Real Housewives of New York City‘s very own cabaret crooner Luann De Lesseps was arrested two years ago for drunkenly attacking a cop in Palm Beach. She agreed to go to help to avoid some jail time. She was in rehab for all of three weeks before going back to singing (can you call it that?) while shimmying in glitter.
Luann was put on probation, and recently got caught violating her probation by admitting to drinking alcohol after one of her cabaret shows in Chicago. That probation violation almost made her the Roxie understudy in a jail house production of Chicago, but a judge took pity on her.
When Real Housewives Of New York City first began, it was douse in heaps of “Who da fuq these people think they are?” On the one hand, you had this humble, obvi-less-rich-than-the-rest aspiring baker with a penchant for sarcasm named Bethenny Frankel (*cue* “The Way We Were”)…but then you had odd ducks like then-still-a Countess Luann De Lesseps barking out etiquette orders at her kids and ginger terror Jill Zarin. Then there was/is Ramona and Mario Singer. Ramona and Mario spent half the time promoting their Jesus jewelry and the other half convincing everyone the only thing they did more than cardio and strength training was each other. In case you didn’t read the writing on the wall, they eventually divorced becase Mario had a wandering peen. Ramona has been thirsty for middle-aged D the last few RHONY seasons, but according to a recent report, she’s now back on Mario’s.
As those of you who cared enough to read this about last week know, Luann de Lesseps will serve absolutely no jail time for her messy arrest back in January. Because she is high-class royalty with connections in every industry in the world (AKA: a mildly well-known celebrity-type from Bravo), she was only sentenced to probation, rehab and a few measly community service hours.
Well now PageSix is telling us that Luann will be free to leave rehab and get back to the stage. After only three weeks, Luann is getting out. Andy Cohen is going to have to cancel that order of ‘Free Luann’ t-shirts. The Real Housewife took to Instagram to let all of her peasant followers know that New York’s minstrel of class and abundance would be once again taking the stage in her #CountessAndFriends cabaret show.
The most musically-talented Real Housewife to ever grace Andy Cohen’s rich white lady minstrel shows, Luann de Lesseps, isn’t going to do any hard time in the clink. Shocking. Congrats Luann, I don’t think you could have lasted in a women’s correctional. Those cheek bones may help you serve LEWKS in the New York social scene, but mama they woulda been serving YOU in lock up. Continue reading
You can normally time a Real Housewives Of New York City dinner party or reunion by the moments when every Duane Reade in Manhattan is out of Xanax. It’s that time of the year when all those shrieking banshees jockey to sit closest to Andy Cohen on the reunion couch and pick apart the healed scab of friendship just to hash out arguments that were settled over a year ago. This season has been kind of a snooze with the exception of Ex-Countless LuAnn de Lesseps really doing the franchise a favor by terrorizing the South Florida police AND dipping her toes in the cabaret singing circuit. Alas, because she’s focusing on her well-being (and avoiding questions about her own children are suing her ass), she checked herself into rehab again and will not be at the reunion. Continue reading
I guess my copy of Class With The Countess is missing the chapter saying it’s okay to bump uparts with a dude before his divorce is finalized. Ex-Countess LuAnn de Lesseps has bounced from Count Chocula (isn’t that how she got her title?) to a series of fellas, including one she was married to for just enough time to give her a central plotline on this season’s Real Housewives Of New York City. Now she’s rubbing up on a new fella, but – shocking – he isn’t exactly done with his marriage. Continue reading