Category: Hillary Clinton
Dave Chappelle Isn’t With Hillary, But He Also Didn’t Vote For Trump
Observer reported that Dave Chappelle performed an hour-long set at the Cutting Room in NYC on Friday night which reportedly consisted of him hatin’ on Hillary Clinton and lovin’ him some Donald Trump. Remember when Dave allegedly went insane and forced a commercial airliner to make an emergency landing? Me, too.
Open Post: Hosted By The Ruining Of “Dirty Dancing”
Since this has landed in my inbox and passed my eyes more than LinkedIn requests, here it is to obliterate your memory of Dirty Dancing too!
That shitty TV series from 1988 didn’t totally ruin the memory of Dirty Dancing. Neither did Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights, or that Dirty Dancing reality show, or the news about ABC’s remake starring Little Miss Sunshine. But this may have done it for me. The Dutch evil geniuses at LuckyTV did the devil’s work by mashing-up clips from the second presidential debate with (I’ve Had) The Time Of My Life, sung by Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes. The result is a demonic masterpiece that made me go from “hahahahaha” to “whygodwhy” in 10 seconds. This mash-up put in me in the corner where I silently weeped over how every time I watch Dirty Dancing I’m going to think of the dehydrated dog lipstick known as Donald Trump creepily serenading Hillary Clinton. That dude at the 1:25 mark who tries to get up but can’t is me while watching this video. I tried to escape it but the immense amount of fuckery kept me in my seat until the end:
https://youtu.be/jB2zoidUeLU
And let’s thank all the Gods that Lucky TV didn’t find a way to recreate the “Dirty Dancing” lift with Trump and Hillary. The sight of Jabba the Trump grabbing near her pussy area would put all of us in a coffin permanently.
I, for one, am in major need of a palate cleanser, so here’s one in the form of stunning pictures from the 1988 Grammys of Patrick Swayze and Liza Minnelli.
Pics: Getty
Hillary Clinton’s Campaign Manager Got An Email From Tom DeLonge About UFOs
Huh, I always sort of pictured Tom DeLonge as more of a “mail a manila envelope filled with alien sightings taken on an untraceable LG flip phone and printed out at the drugstore” type.
Tom DeLonge, former guitarist for Blink-182 and current UFO enthusiast, is really into educating people about unidentified flying objects. He’s so into it that he repeatedly tried to get someone close to Hillary Clinton involved in a conversation about flying saucers and aliens. Maybe Tom didn’t get the memo that Donald Trump is the one who lies awake at night worrying about aliens?
Hillary Clinton Feels Really Bad That Kim Kardashian Got Robbed
There are so many sides to be on in the Kim Kardashian Paris robbery story. You can be on Team She Deserved It For Being So Flashy like Karl Lagerfeld and Kim herself, or Team Did It Even Actually Happen Though? like others, or Team I Feel Bad For The Poor Fame Whore. Hillary Clinton is on that one. We’ve gotten to the point in this story where we’re asking a presidential candidate what they think about it.
Donald Trump Wants Everyone To Check Out Alicia Machado’s “Sex Tape”
I know, I’m really not right for not putting a “TRIGGER WARNING” above that close-up picture of Trump. Never forgive me that.
Early this morning, while many of us were in a deep sleep, dreaming about puppies, Alexander Skarsgard and Double-Doubles, Donald Trump was sitting straight up on the California King-sized tanning bed he sleeps in and orange grenade smoke shot out of his ears as he continued to rage over the Alicia Machado situation. Jabba the Trump grabbed his phone and used his roasted baby carrot fingers to furiously tweet more shit about Alicia Machado. Trump is staying bothered!
The Cast Of “Will & Grace” Probably Reunited To Take Down Donald Trump (UPDATE: They Did)
Over the weekend, Debra Messing, Eric McCormack, Sean Hayes and Megan Mullally stuck the tip into Will & Grace fans by teasing some kind of reunion. While sipping from a child-sized Belina juice box, I threw a side-eye at their little tease, because a Will & Grace reunion is one hundred percent incomplete without Rosario! But they reunited anyway and now we may know why.