Everyone was so busy dissecting the so-called Slap Heard Round The World that they missed the far more devastating Silent Slap that Lady Gaga delivered to Caitlyn Jenner’s ego outside the Elton John AIDS Foundation’s 30th annual Academy Awards viewing party. Not to sound too much like one of Chris Rock’s hacky “men vs women” bits, but Lady Gaga did more damage with a demure “I switched baristas,” while turning away, clutching a mile of billowing taffeta, than Will Smith could ever do with his fists of fury.
Beanie Feldstein Was Confused As To Why Lea Michele, Who She Doesn’t Know Whatsoever, Was Trending After She Landed “Funny Girl”
I’m sure that many eardrums are still raw from Lea Michele’s high-pitched angry wail over the news that the first-ever Broadway revival of Funny Girl is happening in March 2022 and it’s happening without her in the role of Fanny Brice. That role has gone to Beanie Feldstein who is currently starring as Monica Lewinsky in Impeach Those Wigs: American Wig Story. When it was announced that Beanie will be the new Broadway Fanny Brice, Lea Michele’s name trended on Twitter because people were wondering how she’s taking the news. And as Lea grit her teeth down to nubs and tried to operate her iPhone keyboard as her hands shook with rage, she left Beanie a note of congratulations on Instagram that read: “Yes! YOU are the greatest star! This is going to be epic!!”
Well, Beanie was on Andy Cohen’s SiriusXM show, and since he’s an expert shit-stirrer, he brought up how Lea’s name trended on Twitter after it was announced that she got Fanny Brice. Beanie was confused by it all, but said that Lea left her a sweet note and then delivered the theater queen reboot of Mariah Carey’s “I don’t know her” by saying that she doesn’t “know the woman whatsoever.” The “whatsoever” really takes it to another level.
If you see Debra Messing wandering around looking despondent with mascara running down her face, pulling out clumps of her disheveled Lucy wig, please be kind. She has probably just read that Nicole Kidman didn’t really know shit about Lucille Ball until she signed on to play her in the upcoming Aaron Sorkin movie called Being the Ricardos co-starring Javier Bardem as Desi Arnaz. According to Variety, Nicole has been preparing for the role by watching episodes of I Love Lucy and is ready to “give it a go.” It’s unknown if she has also been doing face-kegels to help her mimic any of Lucille’s signature expressions.