Open Post: Hosted By Emma Roberts’ Tragic Lloyd Christmas Bangs

If you happen to see Emma Thompson, Emma Bunton, Emma Stone or any other famous Emma strolling into Lena Dunham’s hair salon (aka Superfuglycuts), immediately scream at their asses to think of their hair and to not do it. Because it seems like all of the famous Emmas are getting  their bangs butchered as they though they were a toddler whose drunk, lazy mom cut her hair with rusty pruning shears (or whose mom really hates her and wants her to get made fun of at school). First Emma Watson got baby bangs, and now Emma Roberts is out there looking like a Vulcan-ized white Cleopatra. Baby bangs: it’s an emmademic!

Emma’s on-and-off-again fiancé/boyfriend/whatever Evan Peters was nominated for Best Actor in a Movie/Miniseries (for American Horror Story: Cult) at last night’s Critics’ Choice Awards. Evan may have lost to Ewan McGregor for Fargo, but his fiancée/girlfriend/whatever unofficially won an award For Most Tragic Fringe Job thanks to that American Horror Story: Bangs shit terrorizing her forehead. Maybe Emma was feeling charitable last night and wanted to give her haters some easy ammunition by doing her hair like the Queen of the Trash People?

It’s obvious that Emma’s bangs are of the clip-on kind, and so I feel sorry for the bottomless hula girl doll whose grass skirt was stolen from her and slapped on Emma’s head. But if Emma really did do that to her hair for real, I shouldn’t make fun of her. I mean, it’s better that she’s fucking up her bangs instead of fucking up her boyfriend.

Pics: Wenn.com

The “American Horror Story: Cult” Trailer Is As Terrifying As You Might Expect

The trailer for American Horror Story: Cult dropped yesterday, and, no, it wasn’t just a film of Hillary Clinton’s supporters sipping a giant vat of Sleepy-Tea to slumber on through the next four years. Instead, that shit begins in Michigan on Election Night 2016. You know, that state everyone knew HRC had on lock, so she didn’t even bother to visit. Welp, we know how that turned out: HORRIBLE. Thus, Ryan Murphy knew nothing would be spookier reliving that shit. Only, he could make it spookier…WITH CLOWNS!

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Evan Peters And Emma Roberts Are Engaged Again

American Horror Story victims Evan Peters and Emma Roberts are reportedly once more betrothed. These might actually be crazy kids are the very definition of on-again/off-again.  “Are we engaged this minute?” Evan asks Emma, who usually responds by allegedly biting him.

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Here We Go Again: Emma Roberts And Evan Peters Are Back Together

Hot weirdo Evan Peters and Julia Roberts’ maybe-crazy niece Emma Roberts called it quits for the 1.7 millionth time back in May. If American Horror Story ever did a season based around Groundhog Day, this would be the B storyline. Because once again, Emma Roberts and Evan Peters are back together.

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Emma Roberts And Evan Peters Are Over, Again

Sad. When two people who love each other so much they both start to morph into the His n’ Hers version of an Urban Outfitters manager can’t make it work, what hope do the rest of us have?

According to UsWeekly, almost one year since they dumped their relationship in the trash the first time, Emma Roberts and Evan Peters are calling it quits again. Multiple sources say that it was “amicable“, a word which is tied with the phrase “over the moon” for the most popular adjective to describe how a famous person is feeling about something that has happened in their personal life. Emma and Evan got with each other way back in 2012 on the set of a movie, and then got engaged in 2014. Based on a statistic I just made up, two breakups usually mean the wedding probably isn’t going to happen. With that being said, I wonder which of them will get custody of Ryan Murphy?

Not much else is known about why 25-year-old Emma and 29-year-old Evan couldn’t make it work a second time. My guess is that it ended because Emma told Evan who the Red Devil was two episodes into Scream Queens, and Evan decided he just couldn’t be with the type of person who was so casual about spoilers. That, or Evan’s chiropractor gave him the bad news that ducking so many slaps and punches had put his neck at risk for a C7 vertebrae fracture and that just one more fight could snap his spine.

Here’s Emma holding a purse that looks like a Muppets’ diaphragm at the FOX Upfronts yesterday, and Evan at the UK premiere of X-Men: Apocalypse last week.

Pics: Wenn.com

Open Post: Hosted By Stunt Faller Jennifer Lawrence Almost Falling Again

Not a press tour goes by without Jennifer Lawrence almost munching the carpet by falling, so of course, she had a stage 2 tumble at a screening for X-Men: Apocalypse in London today. Jennifer Lawrence claims that her falls are completely organic and she doesn’t purposely do them to keep her image as the quirkiest quirky girl in the business alive, but bitch, please.

If you watch the riveting video from The Daily Mail below, you will clearly see that Ms. Tumble4YaAttention manages to get through a crowd of people without any problems, and when she gets out into a small open space where her fall will get as much attention as possible, she suddenly stumbles. I like how that woman in the purple, who I’m guessing is her publicist, just happens to be there to catch her fall. If you press your ear to that video, you can practically hear JLaw whisper, “And a 3..2..FALL,” to herself. You can’t fool me, JLaw!

And after JLaw performed the fall that she and a team of choreographers spent hours on in a studio somewhere, she posed with Oscar Isaac and James McAvoy who seemed to have an intense debate about her tits:

Or maybe they were arguing about her busted and ill-fitting Dior dress. Oscar thinks that it looks like a knock-off of a Windsor Fashion’s prom dress made with dyed muslin and James thinks it looks like a stripper’s wedding dress. Yeah, that’s probably what they’re arguing about it.

Pics: Wenn.com, Getty, Instagram