Two grumpy old men got into a fist fight at Costco, and surprisingly it wasn’t over the last known Costco Café polish hotdog on earth. No, this fight was at everyone’s happy place, a place that keeps most of us coming back time and time again, a place that comforts us on our darkest of days. Yes, two old-timers desecrated the sanctity of the free sample line by having a full-on punching match during the free sample lunch rush.
Taylor Swift just managed to dispel my long-held belief that all her fans are 13-year-old girls. Sure, most of them are. But apparently there’s a 96-year-old pepaw out there who shakes his replacement hips to Shake It Off. And today he’s making all the other senior Swifty fans at Shady Pines jealous.
Mick Jagger has probably spent a giant chunk of his adult life wet humping and raw dog boning any and everything, so there may be Jagger spawn spread all over the world. That may explain why my Ancestry.com results revealed that I’ve got about 0.89% Jagger blood in me. But as far as we know, Mick was a dad to seven kids and now an eighth human gets to call him their father.
The faraway look on Claire Danes’ face in that picture above could either be because she just had a flashback to how orange she was at the Emmys last month or because the negative “I hate you” energy from standing between F. Murray Abraham and Mandy Patinkin is giving her a tension headache. Page Six says it’s the second one.
Seen above looking like he’s posing for the mug shot that was taken after he shot at a bunch of kids who really, really wouldn’t get off his lawn, Clint Eastwood did a joint interview with his hot piece son Scott Eastwood for Esquire and he said a bunch of Clint Eastwood type shit.
The next time The Rolling Stones do another big tour, the dressing rooms will be filled with more whining, slobbering and cries for a diaper change than usual. 69-year-old picked zombie Ronnie Wood welcomed a double bundle of baby into his life just a couple of months ago. And now, Mick Jagger’s 72-year-old baby-making parts are feeling real proud of themselves today, because they still got the stuff that can knock a trick up.