Open Post: Hosted By The Three Bags Of Weed In A McDonald’s Sweet Tea

November 8, 2019 / Posted by:

The Takeout reports that a man in South Carolina is lying, because he claims to have “found” three bags of weed in his sweet tea from McDonald’s. That part is fully believable to me, to be honest. The part which makes me raise a brow is he claims he got high from it. I mean, I’m pretty sure you can’t get high like that. I’ve tried.

24-year-old Parrish Brown from Charleston claims he ordered a sweet tea with “extra lemon“. Clearly that was the codeword of the day for the guy who slings weed while he’s on his 9-5 so that he can actually afford rent and things since he works at fucking McDonald’s. Well, Parrish picked up his tea with extra lemon except the “lemon” was three bags of weed.

He claims to have accidentally punctured a bag with the straw and so weed was floating around in his cup. How ground up was this weed? Was he just smashing his straw around in there? Parrish “didn’t recognize the flavor” and kept drinking “hoping that the tea would start to taste better.” 

He claims that when he finally gave up on the drink, he was “high as a kite.” His dad told him to narc on the McDonald’s, so he did and the police didn’t really believe him at first:

“I kept being like “I swear, there is weed in my sweet tea!” The officer asked me why I drank it and I was like, “Well, I was thirsty!”

That police officer is correct. And Parrish is full of shit, sorry. He couldn’t have gotten stoned unless he turned that McDonald’s cup into a bong and lit that weed up. This commenter knows:

“Tetrahydrocannabinol has to be decarboxylated before it’s psychoactive–usually with heat. Eating (or drinking) a bag o’ weed won’t get you “high as a kite”.  A stomach ache, yes.

I’d expect this to turn out to be a pitiful attempt to explain possession of three bags of weed by means of a story the teller is too dumb to know doesn’t make a hair of sense.”

Yeah! What happened was Parrish got stoned, his dad caught him, he lied about how, and now here we are. His dad needs to chill the fuck out and Parrish needs to stop narcing on his sources. And more than anything, someone needs to give me the address of this McDonald’s.

Pic: McDonald’s

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