As you may have known, back in 2014, Charlize Theron was allegedly approached by Tia Mowry while they waited to go into the spin torture chamber that is SoulCycle. Charlize allegedly was all, “Sister/Sister is gonna get Blister/Blistered by my knuckles if she don’t get up out my face!” (I’m paraphrasing…or am I?!) The whole thing turned into a competing form of cardio that doesn’t cost $34 a class, as we all raced around trying to see who was going to say what, or who was going to try and get the other blacklisted from hopping on a stationary bike and getting screamed at by a twink to the tune of a sick Reba McEntire remix for an hour.
Soul Cycle’s biggest bitch fight is usually when everyone takes the light weights and you’re stuck front row with the heavy shit, peddling to a Mandy Moore remix and thinking how you just want to clock Becky the trainer in the face if she tells you to crank the resistance up one more time. Well, in 2014, it turned into K.O. Sister, Sister vs. Atomic Blonde in the tabloids, as Tia Mowry snitched to InTouch that Charlize Theron would have sooner lit herself on fire with that $40 SoulCycle candle than talk to her. Three years later, E! reports Charlize is clapping back and saying that can’t be true, because she’s a damn Girl Scout at spin, thank you very much! Continue reading
Charlize Theron arrived to the Atomic Blonde premiere in Berlin last night, rocking a very expensive version of what Mary-Kay Letourneau wore back in the day while tutoring Vili Fualaau. People notes the Dior get-up is actually a white cotton “bralette” with a white leather mini skirt, complete with boning in the waist (teehee!).
The Atomic Blonde crew (pictured with Charlize are co-stars Til Schweiger and Sofia Boutella) went to Berlin, because the movie is apparently about all of the shifty crap that happened on the eve of the fall of the Berlin Wall. There’s really no better way to save West Germany than scaring off those repressed Soviets with your perky chi-chis and schnitzel!
The bra and mini skirt combo served as a reminder to all us lessers that Charlize is still hitting up Soul Cycle: with or without that Sister, Sister nobody!!!
Really? I never could have guessed from Tom Hardy looking very unimpressed while posing with Charlize Theron at the Cannes premiere. While promoting Mad Max: Fury Road last year, Charlize Theron candidly spoke about her working relationship with Tom Hardy, saying they “struggled” with each other. Charlize told Esquire that after they were done shooting, Tom gave her a painted portrait of herself with a note on the back that read: “You are an absolute nightmare, BUT you are also fucking awesome. I’ll kind of miss you.”
Zoe Kravitz, who played one of the five kidnapped wives in Mad Max, confirmed on Watch What Happens Live last night that the stories are true, and that they pretty much hated each other.
Apologies to those of you lovers of lady-on-lady action who are now dealing with a case of disappointed genitals because you only read a piece of that headline and thought this was going to be a post about Charlize Theron scissoring with Halle Berry.
It’s been about two years since Charlize Theron finally pulled herself out of the dickmatized haze she was in and broke up with barbecued Snausage of rage Sean Penn. OK! Magazine (via The Daily Mail) says that Charlize’s cooze has moved on to Gabriel Aubry, the hot blond model piece who was in a chunky shit storm of a fight over custody and child support with Halle Berry. That fight hit peak WRECK when Halle’s new man Olivier Martinez punched the pretty out of Gabriel on Thanksgiving. And now he may be wet humping on Charlize.
J. Harvey already posted pictures of some of the dudes at the NYC premiere of The Fate of the Furious, but my only reason for wanting to see that shit was also there working an A+ Madonna impersonation down to that snatched face.
Dior continues to be the Fighting The Hot grand champion of the fashion world. When they see a hot chick, they see a challenge to make her look as busted down and messy as possible. Charlize Theron has a contract with Dior so she wears them a lot. And at Saturday night’s F8 premiere, they made her look like a drunk schoolmarm who forgot to put her slip on while dressing for a really fancy funeral. That doesn’t look like an ensemble that’s supposed to be worn in real-life. That looks like a costume that Cher would wear if she played Ms. Frizzle.
And Charlize wearing that granny chonies and mock turtleneck disaster makes complete sense if you pretend she’s saying, “Bitch, I’m just wearing this for the check,” with her eyes.