Category: Charlize Theron

Open Post: Hosted By Charlize Theron As The “Cool” Teacher

July 18, 2017 / Posted by:

Charlize Theron arrived to the Atomic Blonde premiere in Berlin last night, rocking a very expensive version of what Mary-Kay Letourneau wore back in the day while tutoring Vili Fualaau. People notes the Dior get-up is actually a white cotton “bralette” with a white leather mini skirt, complete with boning in the waist (teehee!).

The Atomic Blonde crew (pictured with Charlize are co-stars Til Schweiger and Sofia Boutella) went to Berlin, because the movie is apparently about all of the shifty crap that happened on the eve of the fall of the Berlin Wall. There’s really no better way to save West Germany than scaring off those repressed Soviets with your perky chi-chis and schnitzel!

The bra and mini skirt combo served as a reminder to all us lessers that Charlize is still hitting up Soul Cycle: with or without that Sister, Sister nobody!!!

Pic: Wenn.com

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Zoe Kravitz Confirms Charlize Theron And Tom Hardy Didn’t Get Along On The Set of “Mad Max”

June 16, 2017 / Posted by:

Really? I never could have guessed from Tom Hardy looking very unimpressed while posing with Charlize Theron at the Cannes premiere. While promoting Mad Max: Fury Road last year, Charlize Theron candidly spoke about her working relationship with Tom Hardy, saying they “struggled” with each other. Charlize told Esquire that after they were done shooting, Tom gave her a painted portrait of herself with a note on the back that read: “You are an absolute nightmare, BUT you are also fucking awesome. I’ll kind of miss you.

Zoe Kravitz, who played one of the five kidnapped wives in Mad Max, confirmed on Watch What Happens Live last night that the stories are true, and that they pretty much hated each other.

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Charlize Theron Might Be Doing Halle Berry’s Ex 

June 15, 2017 / Posted by:

Apologies to those of you lovers of lady-on-lady action who are now dealing with a case of disappointed genitals because you only read a piece of that headline and thought this was going to be a post about Charlize Theron scissoring with Halle Berry.

It’s been about two years since Charlize Theron finally pulled herself out of the dickmatized haze she was in and broke up with barbecued Snausage of rage Sean Penn. OK! Magazine (via The Daily Mail) says that Charlize’s cooze has moved on to Gabriel Aubry, the hot blond model piece who was in a chunky shit storm of a fight over custody and child support with Halle Berry. That fight hit peak WRECK when Halle’s new man Olivier Martinez punched the pretty out of Gabriel on Thanksgiving. And now he may be wet humping on Charlize.

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Open Post: Hosted By Charlize Theron In Madonna Cosplay

April 10, 2017 / Posted by:

J. Harvey already posted pictures of some of the dudes at the NYC premiere of The Fate of the Furious, but my only reason for wanting to see that shit was also there working an A+ Madonna impersonation down to that snatched face.

Dior continues to be the Fighting The Hot grand champion of the fashion world. When they see a hot chick, they see a challenge to make her look as busted down and messy as possible. Charlize Theron has a contract with Dior so she wears them a lot. And at Saturday night’s F8 premiere, they made her look like a drunk schoolmarm who forgot to put her slip on while dressing for a really fancy funeral. That doesn’t look like an ensemble that’s supposed to be worn in real-life. That looks like a costume that Cher would wear if she played Ms. Frizzle.

And Charlize wearing that granny chonies and mock turtleneck disaster makes complete sense if you pretend she’s saying, “Bitch, I’m just wearing this for the check,” with her eyes.

Pics: Wenn.com

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Open Post: Hosted By The Ham And Cheese Sculpture Of Vin Diesel

April 4, 2017 / Posted by:

There’s a billion reasons for why it’s a shit time to be alive (see: any “serious” news site of your choice for many examples of that), but there’s a big reason for why it’s a glorious time to be alive. We’re currently living in the golden age of masterful food sculptures of celebrities. Last week, a food artiste unveiled their own Mona Lisa, a sculpture of a knocked up Beyoncé made entirely of cheese. Bri-oncé! And also last week, an engineer and YouTuber from Ventura, CA created the David of the food sculpture world: a ham and cheese sandwich that looks like Vin Diesel. Well, I was hoping for a ham and beef sculpture of The Hammaconda, but I guess I’ll take this.

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Dakota Johnson Went For The “Amish Bride On Her Wedding Night” Look

February 27, 2017 / Posted by:

During last night’s Oscars, Dakota Johnson presented with her Fifty Shades Duller co-star Jamie Dornan, and they did a hilarious bit where they pretended to have chemistry with each other. Clearly Dakota was afraid all the crotch-searing sexuality between her and Jamie would be too much for the audience to handle, and she dressed accordingly. And by accordingly, I mean she counter-balanced it by dressing in an unsexy satin nightgown situation that was made by Gucci.

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