Category: This Is Some Tooth Decay Shit

Open Post: Hosted By Newlyweds Gwen Stefani And Blake Shelton Being Sickening

July 18, 2021 / Posted by:

Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani got married over the July 4th weekend, which is the first eyeroll of note in this story, because you just know they’re going to take cringe-inducing selfies from here into the afterlife with their hand-holding, lip-puckered silhouettes against night skies filled with illegal fireworks and captioned with queasy, sugar-coated crap like, “Our 14th anniversary, and sparks are still flying!” You already have a sickening newlywed couple in your life like this, and you know this sticky, oozy mess is coming and that you’ll have to smash “like” on each post to keep the blasted peace with all your mutual friends.

The next “Jesus fuck, please stop before my eyes roll into traffic” moment (I think we’re at thirty revolutions already) comes to us from People, and it’s easily going to out-gross the annual fireworks barf-fest. Gwen and Blake were at Blake’s restaurant in Oklahoma, and brought their squooshy, so-in-love roadshow tableside. via People:

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