Well, this is all kinds of sad. TMZ says that while driving on the Pacific Coast Highway (I’m starting to think nothing good happens on the PCH) around noon today, Bruce Jenner was involved in a 3-vehicle crash that has left one person dead and seven injured. Several eyewitness say the crash was caused by Bruce rear-ending the car in front of him, which pushed the car into the wrong lane of traffic and then struck by an oncoming Hummer. The woman driving the car he rear-ended was killed. Seven others are being treated for injuries ranging from minor to moderate. Bruce is reportedly fine.

Sources close to the Jenner family say that Bruce told the police he was being chased by paparazzi when he rear-ended the car in front of him, and that he wasn’t drinking. TMZ says he was given a sobriety test, which he passed.

UPDATE: TMZ says Bruce volunteered to go to the hospital and let the police take a sample of his blood for a blood alcohol test. They’re also saying that the woman’s vehicle was coming to a stop at a red light when Bruce rear-ended her.

The Butterscotch Don strikes again! According to BuzzFeed, Tracy Flick’s long-lost sister Taylor Swift has sent her lawyers after all her fans making things inspired by their favorite professional singing prom queen and selling it on Etsy, therefore stealing precious pennies out of her gold-lined strawberry-scented pockets. Watch out, 9-year-old girls who write Taylor Swift lyrics on their Trapper Keepers – you’re next.

It all started last month when several Etsy sellers started receiving cease-and-desist letters from Tay Tay’s legal team (Shortcake, Sunshine, & Wink LLP) telling them to knock it off with all the knock-off Taylor Swift items they were making and selling. Items like candles, mugs, hand-made t-shirts, and cross-stitches. All of which have been taken down and removed from their respective Etsy shops, since they’re considered by Tay’s lawyers to be trademark infringement. Apparently, anything picture of Tay Tay’s folk art face (save for the 1.9 million pap shots taken of her exiting her apartment every week) is owned by TAS Rights Management. By the way, TAS = Taylor Allison Swift. Lord love a duck, even her brand management company has her name on it.

And speaking of trademark infringement, those crafty fans shouldn’t even think about making any new Taylor Swift-inspired items for their Etsy shops, because Tay Tay has recently applied for a bunch of trademarks for several lyrics from her latest album 1989, including the phrase “this sick beat”. “Don’t worry, you can have it” said the remaining 3 fratboys who still use the word sick.

And I would love it if during all this trademark infringement drama, Tay Tay received a letter from Dick Wolf and Shonda Rhimes saying “Yeah, so our layers told us that your cats are named after trademarked characters from our TV shows…“

The second it was revealed yesterday that the 2015 Sports Illustrated: Swimsuit Issue would feature their first “plus-size model“, people put on their coats and shoes, walked their asses down to the nearest book store, bought a dictionary, wrapped it up, and threw that shit in the FedEx truck bound for the SI head office with a note attached that read “The definition of ‘plus-size’ is on page 798, take a look – xo, everyone with working eyes“, because their so-called plus-sized model looked pretty much like an original recipe model.

And even the model in question, Robyn Lawley, thinks it’s BS that she’s considered a plus-size model. During an appearance on the TODAY show Thursday, Robyn – who is a size 12, and not a size 10 as previously reported – spoke about her size, saying: “On the runway it’s mainly a size 0 to a size 4, and I am like triple the size of these girls.” But she later clarified in an Instagram post that that’s no reason to use the term plus-size:

“Chatting with the @todayshow today about @si_swimsuit kudos to @mj_day I’m with everyone there that’s it’s ludicrous to call me plus size and I’ve stated that publicly pretty much every step of the way, of my career, si_swimsuit are at the forefront of embracing women of a variety of sizes! They’ve been doing that from the beginning and they have not once called me plus size, it’s about time we forgo labels and embraced size diversity in the fashion world and mainstream media!!! #loveyournaturalsize”

“A variety of sizes” – sure, if the sizes range from XS (xtra sexy) to XL (xtreme-ly sexy).

