Archives: August 2016

Who Worked It Better?

August 29, 2016 / Posted by:

I know it’s redundant of me to even ask, because we all know that Sue Ellen Mischke from Seinfeld has, is, and forever will always work the bra-under-a-blazer look the best. But Amber Rose is coming in a very close second. We all know that Amber Rose has a habit of bringing ten tons of jaw-dropping eleganza to the MTV VMAs. Sometimes she goes straight-up stripper, other times she keeps it a little more demure. This year she went tasteful and sophisticated with just a hint of “Oh, these?

We Are Now Living In A World Without Gene Wilder In It

August 29, 2016 / Posted by:

Yesterday 2016 took Juan Gabriel, and today we learn that it has taken another legend, Gene Wilder. At this point, everyone should take a carton of protein bars and a gallon jug of vodka to a cave and hibernate until it’s 2017. Because 2016 keeps finding the terrible ways to prove that it’s the worst. The producers of the Oscars are going to have to give the sad In Memoriam section its own 3-part series.

Gene Wilder’s nephew Jordan Walker-Pearlman confirmed the heart-hurting news to The Associated Press. Gene reunited with Gilda Radner in the after life on Sunday night when he died at his home in Stamford, Connecticut as a result of complications from Alzheimer’s Disease. He was 83. Jordan said in a statement to Variety that Gene was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s three years ago, but decided to keep it private because he didn’t want to disappoint any of his fans. 🙁

“We understand for all the emotional and physical challenges this situation presented we have been among the lucky ones — this illness-pirate, unlike in so many cases, never stole his ability to recognize those that were closest to him, nor took command of his central-gentle-life affirming core personality. The decision to wait until this time to disclose his condition wasn’t vanity, but more so that the countless young children that would smile or call out to him, ‘there’s Willy Wonka,’ would not have to be then exposed to an adult referencing illness or trouble and causing delight to travel to worry, disappointment or confusion. He simply couldn’t bear the idea of one less smile in the world.

He continued to enjoy art, music, and kissing with his leading lady of the last twenty-five years, Karen. He danced down a church aisle at a wedding as parent of the groom and ring bearer, held countless afternoon movie western marathons and delighted in the the company of beloved ones.”

Gene Wilder could never disappoint. The only way he’d disappoint is if he was okay with that CGI’d diarrhea puddle of a Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory remake, which he wasn’t.

On top of being the only Willy Wonka who matters, Gene was also in a bunch of other classics like Blazing Saddles, The Producers, Young Frankenstein, See No Evil, Hear No Evil, The Woman in Red, The Frisco Kid, Stir Crazy and Silver Streak. Mel Brooks tweeted this about his frequent golden-haired collaborator:

Rest in peace, Gene Wilder.

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Alicia Keys Went SANS FARDS(ish) Again Last Night

August 29, 2016 / Posted by:

MTV was really taking a risk by having everyone walk into the VMAs on a white carpet instead of a red one. It was an award show shot in HD, which means it wasn’t a shock to see some people strolling in with their faces covered in a 1/4 inch thick layer of foundation, concealer, powder, the shadow from 6 Morphe eye palettes, 18oz of lipstick, and an entire bottle of setting spray. There’s no way MTV would have gotten their damage deposit back if someone like Kim Kardashian were to trip and land face-first on that carpet. If Kim left a makeup imprint of her face on that carpet, you know the first thing she would have done was had it sent to her mom’s house with a note that said: “Possible $$$ opportunity. Call the rug from Aladdin and set up a camera.

Thankfully MTV didn’t have to worry about any of that when Alicia Keys hit the white carpet, because her face was au naturel….kind of.

Huma Abedin Dumped Anthony Weiner After He Got Caught Bringing Their Son Into His Sexting Adventures

August 29, 2016 / Posted by:

Anthony Weiner’s sexting ways may have finally gotten him fucked again, and not in the way he wanted.

Nothing good has come from Anthony Weiner sending dick pics to tricks. Sexting with chicks who weren’t his wife cost him his congressman gig in 2011. Weiner tried to bring his dead political career back to life when he ran for mayor of New York City in 2013, but he proved that he was already Mayor of DumbFuckVille when a sad and tragic peen pic he sent to another trick was leaked. Weiner’s wife Huma Abedin stuck with him through all of that. One would think that maybe the pile of dried dingles in Weiner’s head would produce a clue and he’d retire Carlos Danger and quit sexting with women not named Huma Abedin, but nope. Carlos Danger has once again been caught getting into some sext-a-holic antics, and this time Huma has had enough. She has left him and all it took was a crotch picture with their son in it. “Gross” doesn’t even begin to describe…

Calvin Harris Didn’t Thank Taylor Swift During His VMAs Acceptance Speech

August 29, 2016 / Posted by:

Former TSB (Taylor Swift Boyfriend) Calvin Harris won the MTV VMA for Best Male Video last night for “This Is What You Came For“, which is kind of funny, considering the video for “This Is What You Came For” is pretty much a glorified photoshoot starring Rihanna. Calvin couldn’t be there to accept his award in person because he was in the UK performing a show. Calvin did film an acceptance speech and he thanked everyone but a certain media-manipulating folk art doll, that is.

“Hold It In, Don’t Poot. Don’t Poot. Oops! I Pooted….Again”

August 29, 2016 / Posted by:

The last time Britney Spears performed at the MTV VMAs was during her Pink Wig Days in 2007 and her “sad stripper falling asleep against the pole in a truck stop bathroom at 9:30 on a weekday morning” performance left everyone with chunky layer of WTF on their faces. But with help from Daddy Spears’ cheese grits-covered ladle, Brit Brit has come a long way and made her triumphant return to the VMAs last night!

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