Category: McDonald’s
A Vegan Man Is Suing Burger King For Cooking Their Impossible™ Whopper® On The Same Grill As Meat
Burger King describes its Impossible™ Whopper® as being “100% Whopper, 0% Beef.” And there’s a footnote on their website that says if you’re the kind of vegan who says to a vegan trick right before they give you a beej, “Listen, if you’ve eaten so much as a spoonful of Jell-O or licked the tip of a meat eater’s dick, let’s not do this, because I don’t need your tainted saliva passing into my peen slit and contaminating my vegan temple,” then you need to ask for your Impossible™ Whopper® to not be cooked on their grill. This is what it states on their website:
*For guests looking for a meat-free option, a non-broiler method of preparation is available upon request.
But either that footnote isn’t on menus in restaurants, or a vegan man didn’t read it, because now he’s using the legal system to come for a piece of the King’s booty. No, not that kind of booty! The King’s booty is all beef, and this man is strictly pickly (as in pickles, because they’re green, and aren’t meat. Oh shut up!).
Open Post: Hosted By The Three Bags Of Weed In A McDonald’s Sweet Tea
The Takeout reports that a man in South Carolina is lying, because he claims to have “found” three bags of weed in his sweet tea from McDonald’s. That part is fully believable to me, to be honest. The part which makes me raise a brow is he claims he got high from it. I mean, I’m pretty sure you can’t get high like that. I’ve tried.
McDonald’s CEO Steve Easterbrook Got Fired For Dating An Employee
McDonald’s announced yesterday that it dumped its CEO, Steve Easterbrook, for having a consensual relationship with another employee, which is a company violation. There is no word on who this employee is, but my guess is that it’s that purple sex monster Grimace. And somewhere, that diabolical Burger King is laughing with glee after hacking into Steve’s phone to get the McDick pics he sent his piece and forward them to McDonald’s Board.
Open Post: Hosted By The Triumphant (Temporary) Return Of The McRib
Get your pork-flavored soy (and whatever else they put in there) boners ready and lather yourself up in BBQ sauce-flavored corn syrup, because tomorrow October 9th is McRib day, the day when stomachs everywhere will spit out a “can’t read from the source file” error after trying to figure out what the hell a McRib is.
Open Post: Hosted By Two Dudes Going Through A McDonald’s Drive-Thru On An Air-Powered Couch
Two Salt Lake City YouTubers, Collin Randle and his friend Arcenio, built a mobilized couch contraption (which is basically a couch that moves up to 30 miles per hour) so they could live the dream of every introverted stoner and My 600-lb Life star by never having to actually leave their couch to pick up their fast food.
These two inventive knuckleheads drove through the streets of Salt Lake City and lived the American dream by stopping at a McDonald’s and ordering fast food deliciousness from their couch.
Open Post: Hosted By McDonald’s La-Z-Boy With A McFlurry Chiller In It
McDonald’s has been supplying the masses with their non-biodegradable food for at least one thousand years now, and although many would claim that their biggest contributions to society are obesity and the bubblegutsm, they also introduced a creamy frozen delight called a McFlurry. If you’ve never had one then you don’t know what you’re missing. Actually, yes you do because there really isn’t anything special about it. However, some people absolutely LOVE them, and since McDonald’s has always been masters of marketing they’ve decided that they will help one lucky person begin their journey to starring on My 600 Pound Life. McDonald’s is giving away (as in for free) a couch that comes fully equipped with a built in chiller to keep your McFlurry’s super cold.