Someone get an E! or an MTV camera crew up to Long Island, STAT! Dina Lohan and Kate Major–both exes of Michael Lohan–are now full-on living together. If that ain’t the messiest, most morally-bankrupt reality-television series waiting to happen, I don’t know what is!
Apparently Kate Major needs to be a writer on How To Get Away With Murder because she’s allegedly trying to frame Michael Lohan for assaulting her. Michael was arrested for the millionth time for allegedly choking Kate in Southampton, New York on Monday. She called the cops and he was taken to his second home, a jail cell. Well, now the plot thickens. Kate got caught allegedly drinking and driving in the Hamptons on Sunday, a day before Michael’s latest domestic abuse arrest. Michael is alleging that Kate made the whole assault up because he tipped the police off to her drinking and driving. So Kate got revenge. Hell hath no fury like a messy mess ready to spread the mess around.
Kate Major may have married into the Lohan family after becoming half of an unholy union with Michael Lohan, but it’s like she was destined to be a part of their messy, messy bloodline. The Blast is reporting that Kate got into some trouble again, this time with a bus driver.
I’m sorry everyone, the world’s most relevant and inspiring couple, Michael Lohan and Kate Major Lohan, have broken up. Tragic! Does true love even exist anymore? First Lil Xan and Noah Cyrus and now this? My heart just can’t take it.
The Blast is reporting that Kate filed papers in Florida yesterday to legally make her a divorcee, claiming that the four-year marriage was “irretrievably broken”. I think Michael Lohan has a few relationships in his life which can be described as “irretrievably broken”.
Kate Major landed herself in some hot Lohan-scented water (it smells like jail and clipped cigarettes) back in October for pulling her usual stunt: getting sloppy drunk and attacking an authority figure. This time the figure in question was a cop. In The Idiot’s Guide to Fucking Up they call this “El Clasico.”
Last we heard, Kate and Michael lost custody of their boys, 3-year-old Landon and 1-year-old Logan, and his mom Marilyn Lohan had flown to Florida and became their temporary guardian. According to TMZ, Kate got into some Lohan-level messiness on Saturday while dropping her sons off at Michael’s house in Florida. After Kate dropped the boys at their daddy’s house in Florida, Kate dropped herself off at a neighbor’s house for a drink. Sources say that when Kate left said neighbor’s house, she was as drunk as Dina Lohan after finding a Parent Trap residual check that fell behind the couch. Kate was about to get in her car and drive home, but Michael grabbed her keys and refused to let her drive. I’m sure you can already see where this is going.