American Idol Runner-Up La’Porsha Renae Doesn’t Really Agree With The LGBT “Lifestyle”

Many were rooting for La’Porsha Renae to win the last season of American idol and now some of that many are side-eying what she said about the LGBT community: “I am one of the people who don’t really agree with that lifestyle. I wasn’t brought up that way. It wasn’t how I was raised.”

La’Porsha, dost thou not see the irony in thine statement. American Idol is gayer than a manbag full of dicks! Her thoughts and views on the glittery gays were prompted by a reporter asking her what she thought of the new anti-LGBT laws of her home state Mississippi. La’Porsha also gave everyone new information by saying that gay people are people too and said that she has a lot of gay friends and she loves them. via NewNowNext.

“This is how I feel about the LGBT community: They are people just like us. They’re not animals as someone stated before. They’re people with feelings. Although all of us may not agree with that particular lifestyle for religious reasons, whatever the reason is, you still treat each other with respect. Everybody is a human being. We should be able to coexist with one another. I am one of the people who don’t really agree with that lifestyle. I wasn’t brought up that way. It wasn’t how I was raised. But I do have a lot of friends and a lot of people that I love dearly who are gay and homosexual and they’re such sweet, nice people. We should just respect each other’s differences and opinions and move on.”

La’Porsha also tweeted this after the internet hit back at her:

We don't have to agree with each other's life choices to love/respect one another. Live and let live. #RENAETION #RespectThatWeAreDifferent

— La'Porsha~Renae (@laporsharenae) April 9, 2016

Lots of American Idol winners and losers probably pay they bills from performing at regional gay clubs and third-tier pride events, but something tells me La’Porsha Renae isn’t going to be asked to perform at the after-after party for Fresno Pride anytime soon.

Pic: Wenn

Shock And Surprise: A Singer Not Named “Adele” Made People Cry

Ole’ frosty locks hasn’t been that emotional since the store nearest his house was all out of Sun-In.

The original American Idol Kelly Clarkson went back to the show that made her a STAH last night and showed the final 10 how it’s done. While going through phase 3 of the CASE OF THE BABIES, Kelly brought the raw emotions while singing “Piece By Piece,” a song about her dead beat daddy and her husband who restored her faith in men. The emotions overtook her and she had to stop for a second as everyone in the audience and watching at home thought to themselves, “Wait, this isn’t an Adele song, so am I legally allowed to cry?” Keith Urban got so weepy that I thought the ironed-out Calico Cat on top of his head was going to come alive and lick his sad tears dry. JLo would’ve cried, but she’s not about to jack up that make-up job when a camera’s on her face.

After Kelly took us on a journey to Kleenexville and back, the emotionless garden gnome Ryan Seacrest got on stage to talk to her and she told him that the song meaning mixed with the nostalgia of Idol brought the feelings out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FHYBQxURQo

While watching that, I expected to see a puddle of liquid beneath her feet. No, not from her water breaking. But from her unborn baby crying out a million tears.

And on that note, here’s JLo working a sparkly crotch at the American Idol finalist party last night.

Pics: Wenn.com

Clay Aiken Shit On The Show That Made Him A STAH!

The beginning of the end of American Idol happened last night and I completely forgot it was on (so did everybody else), but Clay Aiken didn’t. America’s second most famous ginger power lesbian (Rojo Caliente being the first, duh) and the almost-congressman delivered brand new information when he said on Twitter that the show is now a lifeless puddle of boring and he now knows why the ratings have fallen like early-aughts Paula Abdul after drinking too much Vicodin and Valium tea.

Some of us old, wrinkly, white pubes-having whores who watched American Idol in the olden days miss the train wreck singers, the cunty-wrapped nuggets that flew out of Simon Cowell’s mouth and Paula Abdul being a pilled-up mess. Clay misses those days too and while watching the three drips, JLo, Harry Connick Jr. and Keith Urban, judge the singers last night, he let out a huge yawn on Twitter.

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Farewell, American Idol

The show that gave us the rebirth of the Vicodin-infused jewel that is Paula Abdul and created an all-evil, Kartrashian-making Satanic monster out of a leprechaun with Sun-In highlights will end after 13 years and 15 seasons. The 22-year-old in me who used to watch that mess religiously and even voted several times (You can judge me since I judge myself for that!) is bawling like Paula Abdul when her pharmacist at CVS would say the words: No more refills!

