I’ve been seeing a little too much of Paris Hilton these days and it makes me wonder if perhaps I’ve woken up in 2006 when her stale gaze and trademarked vocal fry terrorized us all on a daily basis. For whatever reason she keeps popping up like Punxsutawney Phil which means we all must be living inside of some kind of fame whore reboot of Groundhog Day remake with a shittier cast. And since we’re on the subject of 2006, Paris was on Andy Cohen’s SiriusXM show last week and talked about that trinity of mess picture of her with Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan as they were crammed into a tiny sports car like drunken circus clowns outside of the Beverly Hills Hotel.
First and foremost, let’s get into the picture.
11 years anniversary today since the first coming of The Holy Trinity! pic.twitter.com/dxGwTLnFDv
— Paris Hilton (@ParisHilton) November 27, 2017
Oh, Paris. This isn’t a holy trinity darling. This is a trinity of hoes. The only person missing is Paris’s former employee Kim Kardashian, but we were treated to their reunion at Kris Jenner’s annual Fame Whore Convention on Sunday night. But, back to the photo. According to The Cut, during Paris’ interview with Andy, she revealed that Lindsay spotted her and Britney out that night and added herself to their evening like an unwanted shot of penicillin.
“We were all at the Beverly Hills Hotel at the bungalows during an after-party and then Britney and I wanted to leave to go home. Then [Lindsay] started, like, chasing us and then squeezed in the car. And it was literally a two-seater SLR — you know, the sports car. She just, like, squeezed in and I didn’t want to humiliate her in front of all the paparazzi and be like ‘Get out of my car,’ so I was like, ‘Whatever.’”
Aww, how nice. Paris didn’t want to embarrass someone who’s made a career out of embarrassing herself. That’s hot. And now that she mentions it I can almost see the story of that moment in each photo. In the first one Britney looks confused (naturally) like “The hell is this bitch doing here?” Then, in the next photo Paris looks over at Britney and says “Bitch just keep smiling” through clenched teeth. In the next photo Paris and Britney have had enough so they try to make a run for it like “Come on, let’s ditch her!” And finally, Lindsay is coming up fast behind them like Scorpion from Mortal Kombat screaming “GET OVER HERE!” Yeah, that’s exactly how it went that night.