The NYC premiere for Ocean’s 8 was held last night, and I know it would be appropriate to say Rihanna stole the show at a premiere for a heist movie. But that would be wrong. Rihanna looks like she doesn’t have to steal anything. She looks like the type of rich woman that walks into a jewelry store and the manager immediately whips out the keys to the most expensive diamond cases with cartoon “ka-ching” commission dollars in their eyes. All that’s missing is a white poodle named Miss Precious and a silk hanky placed on her theater seat by a butler named Alfred P. Snobworth.
I now understand why Rihanna might break up with her ultra-rich boyfriend; why be with someone who is merely worth billions when you can look like billions. In this case, I’m treating the essence of glamour as if it were USDs, and I believe I did an accurate conversion.
Here’s more of Rihanna and the rest of the Ocean’s 8 crowd, like Cate Blanchett who appears to be auditioning for a David Bowie tribute band, and Sarah Paulson giving you SAT-prep hi-liter realness.
Rihanna has been rumored to be grinding her ooh-na-nas on the gear shift of Saudi Toyota billionaire Hassan Jameel for about a year. But according to MediaTakeOut, Rihanna is no longer with Hassan. Poor Drake is no doubt kicking himself right now. If he weren’t so busy dodging an illegitimate son scandal, he could be working on the perfect way to swoop in and try to win back the love of his life. The bad news for Drake is that Rihanna might not be sad about her breakup.
Sources tell MTO that Rihanna has recently broken up with Hassan because she got bored. Some women might have revived their interest by dreaming of those sweet Toyota upgrades (mmmmm….on-the-house heated seats). But when Rihanna is bored, she’s bored, and doesn’t take long to leave. One source says:
“Of course Rihanna broke his heart. That’s what she does – break men’s hearts. Rihanna just got tired of him. She gets tired of men sometimes.”
That same source adds that it was a good relationship, and they were together for a while, but they’re over now.
Harper’s Bazaar points out that it’s not like Rihanna has a ton of time to dedicate to dating anyway. She’s in Ocean’s 8, which comes out on Friday, as well as running her lingerie line Savage x Fenty and her makeup company Fenty Beauty. I hope that as Rihanna patted her mouth to stifle a yawn on her way out of Hassan’s life, she left him with a little goodbye gift in the form of a dry cleaning gift certificate. Billionaire or not, getting all that liquid body shimmer out of fancy silk bed sheets can’t be easy, and it’s just a kind gesture.
The recently brow-less Rihanna isn’t one of those celebrities who feels like she needs to make nice with the journos. Or even the fans. She’ll speak her mind. Which is exactly what she did when an Access Hollywood hairspray model asked her a dumb question about the upcoming royal wedding (aka “Michael K’s Day Of International Mourning“).
Firstly, Ms. Fenty acted like she didn’t know Prince Harry was getting married in a week. Secondly, she met the guy once, you Access Hollywood dummy. No, she won’t go to your wedding. Her eleventy-third assistant in charge of opening snail mail would probably laugh at your invite and throw it out the castle window.
— Access (@accessonline) May 11, 2018
According to TMZ, a Rihanna fan recently tried to get close to her in several very illegal ways. Police sources says cops were called to her home in Los Angeles yesterday morning after being alerted by her assistant to a potential intruder that may have tampered with her security system. Once there, they found 26-year-old Eduardo Leon, who had apparently stayed the whole night. Eduardo was asked to leave the house, and he was tased by police while being detained (TMZ isn’t sure why there were tasers involved). It’s not known how he got in to Rihanna’s house, or if he tried to take anything while he was inside.
When one feud closes, another opens! Katy Perry must have realized her American Idol check is a one-and-done kind of deal and is eventually going to have to do a duets album to get back on the Top 40 because she sent a literal olive branch to Taylor Swift, and the Butterscotch Don seemed to bite and accept the peace offering. But someone who is not thrilled to be in the presence of Katy is Rihanna, as one report would have us believe those two have been sparring since around the time Katy was canoodling with Orlando Bloom. Continue reading
The Met Gala’s theme this year is Heavenly Bodies, so if those messes wanted to be 100% on theme, they’d wear a t-shirt with a picture of Idris Elba’s naked body on it (or a picture of a topless Bea Arthur). But instead they decided to cause my Catholic abuelita to pray for their blasphemous souls by doing themselves up in papal drag. Case in point: RiRi!