Archives: August 2016

Night Crumbs

August 25, 2016 / Posted by:

You may have heard the completely real story about how Mimi’s fiancé tried to get her into the mood for fuck times by playing Beyonce’s Crazy In Love on his laptop and she got so mad that threw it out the window. That story would have been totally believable if the source said that Mimi summoned one of her minions by ringing a crystal bell and then ordered them to throw the laptop out of the window. I mean, Mimi doesn’t do hard labor, dahling! – Lainey Gossip 

Kim Richards isn’t going to jail – Reality Tea 

Elon Musk has been trying to spray his musk on Amber Heard for a long time – The Superficial 

Joshua Jackson and Ruth Wilson had a drink date that lasted 8 hours. Lightweights. They must have had to work the next day – Celebitchy

I got toxic chemical poisoning just from looking at these pictures – Drunken Stepfather

The trailer for the Gay Bachelor is out and it looks stupid, ridiculous and a waste of time. I can’t wait to watch every second of it – Towleroad

Jessica Alba tried to serve 80s Barbie hotness and she gives an A for effort! – Egotastic!

LeAnn Rimes’ luck dragon nip almost slipped out last night – WWTDD

Speaking of nips, Olivia Culpo’s look so virginal in all that white – The Nip Slip 

Jabba the Trump has every right to mouth shit out this dingle of dumb, because really, there’s no hotter celebrity than Scott BaioIDLYITW

Charlie Sheen is bored – SOW

What in biker dominatrix HELL is Bella Hadid wearing? – Popoholic

Oh please, like fish live in the sewer. The alligators ate them all – Hollywood Tuna

Sarah Paulson will probably be in Ocean’s 8 Just Jared

Teen Mom Jenelle is going to be a mom for the third time. Congratulations to CPS for the extra work load! – Starcasm

NOT BLAIR CRAMER #2! – HuffPo

Pic: Wenn.com

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Bitch Got Charged: The Ryan Lochte Edition

August 25, 2016 / Posted by:

CNN says that Brazilian authorities have officially charged Ryan Lochte with falsifying a police report, or as he probably calls it “over-exaggerating my tantics, bro.” Ryan’s partners in lie-telling all settled things with the cops in Rio. Gunnar Bentz and Jack Conger were allowed to fly back to the U.S. after they talked with the cops, and Jimmy Feigen (who could’ve been charged) paid a $10,800 donation to a charity to avoid getting charged. But since Ryan busted out of Brazil before the cops could question him more about the gas station robbery that wasn’t so much of a robbery, he hasn’t settled with them.

Britney Spears Doesn’t Want Anything To Do With Lifetime’s Biopic About Her

August 25, 2016 / Posted by:

There was much rejoicing yesterday after it was announced that the next legend to get Lifetime’s sloppy budget biopic treatment was Miss Britney Jean Spears. I was so happy, I ran to the corner store and christened the great news with a bottle of Tim Horton’s Iced Capp (they were all out of bottled Starbucks Frappucinno).

As it turns out, there was one person who wasn’t celebrating. No, not a jealous Christina Aguilera. It was Britney herself. Entertainment Weekly says that Britney’s rep released a statement saying that Britney doesn’t want anything to do with it “in any way, shape or form“, and that Lifetime doesn’t have her blessing. Kevin Federline, on the other hand, has no doubt sent them his blessing stapled to a current resume. “Yo, holla at ya boi KFed if you need a production assistant!

The last time Lifetime announced they were making a biopic about a Brittany, they received a lawsuit from Brittany Murphy’s daddy. Who knows if Britney will also send a lawsuit their way. I can picture Lifetime receiving it now. “What the…? Is this a brand-new men’s business suit? Oh Britney.

All of Lifetimes biopics have been unauthorized, so it’s not a surprise that Britney doesn’t want to be associated with it. But the best way for Britney to make sure her story gets told in a tasteful and accurate way is for her to make her own biopic. As much as I want to see Lifetime’s Britney, I want to see Britney’s Britney more. If Hollywood is listening, please please please give Britney Spears a $100 million budget and a director’s chair to make her own epic film. Forget another Ben-Hur, I want to see Brit-Ney.

Pic: Splash

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Frances Bean Cobain’s Estranged Husband Wants $300,000 A Year In Spousal Support

August 25, 2016 / Posted by:

Yeah, it’s apparently Gold Digger Day on Dlisted. But isn’t it always, really?

Frances Bean Cobain’s husband of 21 months Isaiah Silva, seen above looking like he mutters about “Helter Skelter” a lot, is already trying to keep a guitar that belonged to her dad Kurt Cobain, and now he’s put his gear in full gold digger mode and is going all the way. People reports that Isaiah filed court documents demanding that Frances Bean make out a $25,000 check to him every single month for spousal support. Isaiah is claiming that he needs all that money to take care of his 7-year-old daughter from another relationship, and that Frances Bean coldly abandoned them, leaving them with nothing! If Isaiah doesn’t sadly shuffle into the court room with dirt on his face while singing “Where Is Love?” from Oliver!, I will totally be disappointed in his game.

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Leslie Jones’ Hacking Situation Is Being Investigated By Homeland Security

August 25, 2016 / Posted by:

Yesterday a living skid mark (or living skid marks) had hacked Leslie Jones’ personal website and released a bunch of her personal information, as well as some racism. Shortly after it happened, I swung by Twitter and noticed two things. One, that the hashtag “#IStandWithLeslie” was trending. And two, that a lot of people were scratching their heads and wondering if the powers that be would track down who’s responsible. According to TMZ, both the FBI and Homeland Security have gotten involved.

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