Lady Gaga Is Pretty Much Confirmed For The Super Bowl 51 Halftime Show

September 25, 2016 / Posted by:

Lady Gaga  recently spotted getting bullshit over her Jeep breaking down in the desert and staging a mini-Coachella in response, looks to be locked-in to run the halftime show during Super Bowl 51. I realize the costumes will be as out there as humanly possible. We’ll probably be able to see whatever she wears from space. But please, Stefani, keep the demin panties at home. While enduring watching the epilepsy-taunting vid for Perfect Illusion, I kept thinking I saw gap and it wasn’t the kind we know as “thigh.”

Sports Business Daily says that Gaga’s halftime show will probably be announced by the NFL today. Presidential debate? What debate? This is the real news!

Lady Gaga will indeed be the halftime show headliner at Super Bowl LI after reports first popped up last week that she would perform at the game in Houston. Sources said that Gaga will be confirmed by Fox on Sunday during its NFL programming, most likely during its pregame show.

Part of me hopes that this year’s halftime show will follow last year’s wherein they got a big name to play but then had an even BIGGER name completely steal the show from them. Just like when Missy eclipsed Katy Perry the year before! It’s a tradition at this point! My dream would be that, halfway through Lady Gaga performing Bad Romance with her tits stuffed into a bra made out of two-liter Pepsi bottles, the power goes out. All of a sudden, the PA crackles into life with this recording:

“Hey girl, I just wanna let you girls know that I’m a real messy bitch. A liar! A scammer! I love robbery and fraud. I’m a messy bitch who lives for drama!”

The lightshow starts and Joanne the Scammer, in a ratty Kris Jenner wig and only the finest of fake furs she shop-lifted from a swap-meet, saunters in from under a goalpost. Lady Gaga, realizing the jig is up, will immediately hop into her (now repaired and operational) Jeep and drive her ass away. Because the real talent is here! The crowd goes wild, Joanne receives their adulation, and she sneaks out while everyone is distracted. Everyone in the stands will then realize their pocketbooks and wallets are missing. I might even watch the actual game if that was the halftime show. And not just because of the veritable safari of visible jockstrap lines.

Check out more pics of Lady Gaga saying “eff you” to bras and takings selfies with fans outside of her apartment building in NYC yesterday.

Pics: Splash

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