Cuba Gooding Jr. Treated A Miami Club To Some Hot Shirtless Dance Moves

One of my favorite scenes from American Crime Story: The People vs. O.J. Simpson (or as I like to call it, Are You There Juice? It’s Me Bobby) was of Cuba Gooding Jr. as O.J. Simpson getting his partying on to “Everybody Dance Now” in a club with Ross Gellar. I know some people haven’t exactly been feeling Cuba’s acting in ACS. But I can’t say I’m one of them; he totally had me believing that his character was having a great time in that club.

As it turns out, that might have been a bit of method acting on Cuba’s part. Today TMZ released a video of him turnt up at LIV in Miami. Cuba used to strike me as the type who would sit silently in the corner of a club, staring intensely at the DJ while sipping his drink. But not anymore. After a couple dozen drinks (I’m assuming), Cuba whipped off his shirt and decided to wear it like a wig before busting out some topless dance moves for the crowd. Somebody should cover the Snow Dogs‘ eyes. Cuba wouldn’t want them to see this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8K7bTulnw7w

That pretend hair on Cuba’s head is beyond busted, and yet it isn’t nearly as bad as the curly wig they made Sarah Paulson wear as Marcia Clark.

The Daily Mail also found some footage of Cuba Goodtime Jr. rippin’ and tearin’ inside LIV, including an Instagram video of him pushing a dude’s face into his crotch and this one of him getting straight-up shut-down by a woman.

A video posted by JimmyBoi aka TheStreetsJeweler (@jimmyxboi) on Mar 7, 2016 at 2:02pm PST

Today’s “Not All Heroes Wear Capes” award goes to the person who shot that video. I’m sure he moved faster than a speeding bullet after witnessing the exact moment Cuba Gooding Jr. realized he got caught and decided he’s going to murder their phone.

Cuba Gooding Jr. Spills The Secrets Of Tom Cruise’s Beauty

Cuba Gooding Jr. was on Watch What Happens Live last night to promote Shapiro Brows: The Mini-Series Event and that shifty Siamese Cat named Andy Cohen got him to talk about whether or not Scientology’s sexiest pin-up Tom Cruise has pulled, nipped, tweaked or pricked his face. As everyone knows, Cuba and Tommy did Jerry Maguire together and they’ve stayed friends. During a game of the Spill the Tea! last night, Andy asked Cuba to spill the tea on the secret to Tommy’s beauty.

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The Official Trailer For “American Crime Story” Is Here

FX’s promo schedule for Ryan Murphy’s latest camp extravaganza American Crime Story: The People v. O.J. Simpson has felt as long as that white Bronco chase on the freeway. For weeks, they’ve released teaser trailers and promo pictures, and today they finally put out the official trailer and it looks like it’s going to be a beautiful disaster. It’s pretty much looks like O.J. Simpson: The Telenovela.

The trailer has John Travolta looking like a barbecued Raisinet as Robert Shapiro, Cheryl Ladd delivering a world-class eyebrow situation as Robert Shapiro’s wife, Sarah Paulson doing her signature Sarah Paulson cry with two brown mops on her head, Cuba Gooding Jr. sounding like he needs four bags of throat lozenges, Selma Blair gossiping at Nicole Brown’s funeral as Pimp Mama Kris and David Schwimmer bawling in a car as Robert Kardashian. (He’s probably bawling in the car because he realizes he’s defending a demon and is married to a demon too). And there’s also Connie Britton as the morally corrupt Faye Resnick:

That’s pretty much just Connie Britton wearing a lipstick color that only existed in the 90s, but I’ll take it.

And I wonder who is playing the pivotal role of the jury forewoman who fucked up Orenthal James Simpson’s name while reading the verdict? Every time I see the name “O.J. Simpson,” I always read it as, “Orenjal James Simpson.“

The Alien Lizard King Did Not Win A BAFTA Award Tonight

Now that he was expected to, but now I fully expect his kind to drop in on Earth from their home planet and terrorize London for snubbing their overlord. Thanks, BAFTAs voters, you just started the Reptilian vs. Human war.

Benedict Cumberbatch and his knocked up fiancee Sophie Hunter slithered on the red carpet on the BAFTAs tonight and I don’t think I’ve noticed this before, but have they always had the same shaped face? Did getting filed up with B. Cums’ alien lizard mating nectar morph her face into the same shape as his or have they both always looked like the come-to-life police sketch of an alien? Oscar voting ends in less than 10 days, so I’m highly disappointed that Sophie Hunter didn’t give birth to their spawn right there on the red carpet as a puppy they both rescued from a fire (for real and not Brian Williams-style) married them. Come on, B. Cums, time is running out and you better start churning out the STUNT QUEEN stunts. Or at least leak career-ruining stories to the media about how Michael Keaton once liked Iggy Azalea’s Facebook page and Eddie Redmyane actually paid to see and enjoyed Mortdecai.

Click here to see the full list of all the hos who won tonight, but if you don’t want to see the full list, here’s the nominees and winners of some of the main categories.

BEST FILM
Boyhood
Birdman
The Grand Budapest Hotel
The Imitation Game
The Theory of Everything

OUTSTANDING BRITISH FILM
The Theory of Everything
71
The Imitation Game
Paddington
Pride
Under the Skin

LEADING ACTOR
Eddie Redmayne, The Theory of Everything
Benedict Cumberbatch, The Imitation Game
Jake Gyllenhaal, Nightcrawler
Michael Keaton, Birdman
Ralph Fiennes, The Grand Budapest Hotel

LEADING ACTRESS
Julianne Moore, Still Alice
Amy Adams, Big Eyes
Felicity Jones, The Theory of Everything
Reese Witherspoon, Wild
Rosamund Pike, Gone Girl

DIRECTOR
Boyhood, Richard Linklater
Birdman, Alejandro G. Inarritu
The Grand Budapest Hotel, Wes Anderson
The Theory of Everything, James Marsh
Whiplash, Damien Chazelle

SUPPORTING ACTOR
J.K. Simmons, Whiplash
Edward Norton, Birdman
Ethan Hawke, Boyhood
Mark Ruffalo, Foxcatcher
Steve Carell, Foxcatcher

SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Patricia Arquette, Boyhood
Emma Stone, Birdman
Imelda Staunton, Pride
Keira Knightley, The Imitation Game
Rene Russo, Nightcrawler

Do we even need to bother with the Oscars at this point? I’d bet my beat down asshole on Julianne Moore, J.K. Simmons and Patricia Arquette getting trophies. Can’t they just skip all the speeches and handing out of awards and instead air a documentary on the life of Dick Poop?

Here’s more pictures from tonight including some of Michael Keaton, Keira Knightley and Laura Jeanne Poon. I kind of want the Bobbies to fuck with Laura Jeanne Poon after one of the BAFTA after-parties, because I’m wondering what she’d yell at police if she couldn’t yell, “I’M AN AMERICAN CITIZEN ON AMERICAN SOIL!”

Pics: Wenn.com, Splash