Clay Aiken Shit On The Show That Made Him A STAH!
The beginning of the end of American Idol happened last night and I completely forgot it was on (so did everybody else), but Clay Aiken didn’t. America’s second most famous ginger power lesbian (Rojo Caliente being the first, duh) and the almost-congressman delivered brand new information when he said on Twitter that the show is now a lifeless puddle of boring and he now knows why the ratings have fallen like early-aughts Paula Abdul after drinking too much Vicodin and Valium tea.
Some of us old, wrinkly, white pubes-having whores who watched American Idol in the olden days miss the train wreck singers, the cunty-wrapped nuggets that flew out of Simon Cowell’s mouth and Paula Abdul being a pilled-up mess. Clay misses those days too and while watching the three drips, JLo, Harry Connick Jr. and Keith Urban, judge the singers last night, he let out a huge yawn on Twitter.
I’ve listened to one of Clay Aiken’s albums before, and if Idol bored him, it must’ve been a new kind of boring. Clay started off a little soft and then he went in:
Watching @americanidol for the first time in a decade. You never know what you've got til it's gone. #idolpremiere
— Clay Aiken (@clayaiken) January 7, 2016
Well… now I know why the ratings are down. 😴
— Clay Aiken (@clayaiken) January 7, 2016
Oh good Lord… those boring ass responses from the judges!? Where is Simon when you need him!? That guy need a hook to pull him off stage.
— Clay Aiken (@clayaiken) January 7, 2016
Clay continued to fluff Simon Cowell’s luscious fur chest pies by saying that he’s the reason why Idol was a hit:
It's VERY clear now that @SimonCowell was the reason @AmericanIdol was a hit. I've watched root canals more entertaining than these judges.
— Clay Aiken (@clayaiken) January 7, 2016
When he got shit for his tweets, Clay stopped fucking a new one into Idol (Did I just sort of call Clay a power top? 2016 really is full of surprises) and pulled back. He said that he was only hard on Idol because he loves it so:
When you really love something you only want the best for it, and you have high expectations from those you know are capable of it.
— Clay Aiken (@clayaiken) January 7, 2016
Err, Clay, it’s just a reality show that had a long run and made many people very, very rich. It’s not like it’s a high school senior who blew off studying for her SATs to get drunk, do coke and have raw dog sex at a party with her friends. It’s not that serious.
But Clay should keep on hate-tweeting while watching Idol, because I’m sure his bitchiness lit a fire into the Claymates. Clay getting all aggressive shook the dust off of their ovaries and set them off. I bet the husbands of the Claymates got the fuck of their lives last night. So hate-tweet on, Clay!
Pics: Wenn.com