McDonald’s has been supplying the masses with their non-biodegradable food for at least one thousand years now, and although many would claim that their biggest contributions to society are obesity and the bubblegutsm, they also introduced a creamy frozen delight called a McFlurry. If you’ve never had one then you don’t know what you’re missing. Actually, yes you do because there really isn’t anything special about it. However, some people absolutely LOVE them, and since McDonald’s has always been masters of marketing they’ve decided that they will help one lucky person begin their journey to starring on My 600 Pound Life. McDonald’s is giving away (as in for free) a couch that comes fully equipped with a built in chiller to keep your McFlurry’s super cold.
McDonald’s is teaming up with La-Z-Boy to make passing out with cold fries resting on your belly the new trend for 2019 with the new McDelivery Couch. No seriously, it’s called the McDelivery Couch and it is 100% the reason why most of us will have diabetes in about ten years.
Delish reports that in an attempt to capitalize on the Uber Eats trend, which McDonald’s uses to deliver their food, they figure why even leave the house when you can sit on your ass at home and have McDonald’s bring you whatever you want? As a matter of fact, the slogan for the McDelivery Couch is: Going Out Is Overrated. The couch sounds like the kind of thing I’d put in my Man Cave and never leave until the ass groove was so deep I’d be mooning China by the time I got up.
While the couch is designed for maximum relaxation—La-Z-Boy’s slogan is “Live Life Comfortably,” after all—the amenities make it so much more than your typical piece of furniture. It comes with light-up cupholders, adjustable seats, and a cozy branded blanket. It also includes built-in phone chargers for all food ordering purposes, La-Z-Boy’s stain-resistant fabric iClean, and McFlurry Chillers. Yes, you heard that right. The McDelivery couch has coolers built into the center consoles that are meant to keep your McFlurry at an optimal 33 degrees.
There’s going to be a lot of McShots poured into those McFlurry’s, because what’s a night in without some booze nearby? And if you’re interested in being McWasted in the comfort of your own home, the only way to enter is to head over to Twitter and tweet about which item from the McDonald’s menu would leave you comatose and happy in the McDelivery Couch using the hashtag #McDeliverySweepstakes. But you’ve all lost to me already, because even though you can enter at least once per day, you’ll have to best me. I’m about to create 100 different Twitter accounts and each handle is going to be some form of the words Pick Ben Now! Hey, I can pay my rent for a year by selling it to Britney Spears.