Archives: August 2016

Kanye West Found Another Way To Keep Poking At Taylor Swift

August 30, 2016 / Posted by:

If Kanye West’s recent semi-coherent ramble at the MTV VMAs is any indication, then Kanye West still has the mind of an ADHD hamster that just discovered what a mirror is. Since Kanye has an attention span of about 0.3 seconds, one would think he would have gotten bored of pulling at Taylor Swift’s metaphorical pigtails by now. But apparently Taylor is still someone he loves to talk about. He reminded us about their feud in his VMA speech, and he did it again backstage.

It’s Loin-Girding Time, Because Rick Perry Is Going To Thrust His Crotch On “Dancing With The Stars”

August 30, 2016 / Posted by:

Unfortunately, your eyeballs will not get to take in the sight of Anthony Weiner doing the Samba to Ludacris’ “Sexting” while wearing sequined Jockey chonies, because it looks like the producers of Dancing with the Desperates were unable to work their casting magic and get him at the last minute. Instead, the politician slot has been filled by gay-hating, corn dog deep throating champion Rick Perry, who was the Governor of Texas for a long time and ran for president a couple of times. Chris Christie is weeping on Donald Trump’s Made in China shirt-covered chichis, because he’s the governor with moves like no other.

This morning, ABC burped up the names of famous (and famous-ish-esque) messes who will dance for a check and compete for that mirror ball trophy. As expected, Ryan Lochte’s Damage Control Tour is taking him to DWTS and joining him and Rick Perry will be Amber Rose, Marcia Brady and Vanilla Ice. As a lover of fuckery, I cannot wait for this train wreck to hit my TV screen.

The Difficult Brown Allegedly Pulled A Gun On A Woman

August 30, 2016 / Posted by:

It may look like Chris Brown is throwing the peace sign, but he’s actually throwing a sign at the photographers that says, “You bitches better not even think of looking at me funny or I’ll poke both of your eyes out.” So yeah, we should just assume that all the photographers taking his picture were women.

The sky is blue, water is water, a Duggar is pregnant, we’re mourning the loss of another legend and Fist Brown has allegedly struck again. It’s just another day in the life of being alive in 2016. TMZ says that the SWAT Team and the LAPD are at Chateau de Fisty in Tarzana, CA., because a woman called 911 and claimed that he threatened her with a gun. That sounds about right.

Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 30, 2016 / Posted by:

Frozen Concentrated Orange Juice!

Frozen concentrated juice was HSOTD back in 2014, but it deserves to be honored again, because it may soon be a thing of the past. The Wall Street Journal delivered some childhood-killing news yesterday when they reported that the frozen concentrated orange juice market is circling the drain and frozen processed OJ may soon only live in our memories. Florida gave birth to frozen concentrated OJ in the 1940s and it was mostly produced for the military, because it’s easy to ship. My mom bought frozen concentrated juice through most of my young years, because it was easy and she could buy it in bulk on the cheap. Sadly, “RIP Frozen Concentrated Orange Juice” may soon be a headline that my fingers will have to type. NOOOOoooOOOOOOj!

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