Category: I’m Happy For You
Open Post: Hosted By Lea Michele Once Again Saying That She’s Happy That Beanie Feldstein Got “Funny Girl”
After news broke that Funny Girl will make its return to Broadway and Beanie Feldstein will play the titular girl, the internet made sure to blow up perpetual theater kid Lea Michele’s phone with notifications. However, instead of sending congratulatory flowers laced with bird flu like we would expect the true villain of Glee to do, Lea just shared a happy comment on Beanie’s Instagram post. “Yes! YOU are the greatest star! This is going to be epic!” she presumably typed through gritted teeth
Now a few weeks have passed and guess what? Lea is still totally super happy about Beanie getting the role! It’s absolutely fine, everyone! We can stop asking! We didn’t ask? Oh. Anyway, Lea spoke about the news in a podcast.
Lea Michele Is Very Happy That Beanie Feldstein Will Be In The Revival Of “Funny Girl”
Last week we learned that actress and famous sibling Beanie Feldstein would play Fannie Brice in the first-ever Broadway revival of Funny Girl. That sentence alone could be the sole reason for Lea Michele’s Joker-style origin story, but according to many allegations from the past, Lea’s role as the villain began long before Beanie landed Funny Girl. Lea has been living a life inspired by Barbra for a long time, and I’m sure we’d all totally accept it if Lea’s official response to this news was a 60-second rage scream. But it’s not! Lea went ahead and personally congratulated Beanie on Instagram.
Cheryl Hines Married A Kennedy This Weekend
UsWeekly says that on Saturday afternoon, Larry’s ex-wife from Curb Your Enthusiasm (or that hot ho Dallas Royce from Suburgatory) Cheryl Hines became every basic bitches dream by marrying into American royalty when she wed her boyfriend of 2-and-a-half years Robert F. Kennedy Jr. at the Kennedy Compound in Hyannisport. Cut to Taylor Swift weeping sad tears into a pile of high-waisted retro bikini bottoms because a showbiz blonde married into the Kennedy family and it wasn’t her. Don’t worry Taylor, there are plenty of Kennedys left (there are so many damn Kennedys).
Cheryl, who looks like she walked down the aisle in mid-90s prom hair and a wedding dress covered in Orbitz bubbles, was joined by 300 guests, which included all those damn Kennedys, Larry David, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Kevin Nealon, Elton from Clueless, Ed Begley Jr., and Natasha Bedingfield. The only person missing was Susie Essman, but she probably couldn’t make it to that carwash cunt’s wedding because she had a dental appointment. This is Cheryl’s second marriage and RFK Jr.’s third.
Weddings bring out the weepy-eyed pre-menopausal aunt in me, so I’m very happy that two rich people managed to find love. But RFK Jr. is allegedly a Joey Greco-level cheater, which means there’s a pretty good chance Cheryl will someday stroll past Grey Gardens and catch Robert fucking his side piece in a dusty pile of old fur coats. What I’m saying is, I wish Cheryl and Robert nothing but the best and many years of happiness and bla bla bla, but I really hope she didn’t sign a pre-nup. Get that Kennedy cash, bitch!
Pics: Fame Flynet, Wenn.com
After Being Snubbed From The 100 Most Influential Issue, Laverne Cox Gets Her Own TIME Cover
When TIME Magazine put a sullen malnourished afghan hound on the cover of their 100 Most Influential People, it was very clear they had scraped the bottom of the basic barrel and were in desperate need of some BIC glamour. So it was a unanimous decision that they give this week’s cover to the hottest bitch on Orange Is The New Black. Sadly, the eyeliner teardrop on Flaca’s face was unavailable, so they went with their second choice, Laverne Cox.
Laverne landed her own cover just weeks after the people of the internet hit send on thousands of emails demanding an explanation FOR WHY Laverne was so rudely excluded from TIME’s Influential issue, despite being the #5 pick in an online poll of this year’s most influential people. Nobody from TIME really said much, except for today, when a spokesperson for TIME told BuzzFeed that Laverne’s cover story had been in the works for months. And I can see why they’d want to keep this all very hush-hush; this week’s issue of TIME Magazine is a groundbreaking one. For the first time in history, someone has managed to wear a Hervé Léger bandage dress without looking like a day-shift hooker from Reno. NO! It’s because Laverne Cox is the first transgender person to ever grace the cover of TIME Magazine. I also believe she’s the first person to serve so much damn FACE as well (sorry Tommy Girl, sashay away).