Robyn’s right though – it doesn’t really matter what size she is. All that matters to the SI subscribers waiting anxiously by the mailbox for their annual Bikini Babe Bible is that she’s in it. “What size is she? Uh…36DD? Can I have my sexy booby magazine now?“

Kanye West is so lucky; he’s the only person who can cut his Barbie’s hair and it will grow back. 7-year-old me is extremely jealous right now. Yesterday, Kim Kardashian did what Kim Kardashian does every day: she spent roughly 7 hours finding her light and took a picture of herself. Except yesterday’s selfie looked a little different than the rest of her sultry sedated anteater selfies, because she had about 1/2 the hair she usually does. Kim kaptioned the above picture: “I cut my hair short today“, and it’s not quite short and not quite a bob (a slob then? Sure). But she didn’t elaborate any further on why she did it. I’m guessing it was for one of the following reasons:

1. Kanye is updating her look from sexy girl to cool girl this year. Future adjustments may include swapping out stilettos for Converse sneakers, a vintage ripped Nirvana t-shirt, and answering to the name “Kimber”

2. Kim cut her hair in an act of defiance after Kanye told her to go easy on the Botox (“If he wants me to look fug, then I’ll give him fug! I’ll start by cutting my hair! Then…I dunno…maybe I won’t contour my face with 12lbs of powder! I’ll show him!“)

3. North West found a pair of safety scissors and dared Kim to cut her hair (you know what it’s like when you leave two children alone for 5 minutes)

Here’s Kim and Kim’s new hair strolling out of the DMV with Pimp Mama Kris yesterday, and for some reason both of them are dressed like unlicensed real estate agents from Mad Max times:

Pics: Instagram, Splash

In 7 days, Nick Gordon has gone from Bobbi Kristina Brown’s husband to Bobbi Kristina’s boyfriend to the dude who might have had something to do with why she was found unconscious in a bathtub. According to TMZ, Georgia police are currently conducting an investigation into the circumstances surrounding Bobbi Kristina’s seriously sad bathtub situation, and they’re starting to think Nick Gordon may have more to do with it than just performing CPR on her body while he waited for the paramedics to arrive.

Sources claim Bobbi and Nick had a history of getting violent with each other, and now the cops thinks something shady might have gone down an hour before she was found unconscious last Saturday. TMZ says that Max Lomas (the friend who found Bobbi Kristina in the tub) came over to their house at 9am and hung out with Nick. Max says he didn’t see Bobbi, but Nick told him she was in the bedroom. Some time later, Max says Nick wandered away, but he didn’t pay much attention to it.

About an hour after Max arrived, a cable guy showed up to the house, and because Nick was MIA, Max let him in. The cable guy told Max he needed access to the bedroom, so Max let him in, and that’s when he discovered Bobbi in the bathtub. Nick heard him screaming, ran to the bathroom, and started performing CPR on Bobbi. Max also claims Nick started cleaning up the house and getting rid of blood stains.

Police say they’re investigating both Nick and Max, and that Max has asked for immunity before he tells them anything else. Uh oh.

I honestly can’t think of a way Bobbi Kristina’s situation could get any worse. First her extended family redefines the word trash by bailing on her bedside vigil for a drunken spitting fight at a hotel, and now her former husband/current shady boyfriend might be the reason she’s in the hospital in the first place. Jesus and Whitney, take all the wheels.

Pic: Instagram

Keedy!

In honor of Grammy weekend, I’m paying tribute to the musical artistes who should have to live in a house with walls made of steel and bricks to hold up the shelves that carry all ten thousand of their Grammy trophies. Keedy isn’t the only way little kids say “kitty,” it’s also the name of a pop chanteuse from the early 90s who had a hit with the song “Save Some Love.” It was the first single off of Keedy’s first album and it went to #15 on the Billboard Hot 100 and it’s STILL killing it on the charts today. What I mean by that is, if I sort all of my iTunes music by most plays, “Save Some Love” would be #2,300 at least.

Wikipedia says that Keedy’s next single didn’t really do as well as the first and she never put out a second album. She went back to Wisconsin, where she grew up, and makes music there now. But at least, we have “Save Some Love” which sounds like the theme song for a TGIF sitcom in the 90s. Keedy has the looks of Martika in a Sassy spread and “Save Me Love” sounds like a mash-up of nearly every Madonna song from the late 80s. If Martika did a Who’s That Girl tribute album, this is what it would sound like (SPOILER ALERT: It would sound like perfection):