While watching E!’s awkward and messy red carpet coverage, I nearly put my bong away, because I got secondhand high, drunk and whatever from Matt LeBlanc. (But then I quickly clenched my bong like it was 9″ dick, because I remembered that I still had more Giuliana Rancid interviews to get through.)

The generic brand Ryan Seacrest (which is saying a lot since Ryan Seacrest is the generic brand Ryan Seacrest) called Jason Kennedy asked Matt LeBlanc some stupid questions on the Emmy red carpet and Joey Tribbiani was the opposite of thrilled to be there. But when Jason mentioned that Emilia Clarke, who plays that dragon chick on Game of Thrones, was with Giuliana at that very moment, he got a body boner and perked up. Emilia fangirled over Matt when they were on The Graham Norton Show together a few months ago.

Jason asked Matt if he watches GoT, and he went full creepy uncle when he said that he watched it the first season and stopped, but needs to catch up, because “that’s when she started getting naked.” I could practically hear his tip get moist when he said that. Matt IS that gross uncle who tells you that you’re really filling out and always tries to peck you on the mouth.

#Emmys: Matt LeBlanc wants to catch up on #GameOfThrones (since Emilia Clarke gets naked) https://t.co/2hCSOQmIzq pic.twitter.com/eymGW5u4of

— Hollywood Reporter (@THR) September 18, 2016

Emilia laughed it off and said, “I’ve watched Friends. I don’t remember him getting naked, though.”

I blame Ryan Seacrest’s Sunday night understudy for this! If Jason Kennedy never asked Matt LeBlanc about GoT, I would not have the image of him going home tonight to watch GoT while fucking a dragon Fleshlight, and you know he’ll keep his Ray-Bans on. Damn you, SeacrestBot 2.0.

And here’s Emilia looking like a fancy condom and Giuliana looking like Miss Havisham’s mothball-covered curtains at the Emmys tonight.

Pics: Wenn.com, Getty

Just like that, Ryan Murphy looked at that picture and got an idea for a new FX series starring Cuba Gooding Jr. and John Travolta as Lori and George Schappell.

The Emmys are tonight  and a big question this year is whether or not nominee Tom Hiddleston will whip out that “I Heart T.S.” tank top, set it alight, and beg for everyone’s forgiveness for his brief summer dalliance with The Serpentine One if he wins. The other big question is whether or not I will hurl my couch out the window if Tatiana Maslany loses Best Actress. The Orphan Black clone queen has played ELEVEN COMPLETELY DIFFERENT CHARACTERS on the show. Meryl Streep ain’t shit compared to Tatiana Maslany! I’m gonna need the other broads to just look over at her before the envelope is opened and give her an, “Ok, you got this one, baby, just take the stage” motion. Ok, geek rant over.

Here’s the cast of The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story, which will probably sweep tonight at the FX/Vanity Fair party. Let’s see. John Travolta’s wig is glued in. Check. Cuba Gooding Jr. is wearing a teddy bear. Check. Angela Bassett looking sleek and stunning. Check. Sarah Paulson looking like she’s going to a BDSM sock-hop. Check. We’re good here.

Pics: Splash

This week, in one of the more bizarre (and delightful) daytime television occurrences in recent memory, Corey Feldman and his band of angels somehow gained access to the Today .He proceeded to give us the most unwittingly hilarious television performance since Meghan Trainor’s ass gave the stage a deep soul kiss over at The Tonight Show.

Continue reading

This is one way to throw your coming out into reverse.

TMZ reports that actress and mean girl witch-hunter Bella Thorne (whose name I always speed-read as “Bella Throne” and it calls to mind a luxury Italian toilet brand) was papped making out with the fake gay Tyler Posey. Teen Wolf jokingly came out of the closet a couple of weeks ago. This was followed by the Internet after him for making light of that particular process. Well, this confirms it! He’s just a socially tone-deaf pinhead and not really into man ass.

Continue reading

Once one of the more visible followers of the Thetan fun time religious cult known as Scientology (he reportedly “disconnected” with a wife over his former faith), Jason Lee has revealed that he is no longer on board L. Ron Hubbard’s volcano spaceship. In an interview with Denton, Texas’ culture blog The Dentonite, Jason let it slip that he doesn’t have to pretend like Tom Cruise is a god of wisdom anywhere. He can openly be glib!

Continue reading

Jimmy Fallon earned an eternal side-eye from myself and the many, many others when he played cutesy with the Dorito-toned  crazy currently running for POTUS during an interview on The Tonight Show. As he massaged Donald Trump’s hair like a desperate rub n’ tug parlor worker with the rent due, you could almost read the “I’m covering my ass just in case he wins” in his face. But not everyone on The Tonight Show followed Jimmy’s lead and kissed Trumps ass. The Tonight Show’s house band The Roots took a cue from Trump’s wall idea if and performed a short selection from an Erykah Badu song with an appropriate lyric when he walked out. via Entertainment Weekly

The Roots welcomed Trump to the stage with a short rendition of Erykah Badu’s “20 Feet Tall.” As the former reality television host took the stage, singer Black Thought sang, “Then you, you built a wall/ A 20-foot wall so I couldn’t see.” A major part of Trump’s platform is a proposed plan to build a wall along the U.S-Mexico border if elected president.

You can see The Roots’ troll move at the 11:30 mark below below:

This isn’t the first time that The Roots has used a song to express their true feelings about a guest. When Michelle Bachmann appeared on the show in 2011, they played a bit of Fishbone’s “Lyin’ Ass Bitch.”

Maybe The Roots can take Jimmy aside and teach him how to perfectly shade and troll a guest to their face?

Pic: NBC