Even though that picture is beyond blurry, I can fully recognize the emotion Rihanna is feeling on the side of that ball pit. I know, RiRi, it’s just not fair that they’re never big enough for adults.
Drake and Rihanna haven’t been a thing since they broke up for the 1,385th time back in October. Only Drake’s diary knows how many times they’ve seen each other since then. But over the weekend, they attended the same child’s birthday party. Billboard says the moment was captured by a mutual friend’s Snapchat. That friend figured if Drake and Rihanna had to endure an afternoon of awkward tight smiles, the rest of us should have to suffer with them for at least 50 seconds.
— BallerAlert (@balleralert) April 10, 2017
I don’t know what’s more awkward for Rihanna: running into her ex, or seeing him crouched in a corner by himself at a kiddie party like a weirdo.
Those Snapchats never show us if Rihanna and Drake ended up talking to each other. I want to believe they didn’t, and that it was Rihanna’s choice to avoid his ass. Drake lives his life like it’s a goddamn romance novel, so you know it would have been only be a matter of time before he approached Rihanna with a piece of birthday cake and whispered something about how it’s not the sweetest thing at the party.
Last week’s episode of Girls ended with (semi-spoiler alert?) Rihanna’s Desperado, which told me that Lena Dunham must be a big fan on Rihanna’s. As it turns out, I grossly underestimated just how much of a RiRi stan she is. Lena Dunham posted a picture on Instagram of her latest tattoo. It’s no accident that Lena’s new tattoo might be giving you a flashback to Rihanna at the Grammys. Lena admits that she totally copied Rihanna’s homework on this one. Rihanna, just a heads up: maybe don’t post any personal ads looking for a roommate any time soon.
“Thank you @trinegrimm for my warrior’s chest plate/tit chandelier. This is my first original piece by a female tattoo artist and it felt sacred and cool and she didn’t chide me for copying @badgalriri’s placement.”
Lena Dunham is now one step closer to officially being ex-communicated from Taylor Swift’s friend squad. It specifically states in the squad charter that no member shall pledge their allegiance in any way, shape, or form to a popular female singer not named Taylor Swift.
Lena’s tattoo is an homage to Rihanna in more than just where it was placed. The top part of that tattoo kind of looks like a women’s college bathroom stall Sharpie drawing of a cooch. Which, in turn, makes the whole tattoo feel like a chandelier that might hang in the foyer of a fancy French strip club called Château du Vagin. I’d say Rihanna would approve. Although I think she would have approved more if Lena had gotten a portrait of Rihanna riding one of Lena’s nipples. Oh well, next time.
If Angelica Pickles took her Cynthia doll, pained that thing’s hair green with a marker and then dressed it up in outfits from Barbie and the Rockers, it would look like RiRi on the cover of Paper Magazine’s March issue. RiRi looks like she’s been spending way too much time with Adrien Brody’s Summer of Sam character.
Many people always say that RiRi can pull off absolutely anything. Like if you put her in CROC high heels, triple-pleated dad jeans, a bomber jacket made of Uggs and gave her a flat top mullet, people would still scream, “FASHUN!” But I think that Paper may have found something that RiRi can’t work and I’m talking about those Manic Panic spikes. I don’t know about that aloe vera head. She looks like a rejected Dragon Ball Z villain.
However, RiRi should wear this purple My Little Pony weave at all times, because she looks like she’s wondering what will today’s adventure be and that is the look!
There’s a thousand more pictures at Paper, and here’s some pictures of RiRi doing half-assed Poetic Justice drag in Paris last night.
During Adele’s tribute to George Michael at the Grammys, she stopped after the first verse of her slowed-down version of Fastlove, and said she had to do it right for him before staring over. Adele was taking that tribute performance very seriously. As it turns out, she was taking it seriously because the family of George Michael specifically wanted her to perform the tribute.
Former rapper turned professional troll Azealia Banks conjured up another ten dozen headlines with her name in ’em over the weekend when she went after another one of the popular kids. You gotta do what you gotta do to be relevant and Azealia did that by starting a fight with Rihanna. It led to the both of them leaking each other’s phone numbers.
Charlie Sheen has a direct-to-TV movie coming out soon called Mad Families, which I’ve learned isn’t a documentary about the people who receive his child support checks. It’s appropriate that Charlie is promoting a movie with the word “mad” in the title, because Charlie is still very mad at Rihanna for that time she wouldn’t wave him and his ex-fiancée Brett Rossi over to her table at a restaurant. He also had something to say about Jenny McCarthy, Selma Blair, and Jennifer Grey. You leave Baby out of this, Charlie!