Ah, babies. The perfect talking point. There will be no awkward or uncomfortable silences at Chrissy Teigen and John Legend’s holiday dinner tomorrow. The second someone begins a potentially bad conversation (“Here’s what the government doesn’t want you to know about chemtrails…“), Chrissy can just whip out a picture of her ultrasound. And if that fails, I guess they could just send the dog out in a turkey costume.
But I doubt it will get that bleak, because this baby news is still new enough to keep everyone interested.
Six months have passed since Miranda Kerr married Snapchat billionaire Evan Spiegel in a shamefully understated ceremony for a billionaire. Miranda and Evan admitted they were waiting to have sex with each other until after they were hitched. For anyone who needed confirmation that it actually happened, here you go: Miranda is pregnant.
Kim Kardashian has a lot of balls in the air right now. She’s got a smell coming out (KKW Crystal Gardenia), she’s got a shopping app in the works and on top of all that she’s got a human child growing in a surrogate that’s about to be born! Kim says they used a surrogate for their third, because she had medical issues with her first two, and she told Entertainment Tonight that deciding to use a surrogate for her latest product launch has turned out to be harder than she thought it would be.
Hot on the heels of the birth of his surrogate-carried twins, Cristiano Ronaldo’s fourth child has been born. I’m sure Cristiano was thrilled to be where the action was on the day of his latest child’s birth. But you know just a tiny part of his soul withered and died when they asked him to cover up his Ken doll hair situation with that deeply unsexy paper shower cap.
32-year-old Cristiano announced on Twitter that his 22-year-old girlfriend Georgina Rodriguez gave birth to a baby girl they named Alana Martina Ronaldo. Cristiano tweeted that mama and baby are doing well, and they’re all very happy. Yeah, especially Georgina. Cristiano isn’t just football rich; he’s got hush money money. In the event Georgina and Cristiano ever break up, she’s set for life. When she deposits her first child support check, the ATM will start flashing and shout: “GOAAAALLLLL.”
Baby Alana Martina joins Cristiano’s other kids, surrogate-carried 7-year-old son Cristiano Jr., and 5-month-old twins Eva and Mateo. Now Cristiano is but seven players away from his own football team. If he keeps at it, he’s going to have a whole team, plus substitutes, referees, and several ball boys by 2021.
Hollywood is currently in the middle of a big, uncomfortable, but completely necessary, conversation about workplace sexual harassment and assault. Alec Baldwin was honored at the Paley Center for Media last night, and he did a little talking of his own by coming straight out and exposing his own sexist skeletons. I don’t know if he was trying to get ahead of any possible accusations or what. But I’m sure your publicist thanks you for being so open, Alec.
I will do everything in my power not to make a My Name is Exhausted joke. People magazine says that 40-year-old Jaime Pressly is now the mother of two twin boys. Jaime announced her pregnancy in the summer and said that she and her 39-year-old boyfriend Hamzi Hijazi were expecting twins, but she didn’t do IVF to get pregnant. Well, surprise, sperm and eggs work in magical ways, and now she’s got two new babies that were born last week.