The last time we checked in with Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson’s human Four Loko headache of a son Chet Haze, he was apologizing for using the n-word and announcing he was going to stop doing coke and crack. That was a little over a year ago, and we have an update on Chet Haze’s life. One of the things Chet did in the time since we last heard from him was make a baby. Yes, Chet Haze is a dad.

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Here’s some good news that no doubt had Russell Crowe whipping a phone into the air while shouting “Hooray for me!” (I’m pretty sure he can’t not celebrate without throwing something).

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The all-caps, bold-faced, big font sized DIVA who out-performed everyone and easily snatched up the show during Hairspray Live! last night. (UPDATE: Thanks to everyone who educated me by telling me that the scene-stealing DIVA from Hairspray Live! is Instagram beauty sensation Bretman Rock!)

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Sinead O’Connor (50)
AnnaSophia Robb (23)
Kate Voegele (30)
Sam Hunt (32)
Nicki Minaj (34)
Chrisette Michele (34)
Ingrid Michaelson (37)
Ian Somerhalder (38)
Matthias Schoenaerts (39)
Dominic Monaghan (40)
Nick Zinner (42)
Corey Taylor (43)
Tyler Mane (50)
Teri Hatcher (52)
Athena Lee (52)
Ann Coulter (55)
Phil Collen (59)
Deborra-Lee Furness (61)
Kim Basinger (63)
Rick Baker (66)
Nancy Meyers (67)
Gregg Allman (69)
John Rubenstein (70)
Graciela Daniele (77)
James Galway (77)
Sammy Davis, Jr. (1925-1990)
Jim Morrison (1943-1971)

Pic: Fanpix

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Suri Cruise still hasn’t handed Katie Holmes a pair of scissors and ordered her to cut off those tragic clip-on-looking ass bangs. But the good news is that the Katie in that poster is throwing a not-amused side-eye so we don’t have to – Lainey Gossip 

The look IS Christina Milian in scaffolding netting – Drunken Stepfather

Matt Damon is talking about whitewashing in Hollywood again… – Celebitchy

Remember gold digging Lauri Peterson from Real Housewives of Orange County? Well, her son is going on trial for attempted murder, which means that Bravo will ask her to be a full-time cast member again in 3..2.. – Reality Tea 

Well, since Kelly Osbourne is THEE premiere voice of the LGBTQ community, I am totally going to listen to her (no, I’m not) – Towleroad

If you’ve been looking for the perfect demure and timeless ensemble to wear to Christmas Eve mass, it’s been found on Barbara Palvin – Hollywood Tuna

Demi Rose = A Selena Gomez wax figure + Kylie Jenner’s body – Popoholic

The only question I have after watching the trailer for the new Transformers movie is: Does Anthony Hopkins need a check that bad? – IDLYITW

I’m pretty sure the powers-that-be at Scientology have been pulling this trick for decades – OMG Blog

The new Fifty Shits Darker trailer is out and yup, that mess is still about as sexy as a dried-up cold sore – Pajiba

RiRi claims she wasn’t trying to start a Beyhive v. Navy war. Uh huh… – Just Jared

Sia and her husband of two years are done and it may or may not have to do with him getting tired of eating a clump of her wig mask every time he tried to kiss her – Popsugar

Pic: Splash

There are many things from the 80s that I think should rebooted and brought back like Jell-O 1-2-3, Stacey Q’s career and The Charmings. But there are even more things from the 80s that I think should not be rebooted and should be left alone, and Little Shop of Horrors is at the top of that list. But since Hollywood is pretty much just a giant Audrey II who gets more powerful by eating and killing what you love most, they’re planning to remake Little Shop of Horrors.

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