Sadly, John Goodman was robbed and is not playing Linda Tripp in Ryan Murphy’s take on the Monica Lewinsky/Bill Clinton scandal. Sarah Paulson is. And after much back and forth, the third season of American Crime Story is a go.
Open Post: Hosted By A Man And His Cat Named Spaghetti Who Both Wore Unusual Attire To Burgle A House
If you pull up to your house to find somebody has left a bottle of cider and a bunch of ceremonial knives on top of your car, the obvious conclusion is that there is probably a cat wearing a t-shirt in your crawl space. Like, I don’t know what else you’d expect, but somehow a Gresham, Oregon homeowner was actually surprised to find Spaghetti the cat (Never 4get the OG Spaghetti Cat) chilling in his crawl space, and Spaghetti’s owner, 38-year-old Ryan Douglas Bishop, also chilling in his crawl space while wearing his fiancé‘s “Christmas onesie”. I’m like, duh! Why else would there be a cat-shaped hole punched into the wall? But according to Fox 12, the homeowner was surprised nonetheless and called the police to report a burglary in progress which was totally unfair to Spaghetti. He wasn’t the one who ate just the bottom part of a cupcake out of the refrigerator! #FreeSpaghetti
UPDATE: Shitty Cuz may have been captured in Bellflower, CA today.
The only levity to be found in the shocking daylight murder of rapper and community activist Nipsey Hussle, is that the primary suspect in his murder has been identified as Eric Holder. This gives us a moment of amusement imagining the former US Attorney General, with his soft grey natural and nerdy uncle mustache, as a hardened killer. But that one is Eric “Himpton” Holder Jr. According to the TMZ, the actual alleged killer is Eric “Shitty Cuz” Holder. Nipsey was once openly a member of the Rollin’ 60s, a Crenshaw area Crips gang. And while the LAPD says Shitty does have gang ties, it’s thought that the murder was more personal.
Former HSOTD Joe Exotic is in some seriously hot water and was recently arrested and is being indicted by a federal grand jury for attempted murder for hire, solidifying his status as a #1 contender for Hot Slut of The Century: Criminal Minds Edition. While his alleged actions were despicable, his unmitigated trashiness is legend. According to The Washington Post, Joe (born name: Joseph Maldonado-Passage) threatened and harassed a woman named Carole Baskin for years. Carole runs an animal rights organization called Big Cat Rescue, and Joe owns a traveling petting zoo of big cats. They’ve never met, but according to Joe, if that were to happen, he threatened to shoot her in the head. Then he tried to hire goons to do his dirty work for him.
According to Deadline, the family of Gianni Versace have released a statement denouncing Ryan Murphy’s latest scandal-based television offering. Needless to say, they won’t be throwing an The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story viewing party in their mansion when it premieres next week.
“You caint do nuthin’ you cain’t do nuthin about” – R. Kelly
Wiser words were never spoken, well by R. Kelly at least. Those were his thoughts as he shared with fans the devastating results of the burglary that occurred at two of his properties in Atlanta while he was out on tour. In a series of posts on Instagram, Kelly gave a rundown of how much was taken from him over the course of the two-day heist. And in case you’re wondering, the answer is yes, R. Kelly’s crib is just as tacky as you might imagine.