FOX announced this morning that American Idol has been renewed for one last time. Its 15th season will be its last. JLo, Harry Connick Jr., Keith Urban and Ryan Seacrest will all be back. American Idol started writing its own death certificate a few years ago when Simon Cowell and his furry tit pies left it to do the American version of the X-Factor. American Idol’s current ratings aren’t even close to what they were during its glory days. FOX burped this statement today:

“American Idol will begin its 15th — and final — season this January on FOX. A season-long celebratory event, American Idol XV will feature host Ryan Seacrest and judges Jennifer Lopez, Keith Urban and Harry Connick, Jr., as they search for the final Idol superstar and pay tribute to the past 14 seasons of amazingly talented contestants and the millions of fans who tweeted, texted and championed their Idols.”

Why even bother searching for one last Idol? Just like all the other winners of the past few years, the final Idol will be lucky if they’re able to book a gig at the opening of a strip mall in Oshkosh, Wisconsin. For its final season, American Idol should bring back some of its best losers (Sanjaya, Tatiana Del Toro, the thorn in my ass lip Kristy Lee Cook, William Hung, Carmen Rasmusen, Kevin Covais, Jim Verraros, etc…) and let them battle it out. Or better yet, American Idol’s final season should be devoted to finding out whatever happened to Brian Dunkleman:

(SPOILER ALERT: Brian Dunkleman exists and he’s spreading the truth on Twitter.)

And the final episode better feature a performance from American Idol’s greatest discovery: RHONETTA!

American Idol’s death would be in vain if Rhonetta and Paula Abdul don’t sing “Straight Up” together during the last show.

Mimi And Nicki Minaj Officially Quit American Idol

Even a staged bitch brawl between a horny Wuzzle and the broken condom baby of a Madball and a Muppet on acid couldn’t bring American Idol’s ratings back up, so it’s no surprise that they’re letting go of their most expensive judges. Mimi announced today that she’s leaving American Idol (translation: FOX didn’t want to throw another $18 million check at her) and instead she’s going on a world tour where I’m sure she’ll have at least 3 wardrobe malfunctions and make the lambs cream until they’re dehydrated. Mimi re-tweeted this from her management company:

Then a quick minute later, Nicki Minaj also announced on Twitter that Idol’s crew members won’t have to wear special gas masks next season, because they won’t be subjected to the wig glue and toxic paint fumes that waft off of her.

Randy Jackson was kicked out the door a few weeks ago, so that leaves Keith Urban and Ryan Seacrest. There’s rumors that producers want an all-alumni judging panel next season and have already signed Jennifer Hudson and are trying to get Kelly Clarkson, Clay Aiken and/or Glamberace.

But for now, Ryan Seacrest and Keith Urban are all by themselves. They’re sitting on an empty stage and highlighting each other’s hair. Actually, I’d rather watch Gaycrest and Keith Urban highlight each other’s hair for an hour than watch American Idol.

Mimi Did Not Lip-Synch On American Idol Last Night, So Says Mimi

I turned on the TV about halfway-ish through the American Idol finale last night and when the sight of Frankie Valli performing with the losing dudes hit my eyes, I immediately scrambled for safety by changing the channel to anything but that. I was one hundred percent sober and it was too much messiness for my eyes, ears and soul to take. The only gore I want to see on a Thursday night is Dr. Lecter making meat flan out of human bone marrow on Hannibal. But I probably should’ve kept watching that mess to catch the unicorn nightingale that is Mimi possibly lip-synch for her life!

While wearing Barbie’s Christmas time wedding gown circa 1987, Mimi coated the ear canals of her lambs with pixie dust when she sang a medley of some of her hits. The lambs ate it up with a Hello Kitty spoon, but some people on Twitter declared that Mimi’s lip-synch performance was so bad that a deaf baby high on Novocaine could’ve done a better lip-synch job. But Mimi’s reps tell Entertainment Tonight that she did yodel out organic musical notes and did not move her mouth to a track:

Well, ET can set the record straight as Mariah’s reps tell us she absolutely sang the entire medley — Vision of Love, Make It Happen, My All, Hero, We Belong Together and her new single #Beautiful — completely live! Not only that, but we hear she delighted the crowd in between live shots by singing additional hits.

To me, sometimes it looks like she’s really singing and other times it looks like she’s yawning while Windex-ing an imaginary window. Who knows and I doubt Mimi really cares. It’s only American Idol, bitch isn’t coming back next season and I’m sure her final paycheck from FOX cleared before she went onstage. Mimi is onto other things like overseeing the design of a giant replica of a unicorn’s anus for her and Nick to exchange their vows in front of on their fifth and a half wedding anniversary.

Here’s the chick who won, the chick who lost, a deranged chola Muppet and Glamberace at last night’s season finale party.