How you doin’? More like, what you thinking? Some of you lazy television show slobs working from home have been literally and figuratively phoning it in for weeks now, and it shows. That’s according to the effortlessly chic and stunning natural beauty Wendy Williams who had something to say about the lack of glamour on our screens right now. Glass houses, throw stones, etc….
That cover. I wonder how much RESTRAINT it took for the art director to not put Gwyneth’s head over the “O” in “COUNTRY.”
Super grounded everyday woman Gwyneth Paltrow is the cover girl for the May issue of Town & Country. The profile is, surprise surprise, a kiss-ass love letter to Goop and Goopy. Merry Christmas to us all!
The article, entitled “Gwyneth Paltrow Has the Last Laugh” delves into the “pioneer’s” new love of walking in LA (she invented it), how her “gilded” Upper East Side childhood was actually pretty normal, how the Goop Netflix series is unequivocally great TV, and how she’s definitely not “out of touch”. You see, Gwyneth is completely in on the joke. Which brings us to this very “in on the joke” quote from the “philosopher-queen” (!!!) herself. Continue reading
Don’t Ask Quentin Tarantino About How Little Screen Time Margot Robbie Gets In “Once Upon A Time In Hollywood”
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, which honestly should be a Cinderella reboot starring the Queen of Hollywood Angelyne, premiered at Cannes yesterday, where it got a 7-minute standing ovation. Although, it feels like at Cannes, audiences are either giving standing ovations or booing a bitch. The reviews for Quentin Tarantino’s take on the Manson murders are in, and the ones I’ve read are mostly positive, but do say that the gory and “provocative” ending will DIVIDE THE COUNTRY even more. Let me guess, Sharon Tate survives and brutally gets revenge. Kill Charlie!
No, that doesn’t happen, because it would mean that Margot Robbie, who plays Sharon Tate, gets plenty of screen time. But apparently, she doesn’t and barely has any lines compared to her co-stars Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio. At a press conference for the movie, QT was asked why Margot Robbie doesn’t talk much in the movie. And QT didn’t talk much while giving his response.
I assume most kids of famous people will probably grow up and use some of the dollars in their trust fund on therapy visits. Some more than others. (I can’t be the only one who hopes a certain family of Calabasas has put aside at least a couple million for their kids’ future kouncelling sessions). And then there’s Halle Berry.
Here we go again, Goopy Paltrow is talking about puss, but this time she’s talking about the brilliant sea aliens who are master escape artists. Goopy and Team Goop were having a conversation on Slack about L.A. restaurants when someone recommended the BBQ octopus at a place in Silver Lake. Goopy piped in and said that she’s done with eating octopus because they’re way too smart for humans to eat.
Seen above with Mickey Mouse who is definitely cursing his tiny black mouse balls, Ariana Grande declared that she loves giant black balls (but who doesn’t?) while hanging out with ginger hobbit Ed Sheeran at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show in London last week. While talking to Elvis Duran (via ONTD), the 4D Flat Stanley said that Ariana Grande told him that she loves big black balls and he thought the same thing we’re all thinking.
“It was fun, but I kind of felt like the hobbit in the elven kingdom! Can I tell you why I was laughing? Basically, there were all these big inflatable bouncy black balls that are bouncing around in the crowd on the finale bit. Ariana Grande comes and stands up next to me and just looks at me and goes, ‘I love big black balls.’ In my head I was like, ‘If she knows what that means, then I love her, and if she doesn’t know what that means, it’s even better!”
“Daughter?” said Pimp Mama Kris to Ariana Grande.
Ariana Grande looks like she was literally born yesterday, but she knows what she said. I mean, she’s dating Big Sean. If Big Sean’s huevos are as big as his dick, then his nuts are definitely big enough to take out the Indiana Jones boulder and Cisco Adler’s tether ball sack at the same time. No wonder Ariana always has a slightly pained look on her face. Chick is suffering from a concussion from getting tea bagged on the forehead.
Here’s Ariana serving up some Lolita moves at a taping for some Disney Christian special at Walt Disney World yesterday.