Open Post: Hosted By The Bag Of 63-Year-Old McDonald’s Fries

We all have gross food stuffs we should probably throw away that we keep a little past the expiration date. A quick whiff will tell you if you can still chug that milk down or eat those Pei Wei leftovers. However, there are some food items that should be burnt in hell’s fire the moment you discover them in the back of the fridge. Such is the case with an order of McDonald’s fries that Rob and Grace Jones (no relation, unfortunately) discovered lurking behind their walls. Apparently, these particular fries were in the house for 63 years. There’s the 5-second rule and then there’s the 63-year rule!

The couple purchased a home a few years back and have been in the process of fixing it up. But like the start of a scary movie, they soon discovered something was amiss. To their shock, they unearthed a box of haunted French fries when renovating their kitchen and bathroom. The horror! People explains:

Earlier this month, while renovating the home’s kitchen and bathroom Rob came across something unexpected. He was removing a built-in toilet paper holder when he spotted what appeared to be a bundle of cloth.

“It was actually kind of hard to remove. I had to pull out some chisels and pliers really yank on it because it was stuck in like old plaster,” Rob told TODAY Food. “So as I was doing that, I [could] kind of see through one of the corners some sort of cloth or something in there.”

Because of his knowledge of true crime stories, he was nervous of what might be hidden behind the plaster and called in his wife into the room to join him.

That’s when the couple discovered two McDonald’s hamburger wrappers accompanied with a side of preserved French fries, TODAY reported.

“We just kind of assume whoever was building the house probably went there for lunch, and it fell in there or they did it on purpose,” Rob said.

The perplexed couple posted the prehistoric food on Reddit and managed to claim the top spot in the competition for the “oldest McDonald’s discovery in a wall” (I can’t explain what goes on in Reddit). In the meantime, Grace and Rob are keeping the fries safely inside of Tupperware container on top of the fridge. They plan to sell the fries if someone is willing to pay “the right price” for them. That’s the LAST thing you’re supposed to do when you find a cursed relic from years past! The bag features the ghost of an old McDonald’s mascot Speedee who was retired in 1962. As a certified ghost fry-ologist, I can affirm that this is Speedee’s revenge. He’s come to reclaim his spot after that bitch Ronald McDonald stepped in. Now that Speedee has been released from his suburban Illinois prison, Ronald better watch his back. We shouldn’t be surprised when we open the newspaper tomorrow and read that Ronald has mysteriously died after choking on an ancient fry!

Pic: Reddit