The only thing I don’t understand is why they made her pose as if someone caught her on her way to the bathroom. Do they not give pee-pee breaks on a TIME Magazine shoot? Regardless, aside from giving me shades of a Detrol commercial, it’s impossible for her not to look hot. TIME could have denied her a pee-pee break AND put her in a pair of maxi-pad shower shoes, and Beyoncé would still be leaving angry voicemails demanding a re-shoot and the name of Laverne’s wig person.
Bruce Jenner Might Be Kwitting Keeping Up With The Kardashians!
I’m reporting this news to you from the emergency room at Mercy General Hospital, because after learning from TMZ that Mah Boo Brucie might be leaving Keeping Up With The Koven of Kosmetically-Altered Kronies, I blew out my vocal cords screaming YAAAASSSS and suffered instant dehydration when all the water vacated my body through my tear ducts. I have literally never been happier in my life; sorry, future baby or footlong sub, but you’ll always be second-best to this:
Sources connected to both the Kardashian family and the production tell TMZ … Bruce will NOT come back for another season of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” if the network picks it up. The family is currently shooting the last installment of the series … and even if it gets renewed we’re told Bruce wants out.
Bruce now reluctantly takes part in the show … but only when it’s absolutely necessary. Whenever possible he’ll shoot his scenes in Malibu — where he now lives.
We’re told Bruce has a clear vision of his life as soon as the season ends … golfing, spending time with his kids — off camera — flying helicopters and riding motorcycles.
Of course, Pimp Mama Kris is denying that one of her minions is defecting to a life free of shamelessly sucking off Satan for fame. If she thinks we believe that bullshit, then clearly working that pole caused too much Botox to rush to her brain.
And what’s this about Bruce wanting to fly helicopters and ride motorcycles? Excuse your ignorance; clearly this source doesn’t know Bruce as well as they think they do. Once Bruce is officially free from those evil hags, his days will be spent turning down marriage proposals from Saudi princes, holding hourly fashion shows by the pool, brushing his hair 1,000,000 strokes (only chumps like Marcia Brady stop at 1,000), and choreographing dances to Destiny’s Child in the garage. And maybe if he starts to miss Hollywood juuuust a bit, he could record a Welcome to My Home video (I just crossed my fingers so tightly, I broke them all off).
Just as a reminder of what Bruce is leaving behind (and NEVAH looking back), here’s Kim shooting Keeping Up With The Koven with Ciara. I don’t know what’s going on with Kim’s hair, but Blanket Jackson does, and he’s not thrilled about that useless cum-dipped bridge troll stealing his look.
(Pics: Splash)
Sarah Silverman Is Letting Michael Sheen Get Familiar With Her Vaaagiiiiina
Drop what you’re doing, run to the bedroom and throw on your most classy peignoir, because you’re going to want to look alagant as hayull when you drop dead from the shocking news that TWO PEOPLE OF THE SAME AGE ARE DATING IN HOLLYWOOD. I know: I’m dying. I’m dead. I’m corpsed right up over this.
Us Weekly are confirming that Sarah Silverman and Michael Sheen (from lots of stuff you know, but mostly as Wesley Snipes from 30 Rock) will be spending Valentine’s Day eating spaghetti like Lady and the Tramp because they are officially boyfriend and girlfriend. A source claims the two were recently “making out at Soho House” adding that they were “all over each other for a lot of the night.” Thank you, unnamed source, for not using the term “sensual kisses“; your muffin basket is in the mail. This isn’t the first time they were spotted (don’t fucking say it, Allison) canoodling; earlier in the month, Michael arrived at his birthday party with Sarah, and left together, with Sarah loading all of Michael Sheen’s birthday presents into the trunk of her car. Presents in the trunk? RELATIONSHIP: CONFIRMED.
Normally I try not to get too excited about new couples (I’m saving my excitement energy for the inevitable announcement that Reza from Shahs of Sunset popped the question to a giant, come-to-life tube of moustache wax) but I’m slow-clapping for these two. Michael Sheen is 45 and Sarah is 43 (which in Hollywood years is 73) so it’s nice to see an actor date someone who’s knowledge of Nirvana isn’t limited to a crop-top from Forever 21. Plus, this means Michael’s peen is officially done with Rachel McAdams, who can FINALLY make the internet’s dreams come true by getting back together with Ryan Gosling.