Night Crumbs
Robert Pattinson has never EVER looked hotter or more glamorous in this picture and I’m only saying that because he’s got an exquisitely gorgeous emu on his shoulder – Lainey Gossip
The one from How To Get Away With Murder who kind of looks like Jennifer Connelly to me (squint and you may see it) is in GQ Mexico – Drunken Stepfather
Oh please, I’m sure St. Angie Jolie and Brad Pitt’s child army have certain classes they have to take like “how to put together the perfect all-black ensemble” and “how to find the nearest toy store in under 5 minutes” – Celebitchy
If there’s a documentary about MC Hammer’s life, that’s the one Justin Bieber should watch since that’s probably his future – The Superficial
Kyle Richards spent $1.5 million on renovating her house. And I’m sure she got most of that money from stealing her sister’s GODDAMN HOUSE! – Reality Tea
RiRi’s nipples look like tiny copper thimbles – The Nip Slip
Crispy Ronaldo got a facial – Towleroad
You know that purple crop sweater you wore on the first day of the 8th grade in 1988? I think your parents sold it in a garage sale and Xtina bought it – Hollywood Tuna
Why is one of Squidward’s flowers clinging to Olivia Wilde’s tit? – Popoholic
Nathan Fillion and one of George Clooney’s ex-pieces are doing it on the regular – Just Jared
Scott Disick checked out of rehab and the first thing he did was buy a new Mercedes, because you know, priorities – Starcasm
John Oliver is a dad – Pajiba
Finally, there’s another human on earth who hates that “Wheels on the Bus” song – The Berry
ICYMI: Cheyenne Jackson’s ass – OMG Blog
There I go again, mistaking Zoe Kravitz’s hot boyfriend for her hot dad – Popsugar
Pic: Getty (Thanks to everyone who pointed that pic out to me)
Miley Cyrus Bared Her Pussy For Terry Richardson And Candy Magazine
Candy is the magazine that graced our eyeballs with the piping hot image of Tilda Swinton looking like a flaming ginger phoenix in glamour drag and James Franco looking like a rejected Robert Palmer Girl. And now they’re giving your eyes another serving of Miley Cyrus’ nipples. I usually see my nipples every day when I hang my head down to cry in the shower and I have still seen Miley Cyrus’ tit knobs more than my own.
If you’ve been feeling way too clean today and needed a reason to scrub penicillin powder onto your eyes with a Chore Boy, just picture Terry Richardson jacking off with one hand while NSFW taking pictures of Miley Cyrus sucking off a police baton with the other. As the glory hole cum stain Uncle Terry shot away, the edgy hillbilly chipmunk served up all sorts of poses like the “tasting my pit fur” pose and the “strung out hustler looking for a john” pose and the “self-sucking strap-on” pose. I have a feeling that the strap-on picture is going to be the Cyrus family holiday card this year.
And yeah, I get it, Miley Cyrus is still letting Mickey Mouse know that she’s all grown up and is beyond edgy now and can flash her marmoset cooter anytime she wants, but why drag that poor innocent pussy into this? That cat wants nothing to do with this mess. I’m not sure if that cat’s face says, “Meow meow?” (that’s “Why me?” in catanese) or, “You fucking better not cum on me, Uncle Terry.”
Pics: Candy
Open Post: Hosted By A Baby Kangaroo Who Loves Hugs
And today in “awwwww,” meet Indi, an orphaned joey who is currently hanging out and living in The Kangaroo Sanctuary in Alice Springs, Australia. Indi is addicted to hugging and can’t get enough of hugs from her human caretaker. Every time her caretaker Chris Barnes comes around, she demands a hug from him. Indi can only hug his hand since she’s miniature-sized right now. If Indi also demanded a glow stick show, some orange juice and a back rub, she’d be just like me during my raver days, only a zillion times more adorable, of course.
Jessica Biel May Not Vaccinate Her Kid, So Says InTouch Weekly
Now that InTouch Weekly mentions it, Justin Timberlake does look like he’s got a touch of consumption in that picture or maybe his eyes just hurt from looking at Jessica Biel’s fugly ruffle bukkake ice skating dress.
InTouch Weekly (so this is served on top of a giant salt mountain) heard from a “friend” that Jessica Biel have joined the likes of Jenny McCarthy, Alicia Silverstone and Kristin CavaImTooLazyToGoogleHerLastName in the anti-vaxx movement by refusing to vaccine her 7-month-old son Silas. Jessica Biel’s friend didn’t really say how Justin Timberlake feels, but they probably asked him and it was hard to hear his answer over the sound of him giving himself a Brazilian Blowout in the bathroom.
A friend of the couple claims so, telling In Touch that “Jessica is refusing to vaccinate him. She feels that vaccination could cause complications.”
The friend who alleges that Jessica and Justin aren’t vaccinating their son adds: “I’m sure Jessica believes that she’s making the right decision, but hopefully she and Justin will do some more research on this and change their minds.”
InTouch says that they left 9 messages for Jessica and Justin’s reps over the past few weeks, but got a whole lot of nothing back. InTouch claims that the reps received their messages. Oh so, the people at InTouch are those kind of messes who ask for a return receipt email.
Great, Jessica (may) have gone and done it. Every time a famous type decides not to vaccinate their baby, the horns on Jenny McCarthy’s head grow half an inch more and her evil powers get stronger. And really, I won’t totally believe this until Justin Timberlake released an anti-vaxx remix of his greatest hits which will include “I’m Bringing Measles Back” and “Cry Me A River…Of Smallpox.”
Pic: Wenn.com
Lindsay Lohan Dressed Up Like Sharon Tate On Charles Manson’s Birthday
So far this year, the one-time reigning Queen of Attention Whores has done sad, bottom of the barrel stunts like announce that she may run for president and flash a fake engagement ring at a party. Pure amateur attention whore shit. Lindsay Lohan’s latest stunt is just as low-level and she’s truly not making the most of her natural attention whore skills. Yesterday was the anniversary of the day that Lucifer butt birthed out Charles Manson and it was also the day that Lindsay Lohan Instagrammed a picture of herself in Sharon Tate drag. LiLo captioned the pic with this and I was going to say that she forgot to add the #LOOKATME hashtag but every one of her hashtags translates into #LOOKATME.
Lindsay Lohan may look like Sharon Tate currently, but other than that, I have no idea how that look is Sharon Tate inspired. It looks more like a Coachella business suit. And there are a few explanations for this, so let’s go over them real quick:
1. LiLo didn’t know it was Charles Manson’s birthday and can’t let go of playing Sharon Tate in a movie.
2. LiLo did know it was Charles Manson’s birthday, but decided to spend the day honoring the victims.
3. She did it solely for attention.
I know, I don’t even know why I bothered writing #1 and #2. And well, I’d rather see LiLo do her best Sharon Tate than look at another heave-inducing picture of her making food look like an alien autopsy:
via Gossip Cop
Pauley Perrette Was Nearly Killed By A “Psychotic Homeless Man”
Pauley Perette, the one-time blogger who plays a goth Harley Quinn-looking forensic special in NCIS, told the terrifying tale on Twitter early this morning of how a mentally ill homeless man viciously attacked her and threatened to kill her outside of her home in Hollywood, CA yesterday. In a note she posted on Twitter, Pauley says that she was walking from her house to a guest house she bought across the street to meet her architect when a homeless dude jumped her ass and repeatedly punched her in the face while threatening to kill her over and over again.