Moscow is burning!

American dance teacher and black belt voguer Dashaun Wesley brought the Harlem ball scene to his class in Saint Petersburg, Russia when he taught two children how to vogue for their lives. I always knew that the art of voguing would one day unite America and Russia. Dashaun Wesley wrote this on Facebook about teaching the children of Russia how to vogue like they’ve never vogued before:

My class in Russia. Kids Voguing down and letting it on out
Girl Nicol Safronova
boy Leonid Mizrahi

And yes. Their parents were their to support them.
Swear I love Voguing
(understand the joy of this)

The video pretty much speaks for itself. Those drops probably knocked Putin right off of his feet.

All of the Russian I know I learned from Sigourney Weaver in Heartbreakers. So I’m wondering how do you say, “WEEERRRRRRRRK,” in Russian? It’s “da,” right?

via Out Magazine

Now it makes sense. Leonardo DiCaprio changes his girlfriends faster than most of us change our Brita water filters, because he believes that women are the most persecuted in the world and he’s showing all the ladies of the planet some love and affection and he’s doing it one woman at a time. He’s just starting with the tall, blonde, young skinny models. He’ll get to you short, brown-headed, non-skinny oldies eventually.

Leonardo was on Today this morning to promote The Revenant and Willie Geist asked him what winning an Oscar would mean to him. Leonardo probably dug deep to not jump out of his chair and twirl around while singing, “I want it now!” Leonardo played it cool while LYING!!!!

“I know it’s a cliché, but the truth is it’s ultimately not why you do these films. You do them because if you love the art form — and cinema to me is the great modern art form — you can look back one day and say, ‘I did that piece of work, and I gave it everything I could while I was there.’ And if you have enough of those later on in life, you’re a happy artist.”

Yeah, right, Leo. You do it for the yachts, model cooch and OSCAR!

Leonardo DiCatchAHo also did an interview with Parade (via Lainey Gossip) where he talked about making the movie, saving the environment and other shit. He was asked about marriage and fame, and he said that marriage will happen to him when it happens (read: when the government makes it legal for a human to marry an Oscar statue) and said that he doesn’t like to bitch about the hardships of fame since he knows he can walk away from it if he wants to. He was also asked why the role of women in The Revenant play such a small part while the dudes dominate. Leo said this.

“This represents the savagery of a lawless culture. Women have been the most persecuted people throughout all of recorded history, more than any race or religion.”

He’s going to get in trouble for that one. The Los Angeles Times did a study a couple of years ago where they found that 94% of Oscar voters are white, 77% are dudes and the average age is 62. So Leo’s Oscar campaign manager is totally going to give him hell for not saying, “White old men have been the most persecuted people throughout all of recorded history, more than any race or religion.”

Pic: Wenn.com

When I went to the Mayan ruins in Tulum a couple of years ago, I watched a trucker hat-wearing tourist take a selfie using a selfie stick and I thought that was the most disrespectful act the Mayan gods will ever witness. But the Canadian anal fissure topped that yesterday by acting like a spoiled drunk mess at the Mayan ruins. Ellen DeGeneres better clear her schedule and pull out the glycerine, because Justin Bieber is going to go on her show to cry out fake tears while swearing that he’s really sowwy this time.

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If you’re Alex Rodriguez, I’d know you’d hit it like the final pitch at the World Series. This is A-Rod’s dream girl. She’s got the 3 Bs: blonde, buff and butch!

On last night’s second season premiere of Lip Sync Battle, Jenna Dewan Tatum did herself up in bro drag (complete with Mimi-like painted on abs) to channel her husband Channing Tatum while performing Ginuwine’s Pony. Channing Tatum’s response to that was to tuck, pluck and fuck it up as Chanyonce while performing Run The World (Girls). Channing Tatum as Beyonce looks more like He-Man in drag as She-Ra. Chanyonce is giving me Jocelyn Wildenstein’s face on Madonna’s body.

The queens of RuPaul’s Drag Race have nothing to worry about, because Channing lip synched about as good as Brit Brit Spears after getting her mouth shot up with novocaine. But what Chanyonce lacked in lip synching skills, he made up for in charisma and pussy popping. A very special guest also strutted out at the end. Sadly, it wasn’t Jonah Hill who did himself up in Shakira drag to perform Beautiful Liar. Prepare your b-hole for puckering:

To quote Channing Tatum:

HAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH
HAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I love how Beyonce gave Chanyonce props at the end. I don’t think she even did that with Michelle Williams. Chanyonce and Beyonce should really be the Super Bowl Halftime Show headliners. Move over, Coldplay.

Channing also did Queen Elsa and this is obviously the role he was born to play.

And it weirds me out to say this, but yeah, I’d hit it until his wig popped off.

Quentin Tarantino’s dream come true. – ThirdLaw

Upvote winner:

Clit flops. – OurMissC

Pic: Break

The rim job tattoo a dude in Britain got on his back!

Dear Allison Williams, Vivica Fox and Wheelchair Jimmy, meet your salad tossing hero! There’s a show on Channel 4 in the UK called Bodyshockers and it’s all about people who “shock” their family and friends by getting “shocking” body art. You know, some of them get shit like forked tongues, corset piercing, devil horn implants and peen head splitting (Pro tip: Don’t Google that if you have a peen and don’t want it to cry out real tears). Cosmopolitan says that Trace Cyrus’ 23-year-old British twin John Woodman (no, that porn name is not his government name) was on the show because he wanted to get a tribute to ass licking inked into his back. John wanted the tattoo because he says ass licking is something he loves to do. Drake’s precious wrinkled butt flower just got the tingles.

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