Gennifer Flowers Accepted Donald Trump’s Sorta-Invite To The 1st Presidential Debate

Deranged off-brand kreemsicle and Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump was obviously enraged by opponent Hillary Clinton inviting his arch-nemesis, billionaire Mark Cuban, to tomorrow night’s presidential debate. Mark will reportedly be sitting in the front row at Hofstra University. What was Donald’s response to this? He’s sort of invited one of her husband Bill Clinton’s more well-known mistresses, Gennifer Flowers, to sit in the front row as well. She accepted! Presidential Race 2016: Keeping It Classy©!

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Hillary Clinton Went On “Between Two Ferns”

Just like President Obama before her, Hillary Clinton appeared on Zach Galifianakis’ fake-ish/real-ish/definitely awkward talk show Between Two Ferns. Get that hipster millennial vote, Hil!

I’m not surprised that Hillary would appear on Between Two Ferns; she’s no stranger to popping up on funny stuff like SNL and Broad City. What I’m more surprised at is that Zach Galifianakis looks a whole lot more like Zach Galifianakis than the last time we saw him. That’s must be why Hillary is making that “Who dis?” face above. That, or she’s still trying to get to the bottom of the mystery of who had the audacity to sully her favorite blue boucle knit pantsuit jacket with a cheap piece of tape. “I know part of the charm is that it’s beyond low budget, but would it kill you to upgrade to coordinating lavaliers?”

Zach is known for getting really awkward during his interviews, but Zach’s interview with Hillary never got that uncomfortable. Maybe he figured it wasn’t worth it to go full-awkward with his presidential candidate interview. Even if he conducted the whole interview in nothing but a rubber Bill Clinton mask and cigars taped to his junk while Hillary sang a collection of angry Bernie Bro tweets while trying not to pass out, and it still wouldn’t be anywhere near as uncomfortable watching as Jimmy Fallon getting cutesy Donald Trump.

And since Hillary is continuing to go for that youth vote, I can’t wait to see her wearing a suit made of crushed-up Ritz crackers and shower drain hair clogs on The Eric Andre Show. 

Lots Of Famous People Went To Hillary Clinton’s Hollywood Fundraiser Yesterday

The last ballot I cast was in the election that saw Hottié McStud become Prime Minister of Canada, so I don’t get to vote in this one. But that doesn’t mean I don’t know what’s going on. I know one of the candidates is a dry Buffalo chicken tender in a suit. I know that the other one is Hillary Clinton. I also know that they’ve got to make a lot of money before the election, so they hold fundraisers. Yesterday, a fancy money-making lunch was held in honor of Hillary at the Los Angeles home of Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel.

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Open Post: Hosted By Hillary Clinton Doing The Macarena Incorrectly in 1996

20 years ago, Hillary Clinton was 48 going on 200 and her dance moves really gave her away. “The Macarena” was sweeping the the nation and the DNC even adopted it as its theme song. Nothing exhibits a political party’s intent to do right by the people like an irritating-as hell line dance to which the First Lady won’t even deign to learn the steps. Why not just go full tilt boogie and use “The Chicken Dance?”

Old Hillary let her coiffe down in those heady days of yore, huh? Maybe not down. She might have used a little less hairspray. Witness her clapping along with that yawning maw of a laugh as she slightly sways. The people around her obviously trained for this. They probably bought a Macacrena guide off of the TV and everything. Not Hillary “I’ll wing this fucker” Clinton. Has Kate McKinnon seen this treasure? (via EW)

Ok but the 1996 DNC was lit pic.twitter.com/nuHp1lBND8

— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) July 29, 2016

Okay, So Jane Fonda Saved That All-Celebrity “Fight Song” Video

Sure, dried drop of urethral pus Donald Trump mouth shat up another batshit crazy dingle today when he called for Russia to hack Hillary Clinton, but here at Dlisted, we only post about the most important political news, so here’s the video of a bunch of famous and famous-esque people singing Rachel Platten’s little-known, unheard pop single “Fight Song.”

Jabba the Trump had the USA Freedom Kids (whose manager is threatening to throw a lawsuit at the Trump campaign for violating an agreement) and Hillary Clinton has a bunch of celebrities singing “Fight Song” on the old set of The Branchy Bunch’s intro. The Los Angeles Times says that Elizabeth Banks put together as many pro-Hillary celebs as she could to sing in a video for the DNC. The likes of Aisha Tyler, Mandy Moore, Rob Reiner, Connie Britton, Kathy Najimy, Julie Bowen, Hana Mae Lee, America Ferrera, John Michael Higgins, Kristen Chenoweth, Idina Menzel, Billy Porter, Sia, Dollar Tree Victorian cameo Jaime King (who really, really took it seriously) and a bunch of others warbled out a cover of “Fight Song” that made my face contort into the cringe position. I cringed, cringed and cringed some more.

For the first minute, I thought to myself, “You all are NOT helping!”, but that all changed when the music stopped and Jane Fonda talk-sang for her life!

Leave it to Jane Fonda to save it all. But if you watched that video above, you know that Jane wasn’t the only one who really delivered. About 90 seconds in, Ellen Greene (aka Audrey from Little Shop of Horrors) popped up in impeccable Louise Brooks cosplay and delivered a stirring, raw and melodramatic re-telling of “Fight Song.” That is how it’s done.

God, I love theater people.

Things I Can Still Hear: The Scream That Meryl Streep Let Out Last Night

Yesterday was the second day of the Democratic National Convention, and out was Susan Sarandon looking like she’d rather felch a porcupine who just ate Taco Bell than listen to speakers throw out praise for Hillary Clinton. In was Meryl Streep squealing out a pro-Hillary battle cry of joy while double fisting the air and working one of her old patriotic looks.

Hillary Clinton officially became the first woman to be nominated for President of the United States by a major party yesterday, and her man Bill Clinton, and his Fashion Fair Perfect Finish® mug, were the headliners of the night. But before and after Ole’ Bubba’s speech, he had many opening acts and a few closing acts including Elizabeth Banks, America Ferrera, Alicia Keys, Lena Dunham, Debra Messing (who surprisingly didn’t put her taunting hands on the side of her head while saying, “Na na na na na na na, Susan!“, into the camera) and THEE MERYL STREEP!

Meryl followed Bill and when she took the podium, she let out the kind of scream-cry of happiness that I let out whenever the Henny Penny episode of The Golden Girls comes on the Hallmark Channel. As Meryl spoke, those flag poles in the back thought to themselves, “Of COURSE that shady Meryl Streep had to steal our look and work it better.”

Yes, Meryl Streep has been nominated for an Oscar 19 times, has starred in a zillion movies and is considered by many to be the greatest living actress (those many obviously haven’t seen Gina Gershon’s work in Showgirls), but the Republican National Convention had Scott Baio. And did Meryl Streep have a starring role in Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2? I think not. So, sorry, DNC, you tried it, but the RNC still won the category of STAR POWER!

And here’s Meryl Streep working her Catherine Malandrino American flag dress to a screening of Doubt in 2008.

Pics: Splash