It feels like eons since the foaming fount of freckled ginger messbiscuitry that is 34-year-old Lindsay Lohan has darkened our doorstep with any of her jet-setting, grifting shenanigans. Most of us are still too dazzled by her mature handling of the child-trafficking caper in Russia, savvy management style for Lohan Beach House, and expert tackling of mother Dina Lohan and her catfish fiancé, to ready ourselves for more streams of genius that flow aggressively from her brainpan. Wait, did someone just mention aggressive flow and not in the context of a “boyfriend”? Mischief, thou art afoot. Lindsay: “Foot fetishes are twenty dollars extra.”
Today’s installment in the “If I throw enough shady business scams against the wall, something’s gotta stick, right?” life of LiLo is in the form of an NFT, or non-fungible token.
According to Paper:
On Saturday, Lindsay announced on social media that she’s dropping a new single entitled “Lullaby.” And she’s going to be releasing it as an NFT, or non-fungible token on fansforever.io. NFTs are digital collectibles that represent something unique.
She wrote on her Instagram post, “This is a genesis piece and history in the making!”
There’s been a lot of buzz around NFTs lately. Grimes recently got $6 million for selling digital art as NFTs, and Halsey also dropped an exclusive digital art series as NFTs. And more celebs are joining in on the game. “It’s only a matter of time till everyone in Hollywood and beyond gets involved,” Lohan told Forbes. “Maybe we will see the tokenization of movies, and of how artists are paid for their films, music, and art. I see a future where crypto, NFTs, and blockchain will be the norm, rather than the exception.”
Basically, an NFT is something digital that you pay for so you can stroke yourself raw for the privilege of saying that you own it, but everyone else can still access it for free. Yeah, I know. One NFT recently sold for $69 million. And since it’s gimmicky as hell, it’s total moth-to-a-flame territory for Lindsay, who must know deep down that no one in their right mind would pay for the semi-controlled bouts of caterwauling she calls music, so she has to package it as a rare curiosity to lure in just one buyer with more money than common sense. She really is brilliant!
Here is Lindsay’s Instagram post about her new song, Lullaby, to put all of us right back to sleep: