Cheryl Hines Married A Kennedy This Weekend

August 3, 2014 / Posted by:

UsWeekly says that on Saturday afternoon, Larry’s ex-wife from Curb Your Enthusiasm (or that hot ho Dallas Royce from SuburgatoryCheryl Hines became every basic bitches dream by marrying into American royalty when she wed her boyfriend of 2-and-a-half years Robert F. Kennedy Jr. at the Kennedy Compound in Hyannisport. Cut to Taylor Swift weeping sad tears into a pile of high-waisted retro bikini bottoms because a showbiz blonde married into the Kennedy family and it wasn’t her. Don’t worry Taylor, there are plenty of Kennedys left (there are so many damn Kennedys).

Cheryl, who looks like she walked down the aisle in mid-90s prom hair and a wedding dress covered in Orbitz bubbles, was joined by 300 guests, which included all those damn Kennedys, Larry David, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Kevin Nealon, Elton from Clueless, Ed Begley Jr., and Natasha Bedingfield. The only person missing was Susie Essman, but she probably couldn’t make it to that carwash cunt’s wedding because she had a dental appointment. This is Cheryl’s second marriage and RFK Jr.’s third.

Weddings bring out the weepy-eyed pre-menopausal aunt in me, so I’m very happy that two rich people managed to find love. But RFK Jr. is allegedly a Joey Greco-level cheater, which means there’s a pretty good chance Cheryl will someday stroll past Grey Gardens and catch Robert fucking his side piece in a dusty pile of old fur coats. What I’m saying is, I wish Cheryl and Robert nothing but the best and many years of happiness and bla bla bla, but I really hope she didn’t sign a pre-nup. Get that Kennedy cash, bitch!

Pics: Fame Flynet,

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