Yodeling caroler of that one Christmas song your ear buds will be bleeding to until December 25, Mariah Carey, is catching flack after she posted a video of her kids, Moroccan and Monroe, being groomed to take over backups of said song. People aren’t only upset that “All I Want For Christmas” will carry over to the next generation, they are pissed because the 7-year-old twins weren’t wearing seatbelts in the car while singing.
Back in my gay formative years, when the other kids were getting confirmed down at the Baptist church, I was getting religion each afternoon at 4 when TRL was on MTV. One particularly legendary (read: trainwreck) of an afternoon came when Mariah Carey channeled the ice cream man-turned-Risky Business when she strolled into the studio with an ice cream cart, a men’s button down on, and a deer in the headlights look in her eyes. That was how the Glitter publicity tour began (and sadly, we later learned the dark truth that Mimi was going through it at the time).
The movie and soundtrack were panned and were known as the low point of her career until New Year’s Eve snatched that crown. Mariah has a new album out tomorrow, and her fans decided to add to her week by trying to make Glitter the best-selling album on iTunes. They were successful — color us all shocked! Justice for Glitter!
Despite looking very much like an expensive weapon, there are no American Music Awards currently being held as crime scene evidence today, awaiting testing to see whose DNA is in the body shimmer lifted by forensics. Both Mariah Carey and her longtime nemesis Jennifer Lopez both hit the stage at the AM’s last night, and there were no casualties caused by thrown awards, pulled hair, or shoes. Technically, the only real throw down was possibly Mariah vs. Singing Live, a battle the internet thinks she might have won.
The other day Kanye West took to Instagram to post multiple videos where he called out several people, including Canadian condom-hater, Drake, and accused-homosexual Tyson Beckford. Also on his hit-list was former Mariah Carey sugar-baby, Nick Cannon. Nick finally saw the videos Kanye posted and he has responded with some vlogs of his own. Continue reading
If you’ve known Mariah Carey more for her gowns, reality show and HSN clothing line than her singing lately, you aren’t the only one, dahhhhhling. Alas, that sporadic Butterfly residency or whatever it’s called in Vegas can’t survive solely on “We Belong Together” and a video homage to Glitter (oh who are we kidding – yes, it can!), so she’s coming out with a new album this fall. The not-lead single appetizer of a song “GTFO” had me squealing, “GTFO, is that really her?!” earlier this week at the promo art. Mimi finally released the music video today…yep, it’s her.
The song may be a half-snooze/half-Ariana Grande warble, but Mariah makes up for the hiccups by dressing like she’s advertising a girlfriend experience to would-be johns in Don Draper’s mid-century modern lair. The hair is teased, the boobs are perky, and it’s a chiffon-and-feather moment, dahling. It’s basically just Mimi traipsing and rolling around solo in her house and singing into a glass of wine. If I wanted that, I’d just shut my eyes and think about what I did last night!
I guess my biggest gripe is the house. Do I believe that Mariah traipses around her own home looking like she spent her afternoon bopping between the MAC counter, Frederick’s of Hollywood, and a free Veuve Clicquot tasting at the neighborhood liquor store? Yes. Do I believe said home is this low-budget Graceland with a tiled tub? Hell, naw! That being said…do I think this song will be salvaged by any given gay DJ with a little dubstep and mashing up with the new Ariana album just to be a catty ho? OH, hell yes. See y’all at the clurb!
Mariah Carey is finally getting her shit together and has got a new album coming out this year. While we have to wait until her first official single comes out, she’s just released a little teaser song called GTFO, which is not very ladylike at all. I guess Mimi’s finally over the unreliable billionaires, the backstabbing managers, and the menacing fish in her life. No more! Mimi has had it with all you motherfuckers, now get the fuck out!