A Less Demonic Sonic Is Featured In The New “Sonic The Hedgehog” Trailer

November 12, 2019 / Posted by:

Sonic The Hedgehog was originally scheduled for a November 2019 release but Sonic’s appearance in the first trailer was so disturbing and wrong, it was chased off the internet and told not to come back until it had taken a long hard look in the mirror. Jeff Fowler, the movie’s director, took the note and delayed the release until February 14, 2020 so Sonic could get a digital makeover. It was kind of like that TV show The Swan, and America voted that Sonic was too ugly to live. Now that the bandages are off and the swelling has gone down, Sonic is ready for his closeup!

Here’s the trailer featuring the retooled Sonic. They also changed the featured song from Coolio’s Gangster’s Paradise to JJ Fad’s Supersonic, which makes so much more sense. It’s a little too late for those of us who saw the first version because, unfortunately, nightmares of being chased by an unspecified blue rodent with the hands of a human child and Joe Biden dentures, last a lifetime.

The new trailer received a warm welcome on Twitter. I had no idea so many people were invested in Sonic’s (mortal?) soul.

But of course, there are some people who aren’t too happy about what happened to Sonic. There’s plenty of chatter about a CONSPIRACY THEORY that original Sonic was purposefully abominable.

And the nihilists and misanthropes of the world just want the old demonic Sonic back.

With all this hullabaloo over what’s essentially a crappy kids movie based on a video game, I’m beginning to put a little more stock into those conspiracy theories.

Pic: YouTube

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