The Russian legend who protested her right to sun her nalgas out of her apartment window by sunning her nalgas every sunny day!

I’m going to go ahead and assume that all of the citizens of the UK who voted to BREXIT did it because they really want to join the Russian Federation so they can be a part of the same union with this #FREETHENALGAS hero. That must be it. Meduza (via Gawker) says that every time the sun is out in the city of Novosibirsk, a delicate Russian rose feeds her ass cheeks a giant serving of Vitamin D by hanging them out of a window in her second floor apartment. Her ass cheek sunning session starts at around 10 in the morning and stops at around 1 in the afternoon. She doesn’t totally look like a terra cotta pot on the bottom and a white china plate on top, because she also suns her other parts sometimes.

Believe it or not, but there are some prude ass bitches who don’t appreciate that this butt-tanning activist has been beautifying their block with her nalgas. There’s a children’s art center nearby, so some neighbors have gone full думать о детях (Rosetta Stone’s drunk brother Google translate tells me that’s Russian for “THINK OF THE CHILDREN“). They’re afraid that the innocent eyes of the children will be tainted by the sight of a human’s butt. The butt-tanning haters started a petition to report her to the police and her building’s administration, but it hasn’t worked and she hasn’t stopped. The man who took that picture of our nalgas-bearing Russian pioneer and her sunny side up ass said this to Novosibirsk News:

“I know that old ladies collected signatures to go to the police and to the control house. But it does not end, the lady continued to sunbathe. It’s her apartment, it’s her body.”

Whenever I’m feeling confused or scared, I’m going to close my eyes and think of the angry Russian memaws trying and failing to hit our hero’s ass cheeks with slingshot pebbles. It won’t make me feel any less confused or scared, but at least I’ll get a quick laugh out of it. Keep fucking that chicken sunning those cheeks, Russian hero!

Pic: NGS

Solange “Basement Baby” Knowles (30)
Candace Patton (28)
Stassi Schroeder (28)
Kaitlin Cullum (30)
Minka Kelly (36)
Mindy Kaling (37)
Petra Nemcova (37)
Kelly Wiglesworth (39)
Sherry Stringfield (49)
Hope Sandoval (50)
Iain Glen (55)
Tommy Lister (58)
Joe Penny (60)
Betsy Randle (61)
Nancy Allen (66)
Mick Fleetwood (69)
Peter Weller (69)
Michele Lee (74)
Robert Downey Sr. (80)

Pic: Complex

Lainey has a blind item about a famous man whore, partier and actor who is currently in a serious relationship, but sends one of his exes a fancy purse every month so she’ll keep her mouth shut about how he has herpes. My first guess was Leonardo DiCatcho, but I think he’s currently allergic to serious relationships. My second guess was Gerard Butler, but I don’t think he gives a shit enough to send a hush present. So I’m going to go with my third guess, Ed Asner – Lainey Gossip 

In case you don’t watch Real DrunkWives of New York City and want to know about Bethenny Frankel’s health situation, she has fibroids – Reality Tea 

Amber Heard apparently thought Johnny Depp was passing his queso-covered peen to another – Celebitchy

What the head bitch of Disney meant to say is, “Huh? What personal problems?”, before diving into the pool of money he made from Pirates of the Caribbean crap – The Superficial 

FYI: That child who sings “Stitches” isn’t gay, but he did come out as the kind of dude who watches his own interviews on YouTube – Towleroad

Louisiana blossom Brit Brit Spears continues to show us that she’s the queen of weaves, twirling and fashion – Drunken Stepfather

Ben Affleck loves that slur-fest of an interview where he made it clear that he wants to butt birth one of Tom Brady’s babies – Jezebel

A reminder that we’re all older than we’ve ever been: Nintendo 64 turned 20 – Egotastic

This list of the 7 best songs of the 90s is invalid without some Adina Howard on it – Pajiba

I have no idea what’s going on with Chloe Grace Moretz’s outfit – Popoholic

Taylor Swift’s ass pads may have made an encore appearance on her butt – IDLYITW

Disappointment IS me thinking these were new pictures of Bai Ling. Confusion IS me wondering who in the hell Bip Ling is – Hollywood Tuna 

Since the second season of True Detective was shit, The Texas T-Rex may go back to save it during its time of need  – Starcasm

