The Ex-Countess Could Be Heading For The Slammer

January 25, 2018 / Posted by:

Class With The Countess could be revised to Clink With The Countess! Luann de Lesseps, titleless and twice-divorced, has been known more for her “Don’t be uncool” drunken antics as of late, but her latest run-in with the law could have her using the same line on a parole officer.

TMZ says Lu has been slapped with three charges for that whole Palm Beach fiasco around Christmas. She is charged with a felony for resisting arrest along with trespassing and disorderly intoxication. The felony could come with five years of jail time. I’m sure all her Real Housewives Of New York castmates are shaking in their heels upon learning you can go to jail for disorderly intoxication. There could be handcuffs at every reunion!

She was originally booked for four felonies after a maid found her in the wrong room at the Colonial hotel in Palm Beach. The cops had to be called, and Lu tried to slam a door on the face of one and then threatened to “fucking kill” another. That shit might go over well at a Ramona Singer dinner party, but the South Florida fuzz doesn’t fuck around, so they booked her ass.

It isn’t entirely doom and gloom for Lu. She could have been charged with two additional felony counts but wasn’t. And Page Six says a plea deal could be underway. Her lawyer, Doug Duncan, was in Florida Wednesday to represent her at a Thursday hearing, but that was quickly cancelled last night. Doug was also Tigers Woods’ lawyer and helped him cop a plea in his DUI case.

Either way, LuAnn is treading dangerous water. Andy Cohen may appreciate a hot mess, but he doesn’t like a legal liability. Just ask the short-lived, White House-crashing Real Housewives Of D.C. However, it could be good news for a certain ginger! I envision it going something along the lines of *cue dreary fadeout*….  In the foggy distance, amid a cawing crow, a mourning widow wiped away her tears, shuffled into her closet, and fetched a dusty apple behind a rack of eighteen Herve Leger bandage dresses. Jill Zarin glanced at herself in the mirror and cooed, “I’m back, bitches.”


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