Tekashi 6ix9ine. Bill Cosby. R. Kelly. What do all of these stunning examples of human men have in common? They want out of prison early so they don’t go the way of convicted rapist Harvey Weinstein and catch coronavirus. Tekashi’s the only one who actually succeeded, but I guess that was enough to inspire the Fyre Festival con artist guy, Billy McFarland, to petition for an early release. Billy’s been serving his six-year sentence for wire fraud since the end of 2018.
The COVID-19 situation in prisons across America (and the rest of the world) is, admittedly, horrifying. Lawyers say 24 inmates and 14 staff members at Billy’s minimum-security Ohio facility have tested positive for coronavirus. It’s been reported that six inmates have died.
But it’s not not ironic that the guy who made people pay to sleep on wet mattresses in emergency tents with shitty food and no running water (remember, they had some bottled water) is the one complaining about poor living conditions. via Page Six:
According to The Wrap, McFarland’s lawyers petitioned New York Judge Naomi Reice Buchwald, claiming that McFarland, 28, suffers pre-existing medical conditions. These include asthma, being diagnosed “on the ‘extreme’ scale of the allergy spectrum for issues related to breathing and his cardiovascular system” and heart issues “he has experienced since his early 20s.”
Listen, there’s a chance that Billy actually suffers from these conditions, but, unfortunately for him, he’s the “boy who cried wolf” one too many times. Dude is a con artist. And even if he does have asthma, should every asthmatic prisoner in America be released? Ah, I see, just the ones with enough money to hire a team of high powered New York City lawyers.
Billy’s lawyers want him to be released to home confinement, which…well, isn’t that everybody in the world right now?
“Mr. McFarland is not a risk to the community nor a threat to public safety,” the letter reads. “The crime to which he pled guilty for was the non-violent financial crime of wire fraud. However, he is a low risk of recidivism for such financial crimes as he has explained that he has a supportive family that has attested to providing for his basic needs.”
Translation: “This former financial scammer definitely won’t scam anybody else because his mommy and daddy will pay for everything from now on. Let the non-violent young man go free!”
Earlier this month, Billy was trying to crowdfund money for “in-need inmates and their families who are affected by coronavirus.” Hmmm. An actual good deed? Or yet another financial scam? Too bad the inmates aren’t allowed to Instagram while in incarceration. Then they could post photos showing how Billy replaced all the prison phones with cheese sandwiches.