Category: Nick Cannon
Nick Cannon Has Added Another Baby To His Ever-Growing Child Army
Nick Cannon’s closest friends and family are probably turning their resignation letters into their employers today, because how can they hold down a full-time job when they constantly have to buy baby gifts and control their eyeballs during his many baby showers? That’s a full-time job in itself.
A few months ago, Nick Cannon threatened the world with more babies and said that his crotch weapon of mass creation was going to bust out more baby-making nuts. Nick kept his promise and his ninth child has entered the world, as his other children sigh to themselves since now they’ll have to split his All That residuals more ways. And soon, they’ll have to split that shit even more ways since two more Cannon babies are on their way.
Nick Cannon Is Expecting Yet Another Child
What the actual fuck ever happened to that vasectomy 41-year-old Nick Cannon claimed he had a consultation for?! Someone needs to stop this man from getting everyone in the neighborhood pregnant. It’s time for baby number 9, as Nick announced he and the mother of two of his other children, Brittany Bell, is pregnant with their third child. At least he’s circling back through Baby Mamas, but I guarantee you this man will crack a dozen babies and/or pregnancies by the end of the year. Maybe even a baker’s dozen!–I totally see him trying to squeeze in a few more fertilizations before 2023.
Nick Cannon’s Eighth Child Has Arrived (UPDATE)
It seems like just yesterday when Nick Cannon announced his powerful super sperm had invaded another woman’s ovaries and now it’s time to say “Hello!” to his latest child support check! Nick and model Bre Tiesi, have announced they’re both the proud parents of a bouncing baby boy born in June yet they just made the announcement yesterday. At this point, I think we all know Nick is on a one-man quest to repopulate the Earth, but if that means he has officially retired from making music or trying to host another talk show, I would much rather he do this instead. It seems to be his true life’s calling.
Nick Cannon Calls His Relationship Infrastructure “Consensual Non-Monogamy”
Most of us probably would be fine never hearing about what Nick Cannon’s unsheathed dick is up to again, but it seems like his goal these days is for his reproductive and courting habits to be the talk of the dinner table. Since his short-lived talk show is no longer, he’s taken to touring other platforms to remind us that he is very fertile and has sex with many women. This time, he explained that he doesn’t do monogamy (duh), he practices what he calls “consensual non-monogamy.” “Ohhhh that’s good!” cried Elon Musk and Tristan Thompson, in unison while high-fiving.
Nick Cannon Says We Should Expect More Babies From Him This Year
Guess who was lying about slowing down on the baby-making? That’s right, folks, Nick Cannon has confirmed that his dick is still putting in the leg-work and that we can most definitely expect more of his spawn to show up. And that sound you hear is Child Support Services beginning construction on The Nick Cannon Wing.
Nick Cannon Doesn’t Think The Mothers Of His Eight Children Need To Get Along
A list of Nick Cannon‘s children includes, but is not limited to: 10-year-old twins Monroe and Moroccan with his ex-wife Mariah Carey; 5-year-old son Golden “Sagon” and 1-year-old daughter Powerful Queen with Brittany Bell; and 9-month-old twins Zion Mixolydian and Zillion Heir with Abby De La Rosa. He also tragically lost his 5-month-old son, Zen–who he had with Alyssa Scott–to brain cancer last year. Nick also has another child on the way with Bre Ties. So there are five women who have procreated with Nick Cannon and he says that his children’s mothers don’t need to like each other because he’s all that matters.