For a good portion of 2020, we as a society have cruelly been presented with videos online showing countless yummy morsels presented as one thing––only to discover that they are, in fact, cake. Well, fortunately, somebody has turned something already delicious and made it EVEN more delicious…like the artist who turned a full-sized ‘Colin Firth as Fitzwilliam Darcy into a heaping, 6-foot tall mound of sweet stuff. Anybody looking to be able to make the claim that they once received a mouthful of Colin Firth needs to follow up with this amazing cake artist and place a repeat order STAT!

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CueCat!

Google, Facebook, TikTok, and every other private info-stealing bitch needs to bow down to CueCat who was making bitches scared about their information getting out there decades ago! CueCat may look like some kind vibrating pussy for your pussy, but it was a HIGHLY TECHNOLOGICALLY ADVANCED work of magic that was supposed to change everything, only it pretty much stank more than the lone litter box of a dozen cats.

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Ander Christensen!

The Activist Hall of Fame needs to make room for Ander Christensen who is truly using his voice to bring awareness to an extremely important issue that definitely needs to be pushed to the forefront because it’s not like we’re in the disgusting middle of a pandemic and millions are fighting for Black Lives Matter. Weird Al’s Midwestern activist nephew turned a city council meeting in Lincoln, Nebraska into a real-life episode of Parks and Recreation when he used his time at the mic to call for the ban of the term “boneless chicken wings.” “FINALLY, somebody said it,” said everyone, while the rest of us asked, “But did IT really need to be said?”

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So I guess you could say, Cameron Diaz’s wine line is the Sex Tape of wine? Possibly! According to some people who have tried Cameron’s new wine, Avaline, the experience was a lot like paying to see Sex Tape. Your wallet will be lighter, and you’ll come out of it saying, “Wow, okay – so that wasn’t very good at all. Cameron, how could you do me like that?”

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Anti-gay evangelist, Jerry Falwell Jr. claimed that his wife Becki Falwell had an “improper relationship” with a dude who wanted hush money in exchange for not saying shit about the affair. Well, the dude, whose name is Giancarlo Granda (and who looks like this), has spoken out, saying that he met the Falwells when he was 20 years old and was working as a pool boy at the Fontainebleau hotel in Miami. Giancarlo says that he regularly fucked on Becki for years and Jerry liked to watch. Giancarlo has texts and audio, which he claims prove that he’s telling the truth. Well, Jerry may be out of a job as president of Liberty University, but if The Cucking4Jesus Association ever needs a president, he’s their cuck! But don’t put down your bag of popped and buttered schadenfreude just yet, because I’m sure it won’t be long before we hear that Jerry did more than just “watch.” And Giancarlo must have some kind of hard dick superpowers because you’d think it’d be humanly impossible to keep a boner as a dead-eyed and slobber-mouthed Jerry Falwell Jr. faps while staring at your naked body. That’s a serious feat, or a serious curse, depending on how you look at it  – Towleroad

I’m just here (at the trailer for Zack Snyder’s cut of Justice League) for Aquaman’s wet nipples – Lainey Gossip 

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