Category: Duchess Kate
The Palace May Be Looking To Send Prince Hot Ginge And Duchess Meghan Away To Africa
Above is a pic from Easter service yesterday of Duchess Kate laughing at something that leaped out of Prince Hot Ginge’s mouth, and if you believe the reports, he’s saying to her, “Bitch, I see you got your nasty slut of a man covering his dick so it won’t wander into the pussy of one of your friends again!”, while she laughs like, “Bitch, shouldn’t you be at home helping your wife pack her ugly clothes since we’re about to banish both of your asses from OUR kingdom!”
There were reports that PHG and Prince William still hate each other, and didn’t speak at all during Easter service (Duchess Meghan wasn’t there since she’s due to birth out the royal ginger baby any day now). That may have been because Prince William and his minions are reportedly working on a plan to send PHG and Duchess Meghan far, far away because he’s jealous of their fame.
Prince Harry And Prince William’s “Royal Rift” Covers People Magazine
Go ahead and hit play on this before you proceed (you can thank/curse me later). In case you haven’t waited in line at a grocery store of late and have not seen the earth shattering news printed on the front page of People Magazine that Prince Harry and Prince William’s households will be torn asunder, then let me break it to you gently. You see, even when two princes love each other very much, they sometimes need a little space to do their own thing and become their own people. The time has come to William and Harry to see other people naked. We, well to be exact, People, call this a ROYAL RIFT.
Prince Williams’ Lawyers Are Trying To Stop The Rumor That He Had An Affair With Duchess Kate’s Best Friend
Hey pathetic commoners, hold on to your fascinator, clutch those pearls, and clench the ruby butt plug! What started as a little royal spat between Duchess Kate and her (former) bff, Rose Hanbury, has morphed into a full blown royal mess that the royal lawyers have to try to clean up.
THE QUEEN Probably Didn’t Ban Duchess Meghan From Wearing Jewels From The Royal Collection
We all remember the dramatic rumor about how Duchess Meghan, who was just Meghan Markle then, threw a fit over not being able to wear the tiara of her choice on her wedding day. Meghan was apparently such a Bridezilla-approved disaster that THE QUEEN had to pull Prince Hot Ginge to the side and let him know to check his bitch. Yes, those were THE QUEEN’s exact words. The Sun claimed today that because of that little incident and how Duchess Meghan has reportedly been treating the staff, THE QUEEN sent her a Zales charge card application since she’d need to buy her own diamonds now that she’s banned from wearing Princess Diana’s pieces from the Royal Collection. But other sources claim that the British tabloids are just being bitchy liars.
Prince Harry And Duchess Meghan Broke The Instagram Follow Record
…and they didn’t have to flash a nipple! Dammit. So it’s been very clear Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan want to cut ties with that uptight Prince William and Duchess Kate, so they moved from Kensington Palace, set up a new office, and they now have their own Instagram handle as of yesterday. Who knew in the year of 2019 we’d all hop like a bunch of lemmings over a ginger and his former actress wife posting photos of them shaking hands outside British nursing homes, but I guess that’s where we are. The new @SussexRoyal handle notched the record for fastest-time to notch one million followers.
Tatler Wrote a Highbrow Take-Down Piece on Duchess Meghan
If you’re a middle schooler looking for a book report topic, snooty British society rag Tatler has something for you! Great Britain needs a reason to feel good about itself since it is royally screwing up its own Brexit, so it’s going for a tried-and-true pick-me-up: slamming Duchess Meghan in a thoughtful way! The magazine spent a long-ass time describing the first year of life with Meghan, even though it’s still about two months from her one-year anniversary with Prince Harry. The glossy magazine shades everything from Meghan choosing NOT to fire a gun with Harry in the countryside (EGAD!) and speculates she’ll divorce his ass after they have a couple of kids. Don’t get too excited, Thomas and Samantha Markle. Tatler shat on y’all, too.