Category: Rich People Problems
The Twitter Board Is Adopting A “Poison Pill” Defense To Block Elon Musk’s Takeover
Everything I know about business and billionaires I learned through watching Succession and The Drop Out, both of which (coincidentally?) feature Alan Ruck. Unfortunately, this Ruck-centric financial knowledge is limited, so bear with me as I attempt to dive into the Elon Musk vs. Twitter mess.
Last week Elon Musk became Twitter’s majority shareholder when he bought 9% of shares in the company. A couple of days ago we learned that he’s being sued by Twitter shareholders for failing to disclose his 9% stake on time. Then, yesterday, Elon shocked the world by offering to buy Twitter for $43 billion in cash. He wants to transform it into a private company. A Musk-run Twitter would, allegedly, do better at serving the “social imperative” of free speech (“YAAAAAS” -Donald Trump). That brings us to today’s news: The Wall Street Journal reports that Twitter has adopted a “poison pill” plan in an attempt to block Elon’s dastardly hostile takeover.
Elon Musk Now Wants To Buy Twitter For $43 Billion In Cash
Elon Musk might have finally bested Jeff Bezos in the billionaire race to spend their billions in the most shamelessly self-serving way. A 4-minute trip to space that wastes tons of money and burns through an obscene amount of resources and fossil fuels? Ha! That’s nothing compared to the $43 billion Elon has pulled from his dorky velcro wallet and offered up to buy Twitter outright, by purchasing all the shares he doesn’t currently own. You know, I’m proud of Elon – he’s really leaning in hard to the whole “evil rich guy desperate for everyone to love him and even more desperate to prevent anyone from making fun of him” vibe. But slow down Elon, the self-awareness is almost too much!
Brad Pitt Is Suing Angelina Jolie Over The Sale Of Her Shares Of Château Miraval
Oooh, a rich people vineyard sale fight! You don’t see one of those every day. And this one is especially juicy (just like those wine grapes) because it comes with a side of sneaky shady sale accusations. One of the main points of contention in Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s acrimonious divorce has been their joint ownership of Château Miraval, the French estate that makes rosé and olive oil. Angelina was entitled to sell her shares, which were split 50-50 in 2013 between herself and Brad. Brad didn’t like that. He claimed that it was 60-40 when they got together and that’s how it should be divided for sale. A judge didn’t agree, and Angelina was given the a-ok to sell her 50% stake. Now Brad is trying to argue that he doesn’t agree with who she sold the shares to, and that the sale should be reversed immediately. And he’s decided to make all this known with a lawsuit that was recently filed against his ex-wife and former partner in vineyard ownership.
An NYC Socialite/Ex-Model Left Her Restaurateur Husband For Her Twin Sister’s Husband
It’s time to class things up around these parts with some high-society gossip via Page Six. And buckle your poor asses up, cuz this story’s got everything: TWINS, models, fashun, restaurateurs, betrayal, and talk of a possible Shania Twain-style husband switcheroo! Meet Charlotte Bonstrom, 50, a Swedish-born former model who’s married to Italian-born “celebrity restaurateur” Vittorio Assaf (owner of Serafina Restaurants). They’ve been together for more than twenty years and have two kids. Now meet Charlotte’s identical twin, Cecilia Bonstrom, also a former model, also 50 years old (go figure). Cecilia’s husband is Frenchman Thierry Gillier, founder of the fashion house Zadig & Voltaire (where Cecilia works as creative director). They got married in 2016 and have a 7-year-old son together, as well as three other kids from previous relationships.
Now that you’ve familiarized yourself with the people involved, here is the story: During the pandemic, Charlotte had an affair with Cecilia’s husband Thierry, and now the two cheaters want to get married. Cecilia is obviously devastated, and there’s a rumor going around that she’s going after Charlotte’s jilted husband Vittorio, as an act of revenge. And it’s Gemini season to boot!
Ryan Seacrest’s Wealthy Lifestyle Made Julianne Hough Uncomfortable
I don’t know which is a more embarrassing episode from Julianne Hough’s past, having dated Ryan Seacrest for three years, or the THAT Halloween costume. Either way, this Hough did both and on a recent Instagram Live appearance, she coyly addressed the former by talking about how she left a “very high profile relationship,” because the attendant yachts and such made her uncomfortable. No Ryan didn’t make her sleep in the hold with the rats, it’s just that Julienne felt she needed to earn the lifestyle on her own merits. So after she and Ryan broke up, she really got her Hough on. Come on. It’s Friday. I know it’s pronounced “huff,” but just let me have this. Please!