Category: Armie Hammer
Armie Hammer’s Cannibal DMs Will Have A Longer Career Than He Will, Thanks To The Magic Of NFTs
The last time we squirmed and clutched our abs while hate-reading the most recent, loin-searing adventures of the abusive, bone-sucking creep show that is Armie Hammer, he was losing more acting jobs than Lindsay Lohan during her “steal sparkly shit and slap a bitch” phases. That’s a tough act to follow, but those two pillars of polite society also have something else in common, and no, it’s not an STD (that we know of, but the day is young). Both Armie and LiLo have been in recent headlines for their connections to NFTs, or non-fungible tokens.
NFTs are in the news a lot lately, and while some of us just get jaded visions of money laundering when the subject comes up, others like artist Julia Morrison seize the day and claim to try to steer the technology into something nobler and cause-oriented and to explore its function as an authentication tool, and not just a quick way to separate a fool and their money (that comes later).
Armie Hammer’s Estranged Wife Elizabeth Chambers Explains Why She’s Been Quiet These Past Few Months
Armie Hammer has a whole lot going on right now, and none of it is good. Career-wise, he’s leaving and losing gigs left and right, from film to theater, and I’d say, “and everything in between,” but honestly, I’m not confident there’s really anything left. And even if there was work available, I have no idea how the word would get to him, since he currently doesn’t have a talent agent or a publicist to reach out to. Oh yeah, and he’s also being investigated by the LAPD over rape accusations made by one of his alleged victims. And generally, Armie has been laying pretty low. Well, so has his estranged wife Elizabeth Chambers, and someone recently asked her why she’s been so quiet. Prepare to be shocked, but it’s because she just doesn’t think it’s the right time to be filling up her Instagram feed with her every thought, selfie, and high-resolution pic of her lunch.
Another Day, Another Project That Armie Hammer Is Stepping Away From
Armie Hammer has once again freed up a whole lot of time in his schedule by dropping out of an upcoming project, for pretty much the exact reason you think is responsible for his current career transition to The Invisible Man. Seriously, name another person who can suddenly vanish from a job like Armie. I’d ask Armie’s former talent agent and publicist, but they’re likely too busy searching for new hobbies to take up, on account of all the free time they’ve suddenly found on their hands.
Armie Hammer Was Dropped From “Billion Dollar Spy”, The Last Movie Left On His Roster
The final nail in the coffin containing Armie Hammer’s movie career has been hammered in so forcefully, that not even a rich, moderately attractive white man of mediocre talents could ever hope to one day pry it loose. One hopes. Variety reports that Armie’s just been dropped from the last film he was still attached to after multiple accusations of morally reprehensible, and possibly criminal, sexual proclivities came to light. Armie was slated to star in a movie called Billion Dollar Spy opposite Mads Mikkelsen. But don’t worry — I have an idea. Mads took over for Johnny Depp in Fantastic Beasts. Therefore I propose that Mads takes over for Armie and play both roles, they tweak the script, and call it Billion Dollar Parent Trap. Problem solved, everybody wins! Well, except for Armie, but who cares?!
The Release Of “Death On The Nile” Has Been Pushed To 2022
We’ve had a whole year’s worth of headlines about movie releases getting pushed back and other films getting dumped onto the most relevant streaming service, all due to COVID-19. And while some movie theaters are beginning to open back up, the movie-going industry is still messier than the reviews of Doolittle. So it shouldn’t shock anyone that the release of Death on the Nile, the follow-up to 2017’s Murder on the Orient Express, has been moved again, this time to February 11, 2022. Oh, did I forget to mention that Death on the Nile stars Armie Hammer? Hmmm…I wonder why they suddenly decided to wait a whole year before releasing this movie? Interesting.
Vanity Fair Published An Exposé On Armie Hammer And His Family
Vanity Fair just published a new Armie Hammer exposé entitled: The Fall of Armie Hammer: A Family Saga of Sex, Money, Drugs, and Betrayal. There’s not a ton of new information about Armie’s penchant for cannibalism or the abuse allegations (although there are loads of online rumors suggesting a bigger article is on the horizon); the article mainly explores how five generations of Armie’s family have been embroiled in “drugs, sex, dysfunction, and betrayal.” Continue reading