Tokio Hotel has a new album out which means that the purdiest alienbot in the game, Bill Kaulitz, is going to be killing our sex appetites us left and right with his glittery and gritty glamour. Here’s Bill work-work-working his new “Aunt Entity” hair in Paris yesterday. And Bill is definitely keeping us guessing with those “drop the crotch” pants. Git it, Billy!

If you Google “Demi Moore plastic surgery” you’ll find several stories and pictures detailing Demi Moore’s journey down the plastic surgery highway. A couple of years ago, the Daily Mail even ran a story about how Demi dropped hundreds of thousands of dollars on a complete plastic surgery makeover including getting her knees de-wrinkled. Well, Demi once again claims that all of these accusations are made out of one hundred percent LIES, because she’s never had anything done. If your eyeballs didn’t roll right out of your head, hold them tight, because they just might do that after reading Demi’s version of the truth. Keep the phrase “BITCH STOP” waiting in the wings….

Demi told French Marie Claire (via The Telegraph), “It’s completely false, I’ve never had it done. But I would never judge those who have. If it’s the best thing for them, then I don’t see a problem.” Demi went on to yap that she’s not a fan of plastic surgery, “It’s a way to combat your neurosis. The scalpel won’t make you happy. That said, the day when I start crying when I look at myself in the mirror might be the day when I’m less adamant about not having it done. For the moment I prefer to be a beautiful woman of my age than try desperately to look thirty.”

Oh, Demi! This game is fun! You know, I didn’t just gobble down two powdered donuts. No, that was an organic apple and a boiled egg (whites only). And no, I didn’t spend my entire night bonging and boozing. No, I spent it mediating and trying to find my chi (SPOILER ALERT: It was in my bong). See, isn’t that a fun game. We can all play along with Demi!

Why doesn’t Demi just admit this shit? Yeah, she’s not the second coming of Donatella Versace, but she has definitely spent a little quality time with the scalpel. Methinks they might be lovers.

I mean, what does Demi have to say about this:

Let me guess, Demi was sunbathing topless and the wind just happened to blow two silicone-filled plastic sacks into her nipple holes?

No, no, no, no, no….I’m not talking about the artist currently known as RiRi. I’m talking about the glittery gold goddess behind her! Homegirl is like a sexier, fresher, hotter version of Brooke Hogan! You know, if Brooke Hogan took her estrogen pills every day the way she’s supposed to! The gold goddess is getting it. Even RiRi had to put on her sunglasses, because her eyes couldn’t take the sunshiney rays beaming off of the gold beauty.

Here’s Alien Princess RiRi with her little brother and the gold goddess outside of The Lion King on Broadway last night. RiRi styled her hair like Zazu just for the occasion. And apparently, the paps told RiRi about DJ AM’s death, so that why she looks so shocked. Yes, the paps are the new Twitter.

One of KFed’s rogue sperm fishes spotted on Google Earth – Towleroad

Megan Fox should be slapped for wearing those shoes – Just Jared

Greeeat, now the paps are actually answering Megan Hauserman’s phone calls – Egotastic!

Chicks love Robert Cavalli’s distressed leather moobies (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

Shiloh came down from her crystal and ivory tower to go buy a newspaper with her Saint Angie – Lainey Gossip

Christina Ricci’s infinityhead is looking erect – Hollywood Tuna

I guess Courtney Love’s untied sandalboots are the least of her problems – ICYDK

Brit Brit’s weave doesn’t look swampalicious for once, but those BOOTS. THOSE BOOTS! – Popsugar

Serena Williams sexes up her wax figure – Hollywood Rag

Shouldn’t Russell Brand have been eating pineapple during a beej instead of a plum? – I’m Not Obsessed

RiRi does a bad impersonation of Grace Jones on Vogue Italia – Socialite Life

Just another reason to not get involved with the aliens – Celebitchy

Katie Price is already text fucking other dudes – Holy Moly!

Whore pit viper – Celebslam

Drunks have moves – Cityrag

Rayanne Graff popped out royalty – Popeater

In case you haven’t heard (since it’s on every news show, website newspaper and your neighbor might be shouting it from the window), Senator Ted Kennedy passed away last night at the age of 77 after a battle with brain cancer. Ted was the last surviving brother of the Kennedy dynasty. Ted’s sister Eunice passed away recently.

The Kennedy family issued this statement early this morning:

“Edward M. Kennedy – the husband, father, grandfather, brother and uncle we loved so deeply – died late Tuesday night at home in Hyannis Port. We’ve lost the irreplaceable center of our family and joyous light in our lives, but the inspiration of his faith, optimism, and perseverance will live on in our hearts forever. We thank everyone who gave him care and support over this last year, and everyone who stood with him for so many years in his tireless march for progress toward justice, fairness and opportunity for all. He loved this country and devoted his life to serving it. He always believed that our best days were still ahead, but it’s hard to imagine any of them without him.”

May the lion rest in peace…

Source: Associated Press

Is this the face of a cunt who would intentionally destroy everything her husband has worked for just because she thinks he needs to dip his ass in other things like her? Well, Betty Confidential thinks it is. According to their sources, Fishsticks Paltrow wants her fellow cuntmeister husband to put Coldplay on pause, so that he can go and do his own thing.

Their source said, “Gwyneth has outright told Chris that he should consider going solo. She is busy doing all of her projects and she wants him to diversify as well. She doesn’t have a problem with Coldplay, but she wants Chris to think about trying a solo album just to see if he likes it. When Gwyneth mentioned it, Chris was furious. He loves the band and he has no desire to change things right now. Chris basically ignored her and walked away.”

To be fair, I think Chris completely ignores her ass anyway. When Fishy asks him if he wants steamed organic bird seed or cunt paella for dinner, Chris answers her by showing her his ass.

And I have a hard time believing this. Fishy could give a dinosaur’s clit about what other bitches are doing. Fishy’s nose is so far up her own ass that she simply can’t be bothered to sniff at other people’s shit.