Kids today! Give a 7-year-old an iPad and wait a minute for all of the Amazon boxes to come a’rollin’ in! Parents are dumb, and kids are technologically savvy, it’s just a fact of life in the 21st century. Take Moroccan Cannon for instance. Moroccan’s mom, lactose-doused butterfly Mariah Carey, went on Jimmy Kimmel this week and provided yet another example of how kids today are hackers and could probably breach ALL of our data as long as it involved the Paw Patrol.
If Mariah Carey re-wrote the lyrics to Dionne Warwick’s song “That’s What Friends Are For,” her version would include this lyric:
And as far as I’m concerned
You should consider getting a new agent if they pitch you that trash American Idol
Mariah was on Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night to promote her new Las Vegas residency, The Butterfly Returns and was asked by Jimmy if it was true that she told her friend and current American Idol judge Lionel Richie to not do the show when he was offered it. Mariah had an awful time on Idol, fought with fellow judge Nicki Minaj, and said she’d never do it again. Mariah answered:
“If I didn’t, I should have.”
Mariah quickly apologized before pretending she had no idea that Lionel was a judge on American Idol, asking “Is it going well for him?“. Only Lionel can answer that question. But one thing is for sure: any future contestants hoping to audition with Mariah’s “Hero” will automatically be given a lyrics sheet to “If You Had My Love” by Jennifer Lopez.
Pic: ABC via YouTube
In a recent interview with The Guardian, Mariah Carey is, at turns, charismatic, humble and a diva. Whispers about her diva behaviors have surrounded her like a glittery cloud of butterfly farts her entire career, and some of her behavior made sense after she came out as having bipolar II disorder. In an attempt to dispel or confirm some of those rumors, the reporter asked Mariah what’s true and what’s made up. Like did she really ask for “20 white kittens and 100 white doves as a rider”? In true Mimi fashion, the answer is far from linear. Short answer: Mariah’s not a “cat lady“. But she does bathe in milk. I’ll get to that, but first, let’s set the stage.
According to Page Six, Mariah Carey recently sold the diamond engagement given to her two-and-a-half years ago by her then-fiancé James Packer. The ring, which looks like a drink coaster from Liberace’s house, was reportedly a 35-carat diamond worth about $10 million. Mariah got to keep the ring as part of her million-dollar breakup settlement with James. But it sounds like Mariah was more than happy to remove that engagement ring from her collection of jewels.
Mariah Carey Has Been Hit With Another Sexual Harassment Lawsuit Threat, And This One’s From Her Ex-Manager
Late last year, one Mariah Carey’s ex-bodyguards Michael Anello threatened to sue the unicorn one for almost $750,000 for not paying invoices and sexually harassing him by bouncing around him in see-through lingerie that exposed her Hello Titty nipples to him. That lawsuit hasn’t been filed yet, but Mimi’s lawyers got a new legal threat to deal with. Stella Bulochnikov used to be Mimi’s manager, and when she wasn’t allegedly causing everyone to hate her, she was orchestrating great career moves for Mimi, like that scripted turd of a reality show. Stella and Mimi broke up last year. At the time, the story went that Stella quit Mimi, because she couldn’t deal with Mimi acting an erratic mess (which was probably from her bipolar II disorder). But it turns out that Mimi quit Stella, and now Stella is threatening to sue for breach of contract and sexual harassment. Just like Michael Anello, Stella claims that the Elusive Chanteuse is elusive when it comes to covering up her parts around her employees.
Talking about your mental health issues with a therapist in a dimly lit, Philips Hue-glazed office (therapists DO have the best lighting) is hard enough, but Mariah Carey has decided to talk about her mental health issues with everyone in the new issue of People. Mimi says she’s on meds and is doing fine now, but for a while, she was in a bad, dark, scary place (a place scarier than a hostel). She says she was diagnosed with bipolar II disorder in 2001 after having a physical and mental meltdown. No need to Google, Mimi’s ice cream cart mental breakdown on TRL happened in 2001. And now everything makes sense.