Friendship pins!

The girls in my school in the 80s and 90s were pretty much strictly into friendship bracelets, because they were classic and timeless like that. But others girls at other schools and one of my cousins were way razor sharp edgier and a million times more pUnk* RoCk*, because on top of friendship bracelets, they also made friendship pins for each other. Unlike friendship bracelets, which require extreme skill and years of practicing at slumber parties to make perfectly, friendship pins were so easy to make that even a Kartrashian could do it. (Well, not Kourtney Kartrashian, because it would probably take her 45 minutes to put one bead on and by the time she got to the second bead, she’d forget what she was doing and Snapchat the giant jar of lemons on her kitchen table.)

Girls would put their friendship pins on their shoes and laces, which would make their Converse look like Punky Brewster puked all over them. I never knew this, but Like Totally 80s says that some girls in the 80s followed a color code. Each color had some kind of meaning:

White: gentle, pussycat
Red: strong, vigorous, sweetheart
Orange: calm, buddy
Yellow: intelligent, good friend
Green: envious, enemy
Turquoise: sensitive
Blue: happy, hugs and kisses
Black: sad

And NOW Katy Perry knows why she got a box full of green “friendship pins” from Taylor Swift!

Pic: Cindy deRosier

Kunty Karl Lagerfeld (83)
Sanjaya Malakar (27)
Coco Rocha (28)
Matthew Followill (32)
Misty Copeland (34)
Mikey Way (36)
Ryan Phillippe (42)
James Duval (44)
Johnathon Schaech (47)
Guy Ritchie (48)
Big Daddy Kane (48)
Colin Firth (56)
Chris Columbus (58)
Siobhan Fahey (58)
Kate Burton (59)
Amy Irving (63)
Joe Perry (66)
Bill O’Reilly (67)
José Feliciano (71)
Philip Baker Hall (85)
Arnold Palmer (87)

Pic: Numero

No, Michael Chiklis did not suddenly grow taller and pay a visit to LensCrafters recently. That’s Vince Vaughn looking like a studious peen, and yes, I would – Celebitchy

The trailer for Ben Affleck’s Live By Night is out, and my first thought is that his Dick Tracy cosplay gets an F! – Lainey Gossip 

There’s a rumor that Katie Holmes agreed to a clause in her quickie divorce settlement from Tom Cruise that keeps her from talking about him to the media and publicly dating anyone. It supposedly expires next year. If this is true, then I hope that on the day it expires, she releases a tell-all and also marries Jamie Foxx in front of Tommy Girl’s house – The Superficial 

Okay, but what is that Diane Sawyer hair on Taylor Swift’s head – Drunken Stepfather

Lisa Vanderpump is going to Washington to speak against the dog meat festival in China. And yet she’s still torturing her own pooches by putting them in those clown pimp ensembles – Reality Tea 

Katy Perry will pay for a year of film school for a Pulse nightclub survivor – Towleroad

Here’s a pregnant Natalie Portman in a twee pillowcase – Popoholic

Based on that video, I’m thinking that Rick Astley wants us to dance and drop acid – SOW

You’ll never believe this, but the paparazzi took pictures of Charlotte McKinney in a bikini the other day – Hollywood Tuna

What is the real mystery behind Holly from Stranger Things? I’m going with the theory that everything that happened in Stranger Things was a figment of Holly’s imagination and when she grows up, she’s going to sell the idea to Netflix for 7 figures – Blastr

Miss America finally got its first openly gayelle contestant – HuffPo

Lacey Chabert had a baby and sadly, she didn’t name her kid Fetch – Popsugar

Desiigner got arrested and charged with a bunch of things. Weirdly, he didn’t get charged for the crime of putting an extra “i” in his rap name – Just Jared

Pic: FameFlynet

Tongan taekwondo Olympian Pita Taufatofua may have left Rio without a medal, but he just won something that Michael Phelps has never won and will probably never win: Hot Slut of the Month! Now who’s the real champion, right?

Pita Taufatofua, the oiled-up Olympian from Tonga who slid his way into the hearts and hungry genitals of people everywhere, won August’s HSOTM battle. Let us all get on our knees and bow down to our greasy-nippled HSOTM ruler. Pita got 35% of the votes and he barely kept Butt & Fuchs (31%) off his tail,  but he easily beat Al Roker (23%) and La Morena (11%). Pita is the first human dude HSOTM winner this year. I know, the major accolades just keep coming his way. He will go on to the Hot Slut of the Year showdown next year and he’ll go up against Ludivine the Marathon Dog, Flossie Dickey, Birdie Sanders, Margaret Miles, Zeus the bathtub-loving Siberian Husky, the Naked Rebel Sunbather of Russia and Rep. Joyce Beatty.

Thanks to everyone who voted (and a LaMorenaSideEye.jpg for everyone who didn’t vote for La Morena)!

Pic: Getty

Amber Rose is the host of the new Loveline podcast and so she’s been spitting out words about sex a lot lately, like how can she can’t remember the number of fuck partners she’s had (who can, really?). Amber recently said on Loveline that now that she’s talking about sex more, she felt like she needed to broaden her whoreizons so she decided to have her first threesome with a dude and another chick. It left her as disappointed as Kanye West was that time she told him she just had a manicure and didn’t want to get into any finger-in-the-booty action. Amber said the threesome was horrible and passion-less. She added that she might call her baby father to cleanse her coochie of the terribleness of it all. Amber may have tried to get on the tattooed scarecrow dick belonging to her baby father Wiz Khalifa, because this morning, he said in a tweet that he doesn’t want to be her after-threesome rebound peen. Sure, Wiz could’ve texted her like a normal person, but then he wouldn’t have gotten his regular dose of Vitamin A (for attention)!

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Well, he’s sort of sorry. He’s just mostly sorry if anyone was offended by it. Ah, the classic “I’m not sorry I did it, just sorry I got caught” apology.

Country singer Jason Aldean decided to dress up as Lil Wayne last Halloween. If Jason had done his research, he would have learned that it is possible for a white person to dress up as a famous rapper whose name starts with Lil for Halloween without pulling out some dark makeup and going full-NO. But Jason went ahead and did himself up in blackface anyway. Almost a year later, Jason is sorry-ish for doing that.

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