Well, there you have it. Fly costumes everywhere are sold out, and the #1 searched Google phrase is, “How do I make a fly costume for my tongue?” Because Christopher Meloni, whose hotness has set fire to more loins than a malfunctioning vibrator, has brought out his nipples and rock-hard ass cakes for a cover spread in Men’s Health. And during the interview for his cover story, Christopher Meloni joked that his ass cheeks can trap flies like a Venus Fly Trap. Well, if Christopher Meloni is ever looking to make a few more coins, he can launch a fleshlight mold of his ass that you hang on your patio to swallow up flies.
Prolific Open Post Host and Panty Creamer Hall of Famer, Jason Momoa, is back to put his fur-covered chichis on display for his millions upon millions of followers. And if your genitals don’t get slobbery at the sight of a topless Jason Momoa, you probably say, “What a thirsty trick!“, every time he posts new topless pics of himself. Well, he heard you, because this time he’s quenching his nipples’ thirst in a water show.
Sigh. Thick slab of man meat, Christopher Meloni, took to Twitter to share two pics of his “Quarantine Kilt”; including one sans shirt. Any other attention whore celeb? Eyeroll! But Christopher? Oh, sweet Christopher Meloni. He can do whatever the fuck he wants. The photo gets extra interesting when you’re armed with the knowledge that, traditionally, Scots don’t wear any underwear under their kilts. They just freeball it. I guess so they can feel the baltic wind on their muckle knobs. Continue reading
In case you were wondering: “Can 52-year-old Daniel Craig still cause the tingles?” the answer is here courtesy of whatever thirsty gay at GQ art directed this cover story. And to that gay I say: “Thank you.”
First off, hello, hello, hellooo! My name is Emily and I’m so excited to be one of the new Dlisted writers. I’m a comedian/writer in Toronto, originally from Cobourg, Ontario (shout out to the two deeply closeted teens from that small town shrieking in delight at the mention). I love statement eyebrows, my cat Bob Sacamano, loungin’, drinkin’, and loudly making fun of things. I’m also single, which segues seamlessly into this very horny post.
The Young Pope was one of my favorite shows of 2017, because it made me feel like I was high on edibles without having to actually be high on edibles. It also gave me many moments of Jude Law working glamorous ensembles that Beyonce, Gaga, Rihanna, and Madonna wish they could work with just as much hotness.
The follow-up to The Young Pope (they’re not calling it a sequel or second season) titled The New Pope doesn’t come out until later this year, and I’m already all the way in for two reasons: 1. Sharon Stone is in it. And 2. There will be a scene where Jude Law struts that ass in a pair of pristine white swim panties. Unlike that other pope, Jude Law looks like the kind of cool pope who will gladly let you kiss the ring, specifically the blessed cock ring. I see you heathen whores sticking out your tongue like you’re ready to accept that cummunion bread and let him bless you with his holiness. I know you tramps are used to being on your knees, but this time you need to get on your knees to pray for your own sinful soul!