Kanye West must be Chun-Li’s new stylist – OMG Blog

David Beckham wore too many clothes to Fashion Week in Paris – Popsugar

Kelly McGillis was attacked by a crazed stalker – Just Jared

Pic: Tradesy

DNAinfo Chicago says that the police are once again searching for Sinead O’Connor after she went messing and reportedly told family members in Ireland some disturbing shit. The cops in Dublin contacted the cops in Chicago and told them that Sinead was suicidal. Chicago PD issued two all-call radio messages to officers today, telling them to be on the lookout for Sinead. Sinead told her family members that she was on a bridge in Chicago and was going to jump. This is the message that has gone out to the police:

“All units stand by for the All Call message. … Word from Ireland police Sergeant Claire Mulligan, Dublin, Irleand, is saying that at 15:30 hours Sinead O’Connor called and said ‘I’m on a bridge in Chicago and I’m going to jump’. If officers could keep an eye out for the celebrity.”

TMZ adds that the cops spotted someone who they thought was Sinead but it turned out not to be her.

Last May, Sinead went missing after going for a bike ride in Wilmette, which is a suburb of Chicago. Sinead is currently staying in the Chicago area with friends. The cops were told that Sinead may be suicidal. She was later found safe in a hotel in Chicago. Sinead has also been going through it lately. She’s in a custody battle with her ex Donal Lunny over their 12-year-old son Shane. And she’s still dealing with the lawsuit that Arsenio Hall threw at her for saying that he was Prince’s drug pusher.

Hopefully, like last time, Sinead is currently safe in a Chicago hotel room where she’s either crank calling “Arse-nio” or better yet, writing a sequel to her adventures with the difficult brown, because many of us have been waiting for years for one.

UPDATE: Sinead made a grand return to Facebook to deny that she wanted to off herself. She’s jumping, but she’s not jumping off of a bridge. She’s jumping for joy about BREXIT.

Anne Harris…. YOU JUST GOT FUCKED BY GERRY ADAMS!
IRELAND IS OFFICIALLY NO LONGER OWNED BY BRITAIN!!!!
CONGRATS TO EVERY MAN, WOMAN AND CHILD WHO EVER DIED FOR THE CAUSE OF IRISH FREEDOM, AND ALSO TO ALL THOSE INCLUDING MYSELF, WHO HAVE BEEN PERSECUTED MERCILESSLY BY THE IRISH SO CALLED FREE-STATE FOR HAVING DECLARED SUPPORT FOR SINN FEIN AND THE REPUBLICAN MOVEMENT.
OUR DAY HAS COME !!!!!!!
(Oh and by the way it’s bullshit I jumped off a bridge, some stupid bitch up at Swords Garda station decided she’d like to throw a bit of false and malicious gossip about is all). AM FAR TOO FUCKING HAPPY FOR THAT!!
IRELAND 4 ENGLAND 0!!!

Pic: Wenn.com

“Oh wait, that’s not the legendary Noxzema Girl? Screw this, let’s go then.” – everyone in that picture including the cops and her bodyguard.

Just like her acting skills, Blake NotSoLively’s style to me is usually boring wrapped in meh and stuffed in blah. But while leaving her hotel in NYC yesterday, drops of 80s/90s glamours shot off of her body and landed on my eyes. I can practically smell the scent of the rubber from the Clairol Benders she used to achieve that mane of blonde spiral perfection, and if I keep sniffing, I think I can smell a tiny whiff of Tribe perfume. Blake’s stylist must have been going for these 3 looks in one swoop:

• Assistant manager at Judy’s who drives a brand new Honda del Sol, has a boyfriend named Chad and can get you into any Maxi Priest show because her dad is a dentist and works on the teeth of his touring manager.
• The off-brand version of Totally Hair Barbie sold exclusively at Pic ‘N’ Save.
• The original host of Club MTV who got replaced by Downtown Julie Brown because she couldn’t read the cue cards.

And all of those looks put together are the look to the third power.

Pics: Wenn.com

If you haven’t been following music lawsuit news or have a middle-aged Dad in your life who is really into both classic rock and plagiarism, then this will be new to you. Two years ago, a lawyer representing the estate of guitarist Randy Wolfe, formerly of a band called Spirit, filed a copyright infringement lawsuit against Led Zeppelin. In it, they alleged that the guitar intro to Led Zeppelin’s 1971 song “Stairway to Heaven” had been stolen from an instrumental song Spirit released in 1968 called “Taurus.” However, the Associated Press says a jury didn’t agree, and earlier today they decided Led Zeppelin didn’t steal shit.

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