The Young Pope was one of my favorite shows of 2017, because it made me feel like I was high on edibles without having to actually be high on edibles. It also gave me many moments of Jude Law working glamorous ensembles that Beyonce, Gaga, Rihanna, and Madonna wish they could work with just as much hotness.
The follow-up to The Young Pope (they’re not calling it a sequel or second season) titled The New Pope doesn’t come out until later this year, and I’m already all the way in for two reasons: 1. Sharon Stone is in it. And 2. There will be a scene where Jude Law struts that ass in a pair of pristine white swim panties. Unlike that other pope, Jude Law looks like the kind of cool pope who will gladly let you kiss the ring, specifically the blessed cock ring. I see you heathen whores sticking out your tongue like you’re ready to accept that cummunion bread and let him bless you with his holiness. I know you tramps are used to being on your knees, but this time you need to get on your knees to pray for your own sinful soul!
Like Jude Law’s natural hairline, the internet fell back today over these pictures of Jude Law delivering some “Is that your crucifix or are you just happy to see me?” bulge as he shot scenes in Venice, Italy. It wouldn’t be a scene from a Pope series if it wasn’t filled with some bizarre foolery, which is why Jude was joined by ladies in bikinis tossing balls over his head. This must be a dream sequence, or Jude Law is continuing to be the coolest pope of popes and this is what the new traditional Catholic mass looks like. If that’s the case, call me a born-again Catholic.
This is actually pretty conservative for the pope. I hear that when many popes go to the beach, they wear a white banana hugger with a rosary bead thong.
But seriously, I know we all just want to see Jude Law get those speedos wet, and God heard our pleas. But God is laughing, because you can’t see shit. Jude must be wearing four pairs of white speedos and a peen patch.
Jude Law on the set of The New Pope 3/4 pic.twitter.com/IIdMSCAtrF
— best of Law (@bestofjudelaw) April 9, 2019
Yes, I know there’s naked pics of Jude on the internet, but I still blew these pictures up to get a better look at his crucidix, and nothing. Strangely enough, I did see the face of Jesus who looked at me like, “Bitch, go to church, you need ME in your life.”