Category: Fast Food Love
Open Post: Hosted By The Bag Of 63-Year-Old McDonald’s Fries
We all have gross food stuffs we should probably throw away that we keep a little past the expiration date. A quick whiff will tell you if you can still chug that milk down or eat those Pei Wei leftovers. However, there are some food items that should be burnt in hell’s fire the moment you discover them in the back of the fridge. Such is the case with an order of McDonald’s fries that Rob and Grace Jones (no relation, unfortunately) discovered lurking behind their walls. Apparently, these particular fries were in the house for 63 years. There’s the 5-second rule and then there’s the 63-year rule!
Eminem Surprised People At The Opening Of His New Detroit Restaurant, Mom’s Spaghetti (Yes, Mom’s Spaghetti)
Because performing Lose Yourself at the Oscars last year wasn’t random enough, Eminem opened a new “fast-casual” restaurant in his hometown of Detroit called Mom’s Spaghetti. Eminem obviously got the name from a lyric he wrote for Lose Yourself about barfing up mom’s spaghetti before a rap show. So it’s a great name because Eminem’s puke is definitely what you want to think about before diving into his sketti. The grand opening for Eminem’s restaurant happened last night and he surprised some fans by showing up. Eminem mostly stayed behind the serving window and probably because then he’d be able to duck and get out of there if one of his scarier stans, who was just sentenced to probation, showed up.
Open Post: Hosted By The Most Hated Fast Food Chains In The World
When I was younger, I could roll into any fast-food chain after a night of drinking and slobber all over a greasy, lukewarm burger and No. 2 pencil-sized stiff cold-ass french fries until I eventually passed out with my joystick in my hand. My PlayStation joystick, ya pervs! Get your minds out of the gutter. And speaking of gutters, that’s where most fast food chains forged some of our most beloved meals, but not without consequences. Apparently, according to the number of tweets, KFC has risen to the top ranks of the most hated fast food franchise in the world. However, here in America, Domino’s Pizza is the most hated franchise in all the land.
Open Post: Hosted By A TikToker’s Pantry Full Of Fast Food That Never Expires
A TikToker recently posted a video of the pantry their nutritionist mother stocked full of fast food. But the gag is, it’s non-refrigerated and the fast food still never expires. It’s meant to scare people of the dangers of processed foods, but all I see is the best pantry ever for a zombie apocalypse.
Alton Brown Went On An Unhinged Twitter Rant About “Good Eats” For Election Stress
Anyone who’s ever seen Good Eats knows that Alton Brown’s refrigerator is usually filled with tidy Tupperware containers and various jars full of carefully crafted homemade food you’ll probably never get around to making yourself. However, according to The Wrap, NOT TODAY, SATAN! Today, like many of us, Alton is going on what I like to call a food rumspringa to get himself through this election.
McDonald’s CEO Steve Easterbrook Got Fired For Dating An Employee
McDonald’s announced yesterday that it dumped its CEO, Steve Easterbrook, for having a consensual relationship with another employee, which is a company violation. There is no word on who this employee is, but my guess is that it’s that purple sex monster Grimace. And somewhere, that diabolical Burger King is laughing with glee after hacking into Steve’s phone to get the McDick pics he sent his piece and forward them to McDonald’s Board.