It’s been almost four long years since we first heard that Daryl Hannah and Neil Young replaced Meg Ryan and John “I Refuse To Drop The Cougar From His Name” Mellencamp as the IT couple of the blonde actress from the 80s (or 90s) and pepaw rocker set. Between then and now, my brain must’ve corroded even more, because I forgot these two were together. But not only are they still together, all signs point to them getting married over the weekend. I really need to get a subscription to Closer Weekly so I can stay up to date on the oldies.
Two grumpy old men got into a fist fight at Costco, and surprisingly it wasn’t over the last known Costco Café polish hotdog on earth. No, this fight was at everyone’s happy place, a place that keeps most of us coming back time and time again, a place that comforts us on our darkest of days. Yes, two old-timers desecrated the sanctity of the free sample line by having a full-on punching match during the free sample lunch rush.
Taylor Swift just managed to dispel my long-held belief that all her fans are 13-year-old girls. Sure, most of them are. But apparently there’s a 96-year-old pepaw out there who shakes his replacement hips to Shake It Off. And today he’s making all the other senior Swifty fans at Shady Pines jealous.
Mick Jagger has probably spent a giant chunk of his adult life wet humping and raw dog boning any and everything, so there may be Jagger spawn spread all over the world. That may explain why my Ancestry.com results revealed that I’ve got about 0.89% Jagger blood in me. But as far as we know, Mick was a dad to seven kids and now an eighth human gets to call him their father.
The faraway look on Claire Danes’ face in that picture above could either be because she just had a flashback to how orange she was at the Emmys last month or because the negative “I hate you” energy from standing between F. Murray Abraham and Mandy Patinkin is giving her a tension headache. Page Six says it’s the second one.
Seen above looking like he’s posing for the mug shot that was taken after he shot at a bunch of kids who really, really wouldn’t get off his lawn, Clint Eastwood did a joint interview with his hot piece son Scott Eastwood for Esquire and he said a bunch of Clint Eastwood type shit.