Sarah Silverman Is Letting Michael Sheen Get Familiar With Her Vaaagiiiiina

February 12, 2014 / Posted by:

Drop what you’re doing, run to the bedroom and throw on your most classy peignoir, because you’re going to want to look alagant as hayull when you drop dead from the shocking news that TWO PEOPLE OF THE SAME AGE ARE DATING IN HOLLYWOOD. I know: I’m dying. I’m dead. I’m corpsed right up over this.

Us Weekly are confirming that Sarah Silverman and Michael Sheen (from lots of stuff you know, but mostly as Wesley Snipes from 30 Rock) will be spending Valentine’s Day eating spaghetti like Lady and the Tramp because they are officially boyfriend and girlfriend. A source claims the two were recently “making out at Soho House” adding that they were “all over each other for a lot of the night.” Thank you, unnamed source, for not using the term “sensual kisses“; your muffin basket is in the mail. This isn’t the first time they were spotted (don’t fucking say it, Allison) canoodling; earlier in the month, Michael arrived at his birthday party with Sarah, and left together, with Sarah loading all of Michael Sheen’s birthday presents into the trunk of her car. Presents in the trunk? RELATIONSHIP: CONFIRMED.

Normally I try not to get too excited about new couples (I’m saving my excitement energy for the inevitable announcement that Reza from Shahs of Sunset popped the question to a giant, come-to-life tube of moustache wax) but I’m slow-clapping for these two. Michael Sheen is 45 and Sarah is 43 (which in Hollywood years is 73) so it’s nice to see an actor date someone who’s knowledge of Nirvana isn’t limited to a crop-top from Forever 21. Plus, this means Michael’s peen is officially done with Rachel McAdams, who can FINALLY make the internet’s dreams come true by getting back together with Ryan Gosling.

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