on a swimsuit at American Apparel.
— Page Six (@PageSix) November 2, 2016
Page Six has a few more details about their Halloween night. Serena and Lewis were reportedly seen “getting cozy” at 1 Oak after Heidi Klum’s party. A source says that they were “super flirty” and didn’t leave each other all night. Not even to go to the bathroom? That’s commitment to a new piece. Maybe that was part of the flirting. Serena would wink at Lewis and whisper “I have to pee, but I’m not going to, because I’ll miss you too much. Ooh, a smile – looks like you like that.” Then Lewis would reply: “No, it’s just the makeup. I’m actually very concerned about your bladder.”