Jackie Chan’s Estranged, Formally Homeless Daughter Married Her Girlfriend

In case you were wondering the answer is yes, ghosts can get married too. For proof, look no further than Etta Ng and Andi Autumn. Etta, Jackie Chan’s estranged daughter, and Andi, her pastel anime manic pixie dream older women, posted their Toronto nuptials live on the internet. Now they’ve shared their wedding with the world via Instagram.

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Jackie Chan’s Estranged Daughter Claims She’s Homeless Because Of Parental Homophobia

Jackie Chan’s estranged daughter Etta Ng and her girlfriend Andi Autumn claim they are homeless and have “pretty much slept under a bridge and other things” due to “homophobic parents“. Because of this tragic situation, Etta and Andi made a video and posted it to YouTube as a last ditch effort to get some help since everybody else has turned their back on them. And it’s a doozy!

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And Now For The Dudes Of The Oscars

We’re finally ending our never-ending Oscar coverage today and the best way to end it is with some man pieces who were probably suffocating in their nut-hugging pants and wanted to take it all off halfway through the show. They should’ve. It would’ve made that mess a hundred million times better and awakened all my senses.

My best dressed chick of the Oscars is definitely Charlize Theron, because with that ponytail, casual diamond earrings and daytime gold la-may gown, she was done up like Alexis Carrington making a quick trip to the supermarket. It was very daytime casual Dynasty. And my best dressed dude is definitely Ryan Gosling, who looks like he reeks of Jovan Musk oil and is about to pick you up in his dad’s gold two-tone Lincoln Continental Mark V to take you to the senior prom where he’s going to feel you up while slow dancing to The Closer I Get To You. And he’s definitely the one who spiked the punch.

Ryan wore Gucci (duh) and I couldn’t tell if those were actual ruffles or trompe l’oeil ruffles (Side note: I don’t do drag, but if I ever did, I’ve got dibs on the name Tramp Louie Ruffles.) And then there’s the smooth rat Pharrell, who dressed like a maître d at an underground restaurant that only serves virgin blood and is owned by Kunty Karl. There’s a reason why Pharrell looks like that. He’s wearing Chanel.

And here’s a million more pictures of the dudes from the Oscars. Come for Mahershala Ali and come again for hot piece of wood Jamie Dornan.

Pics: Wenn.com, Splash

Jackie Chan Finally Has An Oscar

The 8th Annual Governors Awards were held in Hollywood on Saturday night. The Governors Awards are the special, smaller Academy Award ceremony that are usually held in November to present honorary Oscars, like the one Angelina Jolie got for being a saint. Among this year’s honorary Oscar recipients was high-energy indestructible action film legend Jackie Chan. That’s right, Jackie Chan got an Oscar for being Jackie Chan.

62-year-old Jackie Chan is an acting monster. He started acting when he was 5 and has been in more than 200 films. Jackie has won a ton of Chinese film awards over the span of his career, but he’s never been nominated for an Academy Award. Although I’m sure if the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences had created a category for Best Actor Able to Look Charming While Taking Repeated Hits to The Body, Jackie would be neck-and-neck in Oscar nominations with Meryl Streep. Since that category doesn’t exist, I guess the second best way to pay tribute to his career is by giving him an honorary Oscar.

Jackie’s fellow 2016 Governors Award recipients included film editor Anne V. Coates, casting director Lynn Stalmaster, and filmmaker Frederick Wiseman. Jackie was presented his award by Tom Hanks, Michelle Yeoh, and Chris Tucker. I was hoping to read that Jackie Chan accepted his award by crashing through a skylight, back-flipping his way across the stage, and grabbing it from Chris Tucker’s hand with his teeth, but it looks like he accepted it normally. Here’s Jackie’s thank-you speech.

An added bonus to having an Oscar in his trophy cabinet: it can double as a splint the next time he shatters one of bones during an on-set stunt. It’s the perfect size to hold a busted femur in place and keep going!

Pic: Splash

Why Is Will Smith Kissing Erykah Badu?

No, no, that’s not Erykah Badu. Jada Pinkett Smith is going to beat me with her strap-on for that one! It’s Jaden Smith and his father Will sharing a tender moment during a press conference for The Karate Kid in Berlin.

This reminds me of when I was in junior high school and tried to grow out a glorious fro like Jaden’s, but it ended up looking like Annie after getting tasered in the head. It was nothing like Jaden’s. It was like a misshapen tumbleweed of sadness on top of my head. The asshole kids in my school called me Sidehomo Bob even long after I shaved that mess.